TOPICS

Auto-Fellatio
"Different Loving" GloryB's Web Site
Safe Words--Verbal/Non Verbal
The Importance of Trust and Honesty in a Dom/Sub relationship
Satisfying One's Curiosity about BDSM
Beginning a Dom/Sub relationship

THRVBuja: Greetings everyone! Please join me in welcoming Gloria Brame (

THRVGloryB)...

THRVBuja: Gloria, nice to see you again... and it was wonderful having dinner with you the other night!

Guest 1: good to have you Gloria

THRVBuja: Gloria will be here for the next hour to answer all your questions about BDSM and kink of all kinds!

Guest 2: ?

THRVBuja: Take it away Glory!

THRVGloryB: Thanks, Buja (and thanks also for that..um...business meeting) :-) I'm not sure exactly what Buja wants me to take away...But I am happy to see you all here tonight. Welcome all!

THRVBuja: God I wish I had more business meetings like that! ;)

THRVGloryB: I see we already have a question, so...Guest2? Want to go ahead?

THRVBuja: I think I see a question...

THRVPashun: Guest2, please go ahead

THRVGloryB: Buja--I'll see if that can be arranged.

Guest 2: is it wrong to want to suck on your own penis?

THRVBuja: <-- racking his brain for the BDSM angle on this :)

Guest 1: you are a more flexible guy than me Guest2

THRVGloryB: Uhhhhh..... :-)

THRVBuja: Did we fluster the esteemed GloryB? :)

THRVPashun: Guest2, you might want to visit our Sexuality Salon with our Sex Experts :)

Guest 3: ?

THRVGloryB: Nothing sexual is "wrong" (unless it is non-consensual)....

THRVGloryB: since you are doing it with yourself, one assumes you've consented to your partner. But as Guest1 points out--it takes a pretty flexible spine!

Guest 1: Glory..beautiful philosphy

Guest 3: gloria, thx for your books, when is sub women speak due out?

THRVPashun: Guest3, please go ahead :)

THRVGloryB: Fluster me? Au contraire, Buja: I was just trying to visualize it... and got lost in the pleasant daydream for a moment. :-) There's a famous porn actor, Ron Jeremy, who's big claim to fame is his ability to suck his own penis

THRVBuja: Ron Jeremy, yes I know him....

Guest 1: GLory...for me I always prefer have some assistance with that

THRVGloryB: Guest 3: you'll have to ask Jon and Polly about that one! :-)

THRVBuja: His nickname is The HedgeHog.

THRVGloryB: I have no affiliation with that book at all. The HedgeHog? The elephant would be more like it!

THRVPashun: LOL

THRVBuja: I think it has to do with all the fur.

Guest 3: LOL, ok thanks, my misunderstanding.

THRVGloryB: Who ever noticed the hair on his body??

THRVBuja: But, Guest3, if you haven't read Gloria's Different Loving, you really should. It is wonderful. Well, you can't help but notice it on his rather large butt.

Guest 3: I have it, read it, great book Glory.

THRVGloryB: Guest1--you like to keep the "service" in "oral service," eh? :-)

Guest 1: just bought it today Gloria..hope you don't mind that I bought it used Gloria..isn't service what life is all about ??

THRVGloryB: Guest 1: WHAT? I feel so used! ;-) Now that is an interesting philosophy,

Guest1. Care to expand?

THRVPashun: Folks, don't be shy...Glory is here just for YOU :)

Guest 1: ???

THRVGloryB: AHEM! Well, Pashun, darling, let's not make me sound too much like a public utility. :-)

Guest 4: ?

THRVPashun: I meant for questions :) LOL

THRVBuja: Glory is very selective about her... utilities.

THRVPashun: Guest1, please go ahead:)

Guest 1: can I be direct GLoria? I havent read your book yet but is your interest academic or first hand so to speak

THRVGloryB: Whew. Thanks for the clarification. (adjusting leather miniskirt)

THRVPashun: Guest4 you are next after Guest 1:)

Guest 1: Hey..I work for a public utility

THRVBuja: And Glory does look *very* good in a leather miniskirt! ;)

Guest 4: can a safe word be non-verbal?

Guest 2: ?

THRVBuja: Guest 1: can I be direct GLoria? I havent read your book yet but is your interest academic or first hand so to speak

THRVGloryB: You haven't read my book...or visited my website, I see. :-)

Guest 2: A personal question for the author...are you strait or bi?

Guest 5: lol

THRVGloryB: Buja, are you enjoying repeating that particular question? :-)

Guest 1: going to punish me ??? pretty please?

THRVBuja: Sorry, just trying to be helpful :)

THRVPashun: folks...please wait until Glory has a chance to answer the question :)

THRVGloryB: Guest 1: I'm a sadomasochist. A cheerful sadomasochist, I might add. :-) I'm also a writer/journalist. So I decided to write about what I knew. I've been "out" in the Scene about 11+ years. But I (and my co- authors, all of whom are also SMers) did try to write the most objective and seriously researched book we could.

THRVPashun: Guest4, could you please ask your question again?:)

Guest 4: can a safe word be non verbal

THRVGloryB: Okay! Guest4, you're next, I believe. Yes, you can have a "safe signal." Example: if you have your partner in bondage, with a gag, you might give him/her something noisy to hold in his/her hand, to shake if things start to push a limit. Some doms use other signals (like head or eye movements)

Guest 1: ??..since we don't seem to hhave many questioners

THRVGloryB: Guest 2: I am heterosexual when it comes to sexual things but "bi- kinky" (which means I might also dominate a woman, should the whim arise. )

THRVPashun: Guest2, go right ahead with your question :)

THRVPashun: Guest1, you may ask your question :)

THRVGloryB: Guest1--say, I thought you were dominant! Sheesh!

Guest 4: ?

Guest 1: Glory..any advice on satisfying your curiosity when your spouse thinks its nuts?

THRVGloryB: That depends on just how much satisfaction it takes to slake your curiosity. :-)

Guest 1: follow up

THRVGloryB: If all you're looking for is a window on this world, there are literally thousands of Websites you could visit, which cover the gamut of SM/fetish sexuality. However, if you seek real-life experience, then you have to decide whether your marriage could withstand your need to experiment.

Guest 3: ?

THRVPashun: queue after Guest1...Guest4 and Guest3

Guest 1: well the D/s rooms here are very interesting and as you know its possible to be an online D/s...how should one proceed with in the cyber world?

THRVGloryB: I always recommend that you try to enlighten your partner first and to have frank discussions. Offering her books to read about the subject might help

Guest 4: what do you do if your dom doesn't listen to your safe word

Guest 1: good idea

THRVGloryB: Inviting her to come with you on-line sometime to see for herself that the people doing this are normal (or relatively normal ) might at least give you some good conversation starters.

Guest 1: tried that

THRVGloryB: Guest4, that is a VERY serious question! Doms who give you safe words but then ignore you when you use them are (not to put too fine a point on it) DANGEROUS and UNTRUSTWORTHY. Guest4, have you or a friend had such an experience?

Guest 4: a friend

THRVGloryB: Is that friend still serving that dominant?

Guest 4: she liked BDSM until that time now she is afraid to go back to or trust anyone that is in BDSM

THRVGloryB: Well, that is certainly understandable. It's a profound violation of trust, and the intimate contract between the two, when a dom refuses to play by the terms s/he agreed to. Personally, I am quite ambivalent about using safe words precisely for that reason. Some submissives are lulled into a false sense of security, that as long as they have a safeword they can trust people they don't know that well.

Guest 4: I am new to BDSM and because of what happened to her I am afraid to try it in some ways

THRVGloryB: Guest4, I can understand that. But the dom who ignored your friend's

Guest 6: ?

THRVGloryB: safeword is the exception, not the rule. The lesson to be learned from this, really, is KNOW THY PARTNER. A dominant should EARN the sub's trust. Actually, I recently posted a set of guidelines for people who are playing with others for the very first time. The URL: http://gloria-brame.com/domidea/playsafe.htm

Guest 7: !

Guest 3: any suggestions for pacing a scene, balancing pain and arousal? and when enough is enough? especially if the sub won't or can't say "when"

THRVPashun: Guest7, go ahead with your comment...

Guest 4: she did she did know him for a month before doing any thing with him

Guest 7: I always suggest to new people that they be sure that their dominant or top will respect the word "No" before they start playing around with resistance play where "No" means something else and then you add safeword play when you know you can trust

THRVGloryB: Guest7, absolutely right on that.

THRVGloryB: Guest4, did she "know" him on-line, or did she play with him for a month?

Guest 1: thanks Guest7

THRVBuja: Point very well taken Guest7!

Guest 4: she met him online then they met publicly for about a week before they did anything

Guest 8: omg

THRVGloryB: So she only met him once before playing with him?

Guest 4: I think 2 times

THRVGloryB: Again, I really recommend you take a look at the piece I put on my website. It covers all this.

Guest 4: I will

THRVPashun: Glory, would you like Guest3 to ask the question again?

THRVGloryB: Thanks, Pashun, but I've got it here on my screen.

THRVPashun: ok :)

THRVBuja: Glory is ever versatile :)

THRVGloryB: Guest3--my first question back to you is whether you want advice on pacing a scene with someone you play with regularly or someone totally new. Obviously, the better you know someone, the more you can push.

Guest 3: this is a new in love relationship, we are living together, and both into D/s but also beginners, this is very HOT stuff and I don't want to crash n burn.

THRVGloryB: Thanks, Pashun...I think I'm actually starting to get the hang of this. :-)

THRVGloryB: Ah! First, congrats. How nice! I love to hear about loving relationships. Since you do have a long-term relationship, I think your best bet is to build the foundation for trust slowly and very solidly. That means that you experiment very slowly. For example, you might not want to give her (assuming she's the sub ) everything she necessarily wants the first few times.

Guest 3: btw, she is here online, Guest9, on her own computer, so how do we resist the temptation to just go balls to the walls?

Guest 8: ?

THRVGloryB: Uhhh...DEFINITELY. :-)

Guest 10: ?

THRVGloryB: A little frustration isn't bad for a subbie.

Guest 9: gee, thanks.

Guest 3: LOL, yep I agree :-)

THRVGloryB: Come to think of it, a LOT of frustration is kind of fun! (For the dom, I mean.)

Guest 7: balls to the walls? I like that idea

THRVGloryB: If we weren't on THRIVE I might make some inappropriate remark about nailing those balls to the walls but since we would never in any way wish to suggest such edgy activity in a HEALTH magazine... :-) Nailing your mouth shut?

THRVBuja: :::closing my eyes::: :::covering my delicate ears:::

Guest 1: so politic GLory

THRVBuja: Did I miss something someone said? No? Good!

THRVGloryB: (waving crop in dignified manner) Thank you, Guest1.

THRVGloryB: Guest3--I'm sure Guest9 will be delighted to hear this...but leaving a sub begging for more can be quite thrilling. I believe my own subs can attest to that. :-)

Guest 9: you're not helping me here, Glory.

THRVGloryB: That's because you didn't ask me a question, Guest9. I am just doing my level best to be supportive to your Master. :-)

THRVBuja: Little Domme to Dom bonding :)

Guest 3: oboy, Guest9 is in sooooo much trubble now! :-)

THRVGloryB: You know, Guest 3: a little whimpering, a little tearful pleading, many promises to be a good girl. That sort of thing is music to a dom's ears. Or as Julie Andrews sang, "These are a few of my favorite things!"

THRVPashun: Guest8, please go ahead with your question :)

Guest 3: thanx Glory.

THRVBuja: Good luck to both of you -- you sound great together!

THRVPashun: Guest10, you will be next after Guest 8:)

Guest 9: : ) thanks!

Guest 8: how can i incorporate my infantilism into a more mutual experience within my marriage?

Guest 3: Ditto :)

THRVGloryB: (Why do I get the feeling there will be a whole lot of begging ahead in Guest3 and Guest9's relationship?)

Guest 1: PASHUN..can you give me a link for this room?

THRVGloryB: Guest8, is your partner aware of your interest in diapers?

THRVBuja: Guest9 will be back next week!

Guest 8: yes..very much so

THRVGloryB: How does she (or he) feel about it?

THRVPashun: Guest1...I can help you find it again, but there is no link. Please send me email and I will help you:)

Guest 1: OK

THRVGloryB: (Maybe Guest9 will come back with a question about how to get her Master to let her cum more often.) :-)

Guest 8: she accepts and participates,but how can i get her to accept my aol obsession?

THRVBuja: You mean "come here" more often I am sure :)

THRVGloryB: What's the connection between your AOL obsession and your diaper fetish?

Guest 8: she feels that talking to other ab's on aol and looking at pictures is cheating on her?

THRVGloryB: Oh, why, of course, Buja! That's exactly what I meant. (rolling eyes)

THRVGloryB: Guest8, have you ever invited her to join you during on-line chats? Perhaps if she met some of your adult baby pals she wouldn't feel so threatened?

Guest 8: we have...but I have failed to keep it mutual..HER before THEM

THRVGloryB: Meaning that you spend more time on-line with the ABs than enjoying your wife's company? I think you probably already know that if a person is spending more time on-line with cyber-friends than with his or her spouse, the marriage needs to be examined.

Guest 8: YES...thats the problem..she feels I would rather be w/ them than her In what way?

THRVGloryB: What do you get from your on-line friends that you aren't getting from your partner? Generally speaking, Binky, if you find the on-line world more satisfying and exciting than your marriage, you need to find out how to make things more satisfying at home. The amount of time you spend on-line could be a signal that you need more than what your partner is giving you.

Guest 8: she's trying to understand it all,and i enjoy learning from other people I started counseling the otherday..hopefully it will put me on the right track..Thanks I'm done now

THRVGloryB: Okay, Guest8, very glad to hear it. May I just add one more comment, though?

Guest 8: yes?

THRVGloryB: Try to make sure your counselor is sympathetic to your fetish before you commit to that particular therapist.

Guest 1: ahhhh..crucial!

Guest 8: she is

THRVGloryB: Oh, good! That's great. It's such a tragedy when BDSMers visit a therapist who tries to "cure" them of their sexuality.

THRVPashun: Guest10, please go right ahead :)

Guest 10: What do you think about a man that wants to watch his girlfriend have intercourse with another man?

THRVGloryB: Hi, Guest10. I think that if the man in question, his girlfriend, and the 2nd man ALL agree that this would be exciting then it's perfectly acceptable

Guest 10: hi. What if the girlfreind isnt ready for something like that

THRVGloryB: If she isn't ready, then her limits should be respected. I hear occasionally from dominants who assume that because someone is submissive s/he MUST accept polyamory.

Guest 10: Do you think relationships are based on sex? hmm

THRVGloryB: In my opinion, adult sex is all about MUTUAL CONSENT.

Guest 10: that makes sense some people say it just means the guy doenst really care for you

THRVPashun: Ladies and gentlemen, we have time for only one more question! Any takers?:)

THRVGloryB: I think sex is a crucial component of an intimate adult relationship.

Guest 9: ?

THRVGloryB: Guest10, nah. Some people are turned on by threesomes and voyeurism, etc. There is nothing evil or sleazy in that. Again, it all comes down to mutual consent, mutual pleasure, in the act.

THRVPashun: Guest9, you've got it! :)

Guest 10: yep

Guest 11: ?

Guest 9: what's your best advice for a sub about to embark on a 24/7 relationship? (and I WILL come next week :)

THRVGloryB: Uh-Oh! Guest9 is gunning for me! :-)

THRVBuja: come here or cum next week?

Guest 9: lol

THRVPashun: ahem :) hahaha

THRVGloryB: The best advice is: BE HONEST. The worst thing any sub can do is to keep secrets from his/her dominant. This ranges from going along with something that makes you unhappy just "to please" your dominant, to hiding things about yourself or your past, because you think your dom won't love you as much if he "knew the real you."

Guest 3: I can't stop her from coming, I growl and she comes...

Guest 11: complaining Red Crow???

Guest 3: Nope. not me. not ever.

Guest 10: is sex a game seems like just a game to some

Guest 11: lol

THRVGloryB: A sub should be able to trust her dom with the absolute truth. And a dom should take that trust as the ultimate gift and not abuse it. Thus spake Glorathustra. :-)

Guest 9: hear that, Guest3? Thanks Glory.

Guest 3: yup

THRVBuja: Oh, you kids :)

Guest 1: LMAO...can hear the music now GLoria

THRVGloryB: (But you still might not be able to "come here" next week.)

Guest 11: mite be able to come...but not sit

Guest 9: I'm not above begging.

THRVGloryB: Begging is good!

Guest 3: on yer knees beloved wench.

Guest 10: Is sex a game then?

THRVGloryB: Guest3--that reminds me of an old Woody Allen joke..."my wife could come at the drop of a hat....unfortunately, I never wore a hat to bed."

Guest 3: Yessss?

Guest 10: lol

THRVPashun: LOL

Guest 3: ojeeez...

Guest 9: ROFL

THRVBuja: And, on that note... that's about all we have time for tonight...

Guest 11: pssst...Guest9? Better buy Guest3 a hat soon!

THRVGloryB: <---has MANY hats.

Guest 9: lol

Guest 10: lol

THRVBuja: Thank you for joining us...Glory will be back to answer more of your questions...next week, and impart more of her Glorathustra wisdom.

THRVPashun: Another wonderful hour, Glory and Buja! Thank you! :)

Guest 10: when'

THRVGloryB: Ciao, all! This chat went by so FAST! I thank you all for coming!

Guest 12: thanks Glory

Guest 3: thanks Glory, see ya next week, I got a serious question for ya. bye

THRVGloryB: Guest7, nice to see ya again.

Guest 1: pleasure to have you GLoria

THRVBuja: Thank you Glory, and special thanks to Pashun.

Guest 7: you too Glory :)