TOPICS

How Should a Submissive Treat another Dom?
Bringing up Issues as a Sub to a Dom
Caning
Going to a Pro-domme
Punishments
Punishment for a New Mom/Sub
Are Some Women Turned on By Cross-Dressers?

THRVGloryB: Hi there, Pashun!

THRVPashun: We are again honored to have with us Gloria Brame...to talk about BDSM and answer all of your questions about kink! How was your weekend, Glory?:)

THRVGloryB: Great, thanks, Pashun. How about you? Do anything exciting?

THRVPashun: Enjoyed it very much and anticipated this chat! ;)

THRVGloryB: (it's still a bit early to start conf, right?)

THRVPashun: Yes...we have a few minutes ;)

THRVGloryB: Should we just hum until it's time to begin? ;-)

Guest 1: LOL

THRVPashun: LOL :) Our Honey girl should be here soon to help out ;)

THRVGloryB: I see Guest2 in the crowd . How are you, Guest2?

Guest 2: LOL, I'm fine, Glory, thanks. And you?

THRVGloryB: Guest1, are you new to this chat? Feeling quite mellow, LR. For me, that is. :-)

Guest 1: yes Ma'am

Guest 2: LOL, cool.

THRVGloryB: Ah, well, welcome to our happy little nook of perversity.

THRVPashun: Folks...I hope you have all kinds of great questions for Glory tonight :)

Guest 1: thank you Ms Glory

THRVGloryB: Or even mediocre questions. As long as you have questions. :-) Otherwise, Pashun and I will be forced to talk to each other. ;-)

THRVPashun: yuppers :)

Guest 3: oh are You looking for ?'s

THRVPashun: And you would all get to watch! :)

Guest 2: Well, we can't have that, now can we :-)

THRVPashun: yes, Guest3...do you have one?

THRVGloryB: Hello, Guest3! Thanks for leaving a message on my site!

Guest 3: Yes, actually I wrote to Your site about it. But first , I just wanted to extend an invitation for You to come to New Orleans Power Exchange I think there was some talk about that.. but anyway, I won't bore everyone

THRVGloryB: Guest2, it'd be a dangerous proposition. :-)

THRVPashun: Would you like to discuss it here, Guest3?

THRVGloryB: Pretty soon I'd be trying to make Pashun as, er, EAGER as Buja. Honey!! Hello!

THRVPashun: ohh Glory!! :)

THRVGloryB: Uh-oh. Calm down, girl. :-)

Guest 3: my ? to Your site was.. how would You suggest that a slave/submissive treat Dommes who are not her owners?

THRVPashun: LOL

THRVGloryB: Shall I just take Guest3's question, Honey?

Guest 4: Hi Gloria!

THRVGloryB: Hey, Guest4! smoochie Er...I guess I will answer that question. :)

THRVPashun: Sure..go ahead Glory :)

Guest 5: ?

THRVGloryB: Guest3, I don't think that subs are bound to treat dom/mes they don't serve with anything more than ordinary politeness. If they wish to be extremely polite, I suppose saying things like "yes, ma'am" or "no, ma'am" gets extra credit , but my point of view is that titles should be used sparingly, or they lose meaning. What do others think? Do you feel you have to treat others you meet in social situations as if there was a dom/sub dynamic between you?

Guest 2: Common courtesy, yes. But to let someone order you around, simply because they are Domme, too, no.

Guest 3: I agree with that... but I wonder sometimes if others don't get offended, when it is obvious I don't want to be *extremely* polite with them LOL

Guest 1: I always use "yes Ma'am" and "no Ma'am"

Tnkrbell77: hi everyone

Guest 2: Tnkrbell**

Guest 3: Hi Tink

THRVPashun: {{{{Tnk}}}}} Hiya! Hey Tnk...I am on top tonight! :)

Guest 1: hello Tink

Guest 4: Hi Tink!

Guest 6: ? I have this fantasy of being caned, are you familiar with this activity

THRVGloryB: Guest3, do you think folks expect you to treat them as your dominant just because they are dominants?

Guest 2: Oops. Is it okay to *Tnkrbell, Glory?

Guest 3: MsGloria.. to answer, no I don't; however I think they expect some differentiation

THRVGloryB: Such as what, Guest3?

Guest 3: Guest1 is a prime example.. saying that he/she says Yes Ma'am to everyone - I feel a little offset because I can't

Guest 7: ?

THRVGloryB: Well, Guest3--why do you call me "MsGloria," instead of Gloria or Glory?

Guest 3: Glad that You noticed - I had a little ? about that myself. I couldn't call You Mistress or Ma'am, so Ms has become my default :-)

Guest 1: I always do that in the since or the 'nilla world

THRVGloryB: How do *you* decide who you're going to treat with that special respect? So I'm Ms by default? :-)

Guest 3: LOL yes, unless I get to know You better :-)

THRVGloryB: I think it's become a really tedious problem in the Scene these days, because no one wants to offend people they meet, but it's a little difficult to treat people with respect simply because they claim to be dominant. I feel that until one really knows that a top deserves the title, you're best off reserving its use.

THRVHoney: Guest5, you may ask your question!

THRVGloryB: Okay--who's next?

Guest 5: well I'm new to this whole thing in real life, but the guy I'm seeing has spanked me a few times and I guess he might be interested in more how would I go about bring up the whole issue especially as I'm more of the submissive

THRVGloryB: Guest5, was it his idea or yours to spank you?

Guest 5: his but he may have only been playing, I don't know really

THRVGloryB: How many times has he done it with you? I'm thinking that once might be "just playing" but more than 2-3 times suggests that he's sincerely interested.

Guest 5: just one or two spanks each time we've seen each other while we're fully clothed. Should I say something or just wait for him

THRVGloryB: Hm. Well, you can try one little flirtatious method. After he gives you a spank or two, you could seductively whisper that you wish he wouldn't stop there. Then wait and see how he reacts. I think that if you know it's something that turns you on, you should go for it!

Guest 5: ok...I'd feel silly if he just laughed or something

THRVGloryB: SM is about self-empowerment and giving yourself permission. Well, Guest5, to be honest--if he was uncool about it, then perhaps that would be a sign that he's not the best choice of sex partners for you.

Guest 5: thanks for the advice...will try it out next time then

THRVGloryB: Yeah, see what happens. It seems like a pretty non-threatening way to do it. Good luck!

Tnkrbell77: <--thinks he will keep spanking :-)

THRVHoney: Guest6, you may ask your question now....:-)

Guest 6: I have this fantasy of being caned are familiar with this activity

THRVGloryB: Indeed I am, Guest6. Caning is a very popular activity among BDSMers. Do you have a particular type of caning fantasy? Like being a naughty schoolboy and being punished by a governess? Guest6 seems to be floundering.

THRVHoney: LOL

Guest 3: LOL

Guest 6: I think about going to a pro dom

THRVPashun: Ewwww.... :)

THRVGloryB: Guest6, why would you choose a pro over a non-pro domme?

Guest 6: any advice

THRVGloryB: I can personally attest to the fact that there are real women who much enjoy disciplining submissives with canes.

Guest 6: don't know any amateurs

THRVGloryB: I always advise people to learn more about the organized BDSM scenes, so they can pick up solid information on how to do these things in a healthy, safe, positive way.

Guest 2: !

Guest 3: !

Guest 6: thanks I'll do that

THRVGloryB: There are undoubtedly groups in your area, and clubs where you can meet like minded people.

THRVGloryB: Comments from Guest2 and Guest3? Go right ahead.

THRVHoney: Guest2, you have a comment?

Guest 2: I just wanted to say, that in my opinion, some men think of going to Professional Dominants because finding a non-Professional Dominant who will accept married men, for example, can be difficult.

Guest 3: <-- will wait for Her

Guest 2: And Professional Dominants are real Women also, in my opinion. I am non-Professional.

THRVGloryB: Oops! My apologies, Guest2, I didn't mean to say that they aren't real! I meant "non-commercial" but...gah...no, I stuck my foot in my mouth.

Guest 2: Okay :-) I was wondering if I read it wrong :-)

THRVHoney: Guest3, you also have a comment?

Guest 3: good point, Guest2. My comment was that I am continually amazed by people who fantasize and dream, and want more, you're right would be a lot less complicated but it totally escapes them that there are groups where they can find these things or at least meet people

THRVGloryB: I think there are a lot of reasons, and not all of them so good, why men go to pro dommes. I think often it's because they are really guilty and ashamed about what they want and feel a lot safer if they think they can control a woman by paying her to do what they want.

Guest 3:

THRVGloryB: Anyone wish to respond to this controversial idea? :-)

THRVGloryB: No takers? :-)

Guest 2: Am wondering how many men found that they couldn't control her whether they paid or not.

Guest 3: don't know if I want to spew on that bucket of fish

THRVPashun: Hmmm, come on folks... I am sure you have an opinion about this :)

Guest 1: I agree with you Ms Glory...maybe they wish to top from the bottom

Tnkrbell77: I think the man going to the Prodom does want to maintain some control.

Guest 2: Remembering some of the stories I've heard from my Professional Friends :-)

THRVGloryB: Guest2--I should also add that I worked as a prodomme for about a year, privately and on a limited basis, but I got some insights into it.

Guest 6: true but its easier to stay behind doors

Guest 2: Did you feel that they were in control, Glory?

Guest 8: I would think one would feel less in control for having to pay

Guest 3: excellent ?, Guest2!

THRVGloryB: Guest2, I was certainly conscious that I was being paid to tailor the scene to their specifications. If I didn't satisfy their desire for particular scenarios, they wouldn't come back. It was the rare customer indeed who genuinely came for the experience of giving up all control. Most were what I'd call "do-me" subs, afraid to make a commitment to real subspace.

Guest 9: ?

THRVGloryB: I'd love to hear comments from the audience on what I'm saying.

Guest 1: "do-me" sub's LOL

Guest 2: Man, punted always at the good part.

Guest 10: !

Guest 6: I feel its easier to spell out a fantasy to a stranger

Guest 3: !

THRVHoney: Guest10, you have a comment?

THRVGloryB: Why is that, Guest6?

Guest 8: ?

Guest 10: yes, I would just like to observe that in My experience, many men who go to pro dommes wish to protect themselves from the emotional aspects of submission paying distances them enough that they feel "safe" from the intensity of their feelings.

Guest 6: I'm embarrassed to tell friends, I think I would go out of town

Guest 8: Hello Ms. Brame. If one pays doesn't that empower the dominant and weaken the willfullness of the supplicant?

THRVGloryB: Good insights, Guest10! I agree with you. Guest8, I guess that depends on a man's relationship to money. I think many men feel that if they pay for something, they own it. Guest8, are you saying for you, though, it'd symbolize your helplessness and desperation?

Guest 8: I've always felt that as concerns desired women, paying proves you don't own them!

Guest 3: I agree, but I can see what Guest8 is saying now

THRVGloryB: Any other men care to comment? Tink, I'm not sure you qualify, but go ahead.

Guest 8: Helplessness in the thrall of ungraspable perfection

Tnkrbell77: I think most men who pay will expect to get "their" fantasy fulfilled. Not the fantasy of the Dominant, But probably there are some people who are exceptions.

Guest 11: Subs go to Pro-Dom to avoid intimacy with the pro-dom

Guest 3: <-- wonders how many fantasies Pro-Dommes can have left after a while

Guest 12: but if I went to pay for it, I wouldn't want the domme's fantasy fulfilled. I would want mine

Tnkrbell77: exactly Guest12.

THRVGloryB: Guest12, I think that's how most male subs feel when they go to prodommes.

Guest 8: If one identifies a Goddess one must honor and empower the vision

Tnkrbell77: If CANING is what you paid for you probably will expect to get caned.

Guest 13: Good point Guest12

THRVGloryB: I never had a sub who paid then sat down and asked me what MY fantasies were.

Guest 2: ?

Guest 12: and I think most men would think the same way they pay, they have some control

THRVGloryB: Guest10--how do you identify a Goddess? By seeing her picture in an ad?

Guest 3: omg

THRVGloryB: I hate to be crude about it, but I think the average male isn't thinking with the gray matter above but the pink matter below when he goes to a pro domme.

THRVHoney: Guest9, you may ask your question now.

Guest 9: Thank you

Guest 12: I agree w/all of you

Guest 11: The Sub looks at the Pro as an object not personal

Guest 9: I am looking for additional punishments, that are not physical in nature. My sub, is barely through a pregnancy, and very much care must be taken with her so, I am not giving her physical punishments, any suggestions? besides the obvious, putting her in the corner

Guest 8: Usually by the sound of her voice and the quickness of her mind

THRVGloryB: Are you seeking real punishments or playful ones?

Guest 9: real. Not for pleasure for actual punishments

THRVGloryB: My rule of thumb is to select something I know the slave finds excruciatingly boring and uncomfortable.

Guest 9: by the way, we talk and discuss everything, this is a need for her as well

Tnkrbell77: (blush)

THRVGloryB: A few weeks ago, for example, instead of punishing my slave with pain (which he likes all too well)...I tied him tightly to a chair, leaving one hand free, and making him write out, 500 times, that he'll never be late again. I put extremely shoes on his feet (tightly) and...oh, yes, I made him wear a Barbie party hat.

Guest 9: lol

Guest 2: Cool! Writing that one down.

Tnkrbell77: (squirming)

Guest 9: ewww

Guest 3: LMAO

Guest 14: oh my....

THRVGloryB: He did NOT enjoy it.

Guest 4: LOL!

Guest 13: LOL

THRVPashun: ahhh Tnk! :)

Guest 1: <---------glad my Mistress didn't see that one

THRVGloryB: Of course, he was hard as a rock for weeks afterwards remembering how ridiculous and uncomfortable it all was.

Guest 15: lol

Guest 3: hmmm

Guest 9: I would also like to thank you, from all of us out here, that your books help us with so much

Tnkrbell77: It was REAL punishment.

THRVGloryB: Yes, poor tink. How he suffers.

Guest 9: You are truly appreciated, and please continue to be there for us

THRVHoney: Guest2, you had a question?

THRVGloryB: I also gave him two other really strange punishments recently, come to think of it.

Tnkrbell77: <---shedding a tear in remembrance of that night :-)

Guest 13: <----agreeing with Guest9

Guest 14: lol

THRVPashun: oh do tell! :)

THRVGloryB: I "force fed" him a Viagra, teased him, but didn't let him cum.

Guest 2: I got booted before I got an answer.

Guest 15: omg

Guest 9: Viagra!! lololol

THRVPashun: Ohhhhhh!!!!

THRVGloryB: That was a highly youthening experience for the poor boy.

Guest 12: is that why he was hard for weeks?

Guest 2: I was asking, Glory, when you were a Professional, did you feel the subs were in control or you still retained some?

Guest 15: lol

Tnkrbell77: Indeed.

Guest 8: ?

THRVGloryB: The other punishment...we were driving along and I popped some tic-tacs into my mouth, then held them up and said, "Do you like wintergreen?" "No!" he said, making a face. So I dumped 4-5 of them into my hand and made him suck on them until they melted in his mouth.

Guest 2: LOL

Guest 15: lol

Guest 9: lol

THRVGloryB: He didn't like that very much either. But I did. :-)

Guest 1: :-)

THRVGloryB: Glad you asked, Pashun? :-) I'm a woman of a million perversions.

Tnkrbell77: (blushing)

Guest 9: lol

THRVPashun: You bet I am glad I asked! ;)

THRVGloryB: Okay, what's the next question or comment?

THRVHoney: Guest8, you are next

THRVGloryB: Guest8?

Guest 8: Are you joking about the Viagra? I think it is supposed to harden but has little relation to orgasm

Tnkrbell77: <---knows it was no joke :-)

THRVGloryB: Guest8, no I was not joking. The effect is as follows...not much of anything happens until you begin to have contact...then your testosterone flows like a young man's, and you get *extremely* hard. And, naturally, the urge to cum is quite powerful. It's an aphrodisiac. Tink--can you describe it for Guest8? Since it was (technically, anyway) your penis.

Guest 1: lol

Guest 2: LOL

Tnkrbell77: Well.... after it was hard...it just STAYED that way!!

THRVGloryB: Awww. Isn't that a shame. Tsk, tsk. Did it stay that way for very long?

Tnkrbell77: It didn't feel any different than normal.. just stayed that way for 2 hrs or so.

Guest 1: was it a different kinda hard ?

Guest 11: GloryB is the aphrodisiac not the Viagra.!!!!

THRVGloryB: And was it very long when it stayed that way?

Tnkrbell77: and kept coming back for several more.

Guest 3: omg LOL

Guest 1: :-)

THRVGloryB: Thank you, Guest11. We older women have to try harder.

Guest 3: try harder? for what?

Tnkrbell77: Do you mean long in size Mistress?

THRVGloryB: Total world domination, Guest3. ;-)

Guest 8: ? Would you believe I got knocked off line just before you answered Ms. Brame

THRVPashun: World domination?

Guest 6: ?

Guest 1:

Guest 3: Not at all true, Ms Gloria - You (older women) have the world at Your hands - as I see it

THRVGloryB: Tink, did you feel hornier than usual with the Viagra pumping through your plump and able member?

Guest 8: ?

Tnkrbell77: Yes!!!!!!

THRVGloryB: Yes,Guest8? Tink's trying to answer your question.

Tnkrbell77: I definitely did.

Guest 1: :-) Tink

Tnkrbell77: Once excited.. I stayed that way. And Mistress made "certain" that I was excited.

THRVGloryB: Guest8? Guest6? Did either of you have questions?

Guest 6: does dressing a man in fem clothes excite some females

THRVGloryB: Yes, Guest6, it does.

THRVPashun: We have time for one more question tonight :)

THRVGloryB: Are you interested in cross dressing?

Guest 8: I seem to remember that you mentioned coming to NY in June. Is there a public appearance involved?

Guest 13: !

THRVGloryB: No, Stanly, I'm just going to come up for Leather Pride. Do you know what that is?

THRVPashun: Guest13...you can have the last comment for the evening :)

Guest 6: yes I am another fantasy

Guest 13: do you plan to make a trip to the Seattle area

THRVGloryB: Is this a dinner invitation? ;-)

Tnkrbell77: lol

THRVPashun: :)

Guest 15: ::clears my throat::

Guest 13: I wish it could be...but my interest is in your talks

THRVGloryB: Oh, darn, I was afraid you only wanted me for my mind. ;-) No, no plans to be in Seattle but I will probably be in SF in the next 4-6 months.

THRVPashun: But what a mind, Glory! :)

Guest 8: You could have dinner on me any time Ms. Brame!

THRVGloryB: Yes, Pashun, scary isn't it? :-)

THRVPashun: LOL :)

THRVGloryB: Thank you, Guest8. But I'm an expensive date.

THRVPashun: Folks...I am sorry, but our time together is up for the evening! Please come back next Sunday night at 11 :)

Guest 8: I would throw caution to the wind!

THRVPashun: Thank you so much, Glory! :)

THRVGloryB: My kind of guy! :-)

Guest 3: I'm so glad we had this time together....

Guest 6: bye Glory

THRVPashun: Goodnight all! :) You were a great room! :)

THRVGloryB: Goodnight, all! Thanks for coming, and for all your great conversation!