TOPICS

Introducing One's Partner into Bondage
Deaf People on the BDSM Scene?
Info For New Doms/Subs
Safety When Travelling with Equipment
Places to Avoid or Proceed with Caution due to Legal Statutes

THRVBuja: Good evening everyone, and welcome to our weekly chat with Gloria Brame. We will be discussing BDSM, fetishes, and kinks of all kinds. You are free to talk among yourselves, but if you have a question or comment for Gloria, please use protocol. Welcome Glory. Good to see you again!

THRVGloryB: Hey, there Buja. And hello to all who've come here tonight. I hope you've brought your questions and thoughts about SM and fetishes for us to talk about tonight.Would anyone like to get us started by asking a question?

Guest2: ?

THRVGloryB: Ah. I see a taker!

THRVPashun: Please go ahead, Guest2

THRVGloryB: Guest2, did you have a question?

Guest2: my mate doesnt like to be tied but i love to be tied. what can i do to interest her slowly in this?

THRVGloryB: Are you trying to get her tie you up to do you want her to submit to bondage?

Guest2: tie me

THRVGloryB: How have you tried to approach it in the past? Also, when you say she doesn't like to be tied, does that mean she REALLY doesn't like it, or doesn't understand why you'd like it?

Guest2: i have tried self bondage and let her discover me tied and i think she doesnt understand why i like it

THRVGloryB: Well, that is a rather direct approach! :-)

THRVBuja: Guest2, that might not have been the most subtle way of approaching this :)

THRVGloryB: Have you ever tried talking to her about it, in a less charged environment--like before you go to sleep or over dinner, at some point when she isn't confronted with the visuals of bondage?

Guest2: sure and she has participated in tying me before but does not seem to maintain an interest

THRVGloryB: It can be quite a shock for a partner to walk in and find someone in bondage (or in a dress, or in any other SM/fetish circumstance) Let me ask you--when she's got you all tied up, what happens next? Does she play with your body or have sex with you?

Guest2: i get rock hard and she sometimes smirks and usually wants to untie me immediately

THRVGloryB: But is she interested in taking full advantage of that rock hardness?

THRVBuja: "Smirks"?

THRVGloryB: She may not yet realize that there is something she can get out of tying you up. If she thinks of it only as something she is doing for you and you alone, it's no surprise she isn't too enthusiastic. If you could help her to see that she could get sexual pleasure out of it she might be a LOT more interested. When she unties you, is to have sex with you? Or just so she can put an end to it?

Guest3: ?

THRVGloryB: Yes, BUJA, some of us DO smirk when we have men helplessly tied up. :-) I realize this must come as a shock to you.

Guest2: she gets a foot rub and usually sex but the thrill is over for me about bondage

THRVBuja: I usually hope for that look of awe, not smirking :)

THRVGloryB: So she ties you up in exchange for a foot rub? How about if you upped the ante, and suggested that if she kept you tied up longer, you'd give her oral service. Better still, what if you offered to give oral service WHILE she had you tied up? I don't know too many women who'd really HATE that. :-)

THRVBuja: "Oral service?" Is that an option at the gas pumps in Georgia? :)

Guest4: <---believes the last idea is the best yet.

THRVPashun: LOL

THRVGloryB: Ah, so the frisky Guest4 makes an appearance.

Guest2: that is great but can you tell when they really like it or just tolerate i it

THRVBuja: I KNOW that self-service is illegal!

Guest4: :-)

THRVGloryB: Who needs self-service when there are so many willing slaves? Guest2, did you ever consider inviting your friend to a chat group like this?

Guest2: not yet

THRVBuja: Or sending her over to Kinky Pleasures so she can read more about it?

THRVGloryB: Where she can meet other normal people who find kinky sex exciting and intimate? The big step for many kink-friendly but totally novice people (which sounds like your friend, as she obviously is willing to experiment) is being able to understand that normal, healthy people do these things.

Guest2: you mean let her find out ive been reading up without her?!

THRVGloryB: And that if you see it as another exciting possibility for a widely varied sex life, you can really live life to the fullest.

THRVBuja: If she sees that there are many, many other folks into this, it might reassure her. Why Glory looks positively "wholesome" :)

THRVGloryB: I am WHOLESOME! I'm the wholest person I know. ;-)

THRVGloryB: Guest2--LOL! Precisely! Mentor her into this lovely world of ours. Let her know it can be a loving, healthy direction for you both. And not just some weird little secret kink you feel ashamed about.

THRVBuja: Tell her "Look what I just stumbled upon" kind of like what guys say about Baywatch!

Guest2: ill try that and let others talk a while thanks

THRVGloryB: Cool, Guest2. Let us know how it goes!

THRVPashun: Guest3, go right ahead with your question:)

Guest3: Is there a significant number of deaf people in the scene? Any formalized groups?

THRVGloryB: Hi, Guest3. Actually, yes, there are quite a few deaf people in the Scene. I may be mistaken, but I believe there are groups for deaf gay leathermen. I'm unaware of any for hets. But I do know some of the people who surf my site are deaf. (Though they may not advertise it widely.)

Guest5: ?

Guest3: yes there is but Im more interested in couples who are in D/s

Guest6: Queernet has a webpage for deaf scene

Guest3: Guest6 all I found was Deaf Queer not reall my kink

THRVGloryB: Guest3, I only know one couple personally. Did you ever hear of the fetish photographer Todd Friedman? His wife, an artist, is deaf.

Guest3: no I didnt

THRVGloryB: I met her and I believe another couple with one partner who's deaf at a meeting of Threshold (in Los Angeles) some years back.

Guest7: !

Guest6: Guest3, perhaps they could point you towards other groups

THRVGloryB: Ah! The Lovely, Guest7 is in our midst! Perhaps she has more info for you?

THRVPashun: Guest7, you have a comment?

Guest7: She should contact Jan HAll in Columbus, OH

Guest3: what about those PEP meetings or others do they provide interpreters?

THRVGloryB: Guest7, how can she find Jan?

THRVPashun: Guest5, you are next after Guest3:)

Guest7: she should email me for Jan's email address

Guest5: Thank you

Guest3: ok I will Guest7

THRVGloryB: Thanks, Pashun--let's see if we can find Guest3 someone to talk to.

Guest5: Guest3..are you finished?

THRVGloryB: Guest3, you could also try writing to Todd's wife.

THRVPashun: certainly, Gloria:)

Guest3: you have her email address?

THRVGloryB: Perhaps she would have some insights for you on her experience. I have her website listed on my pages. Scroll to the bottom of http://gloria-brame.com/love7.htm. There you'll see her credited for the lovely SM-theme rubber stamp art she creates. You can link to her from there.

THRVBuja: The thing is that the disability community is only just beginning to organize around sexuality rights. I might have some info for you. If you'd like, send me an email.

Guest7: i would have to do a search - if you email me the request, i will answer you

Guest3: ok thanks all Il check it out. All done

Guest5

THRVPashun: Guest5, go right ahead:)

Guest5: Thank you Guest3

THRVGloryB: Great! Okay, Guest5, do you have a question?

Guest5: Gloria..much info is written for new subs..do you have any infor for a new, and willing to learn..Dom?

Guest8: my wife fantasizes about being with another woman sexually-is it unusual for this to excite me?

THRVGloryB: BTW--BUJA, I believe I have a link to a site specifically for the disabled folks in our community.

THRVBuja: Glory, you are always ahead of me :)

Guest8: should i be worried?

THRVPashun: Guest8...we'll get to you after Guest5:)

THRVGloryB: Good question, Guest5. Actually, there are books which address this very subject. First, SCREW THE ROSES, SEND ME THE THORNS by Phil Miller and Molly Devon explore the male dom/fem sub relationship with how-to and safety info. THE LOVING DOMINANT by John Warren takes a male perspective on the whole subject of BDSM. perspective.

Guest8: sorry

THRVPashun: no problem:)

Guest5: My husband just learned of my kink after 15 years together..

THRVGloryB: I believe SM: A REALISTIC INTRODUCTION by Jay Wiseman similarly provides a (hetero) male dom

THRVBuja: John Warren is fairly active here on AOL, both on the Kinky Pleasures bulletin board and elsewhere, you might want to ask for advice there as well.

Guest7: !

THRVBuja: As is Jay Wiseman! :)

THRVGloryB: Guest7 has a comment?

THRVPashun: Go ahead Guest7:)

Guest7: The Topping Book by CAtherine Lizst and Dossie Eason a companion to the "The Bottoming Book"

Guest9: ?

THRVGloryB: LEARNING THE ROPES by Race Bannon too. But I think the first three really focus on male dom/fem sub relationships.

Guest5: I've read both..however..id like some advice as to how to acclimate him into the world.. as he is willing to explore

THRVGloryB: OH! Hang on! You're a woman! Yeeek! You want a book for femdoms? DUH! My apologies. A quite different reading list! :-)

Guest5: yes..im the sub in question..

THRVBuja: Glory, I guess this time you were *behind* me :)

THRVGloryB: With a strap-on, Buja.

Guest5: he found out that i was sub and want to learn more

THRVPashun: Could be interesting, Buja:)

Guest7: LOL

Guest5: ::laughing::

THRVBuja: <<>> Must be the strap on!

Guest5: ::cracking up:::

THRVGloryB: (fluttering dominant eyelashes) Okay, check out those books. Also, Guest5, there are TONS of on-line resources. I have a set of links to masters' pages and groups for male doms/fem subsmany many of those sites offer friendship and BDSM advice for male doms.There are also a couple of on-line groups, such as LA SOCIETE LIBERTAINE POWEROTICS, and THE ROSE AND THORN GUILD, which are male dom/femsub membership societies.

Guest5: <~~fairly well known here online He has been exploring ::im very lucky!::

Guest5: any hands on tips ::smiling:: I can find them where? Where can i get this please

THRVGloryB: The support is really temendous. You can find the masters and femsubs links listed in my (free) catalogue, under Kinky People: http://gloria-brame.com/people.htm. The friendship groups with a male-dom orientation are listed on the ABCS of D&S links page: http://gloria-brame.com/abcs.htm

Guest5: thank you..and great book..saved my sanity..

THRVBuja: If you click on Glory's picture, you will also find a direct link to her website.

THRVGloryB: Saved your sanity? Really? Cost me mine. :-)

Guest5: ::laughing:: *

THRVGloryB: Buja, how's the strap on working?

Guest9: hello any dominatrix here to night i would like to be able to im them

THRVBuja: Uh Mistress, can we do this when I'm not working -- hard to type you know :)

THRVPashun: Guest8 has left us..so Guest9, you are up next! :)

THRVGloryB: Well, perhaps if you tried using your HANDS to type...

THRVGloryB: Guest9 wants to IM with any dominatrix.

THRVPashun: ahhhh:)

THRVGloryB: Unfortunately, I'm not just any dominatrix.

Guest7: LOL

THRVBuja: No that's true... have strap-on will travel! :)

THRVPashun: ROFL!

THRVGloryB: I never travel without my whips and canes!

Guest6: ?

THRVBuja: Must get you some funny looks at customs!

THRVPashun: Guest6, please ask you question:)

Guest6: I'd like to ask about travelling with toys, do you have any hints for us? how to pack, what to tell the nice man behind the xray machine? How to keep liquidlatex from leaking? Violet wands: scientific experimental device?

THRVGloryB: Buja, it's been known to arouse *more* than just the agents' interest.

THRVBuja: Glory, when you are done, I have to make a comment on this.

THRVGloryB: I try to travel light, actually. I used to carry all my metal stuff with me back and forth to Missouri (before Will and I were married) I never got stopped but MAN was it heavy! These days, I take a very practical approach to domming on the road. I carry only lightweight stuff--canes, whips, etc, I make do with old-fashioned rope for bondage, which can be purchased for cheap wherever I am. As best I can tell, that girl travels with an SM armory! Guest6, I actually feel like throwing this question out to Lolita, because I truly keep it light--of course, I usually travel to NY and when there. I usually stay with my "little girl" who has PLENTY of stuff.

Guest7: I don't carry my toys on - I check them thru and have not had any problems. It is not a good idea to bring knives or handcuffs as carry on

THRVGloryB: Guest6, I understand you know my NY sissy, so you may already know she is equipped. At least as far as SM eqpt. goes.

THRVBuja: Glory, you might want to define Sissy for some of those here.

THRVGloryB: Guest7, good point! NO KNIVES! Bad, naughty! Not on planes.

Guest6: um, yes, I am familiar with her . . .equipment :)

Guest11:

THRVGloryB: What little there is of it, right, Guest6? :-)

Guest7: I have not had trouble checking knives thru however

THRVGloryB: BUJA, darling, you want me to tell you all about the wonderful world of sissies? Hmmm. And that strap-on is still in place? (raising eyebrows). HM!

Guest6: Guest7, what about violet wands? will I get questioned on that? I don't want to check it

THRVBuja: No Glory, for the sake of our newcomers only thank you :)

THRVGloryB: Oh, yes, of course, "for the newbies," sure. Uh-huh.

THRVBuja: Violet Wands were developed for medical purposes... you can easily say they are for muscular rehab.

Guest7: most modern violet wands are packed in a gun case they may want to open it up and look at it

Guest10: Guest6, actually you should have no trouble getting a violet wand through. I just carried one from Miami to Atlanta.

THRVGloryB: There is nothing illegal about a violet wand. Weapons and restraints might create a problem or too.

Guest7: violet wands are sold by beauty supply stores for use as skin therapy

Guest6: good enough, I'll tell them that. thanks :)

THRVBuja: *But* just so you know, knives and handcuffs are definately illegal to carry on, and dildos and vibrators are...illegal in Georgia.

Guest1: what is a violet wand?

THRVGloryB: And in Texas, I believe.

THRVPashun: Anything but the missionary position is illegal in Georgia, Buja:)

THRVGloryB: A violet wand is an electrical device, Guest1.

Guest10: LOL.. Eeek!!! Wonder how that would look on an arrest warrant?

THRVPashun: LOL, Guest10:)

THRVGloryB: Now, for the newbies in the room (blink)...a sissy is a transvestite. That's the short explanation. :-)

Guest11: don't wonder, Guest10....Hardwick v. Bowers went to the Supreme Court...Hardwick, involved in sodomy, lost

THRVGloryB: Guest10, they'll bust you for sodomy.

THRVBuja: Glory, I am getting questions about what exactly a violet wand is. Can you explain more?

THRVGloryB: In Georgia, anything that is not heterosexual intercourse is considered sodomy.

Guest10: :::shaking head::: Ya know.. sometimes I think those people in Justus Montana had it right.

THRVBuja: Nope, they'll bust you on "posession of obscene devices"

THRVGloryB: Oral sex, dildoes, gay anything--all prosecutable offenses.

THRVBuja: Dildos fall under the obscenity statute.

Guest10: Well then call the police folks.. cuz I belong on the Top Ten Most Wanted..

THRVGloryB: How about if Guest6 explains her lovely toy? Guest6, would you mind?

THRVBuja: I just testified in one of these cases. We lost :(

Guest7: ?

Guest4: Guest11.. and it was later revealed that Bowers (the attorney general had a ten yr affair with staffer)

Guest11: yep. didn't help Bowers any, though er, Hardwick, rather

Guest4: and he's running for governor.

THRVGloryB: I've played with wands but I don't own one myself.

Guest10: The people who shriek the loudest about "perversions" are usually the ones with the the highest heels in their closets.

Guest11: hey!

THRVGloryB: Guest6--or Guest7? Could either of you describe your violet wands for some of the folks, please? Thanks!

Guest6: yes

Guest4: Guest10.. lol... love it.

Guest7: yes but i defer to Guest6

THRVGloryB: Take it away, Guest6! :-)

Guest6: a violet wand generates a static charge, it simply shocks you, like petting the cat and rubbing your feet on the carpet :) But much much stronger with a variable control for the sissies, um I mean the pain wimps among us

Guest12: ?

THRVBuja: For the more techically inclined, it is like a VanderGraff Generator.

Guest7: it is the only electrical toy that is safe to use above the waist

THRVPashun: After Guest6, queue is Guest7 and Guest12:)

THRVGloryB: Guest12, if it's a question about wands, go ahead.

Guest7: but keep away from the eyes

Guest6: yes, because the static charge travels on the surface of the skin also avoid metal on the body with it done

THRVGloryB: Otherwise, Ms. Pashun will take your ? in order.

Guest12: no

THRVPashun: :)

Guest10: And for those that watch horror movies.. it's like the ball in Frankensteins Lab.. you can get a tan from prolonged use

THRVPashun: Guest7, go right ahead:)

THRVGloryB: Merci beaucoup, Guest6!

Guest4: sounds VERY exciting!

Guest7: Q = How does a place like Sanctuaru or PEP in atlanta get around the law?

THRVGloryB: Guest10--I have a motto: "the straighter the suit, the kinkier the man" :-) Guest7, it seems to be a case of benign neglect.

Guest7: so it is not enforced

THRVGloryB: The cops are undoubtedly aware of its existence but the only times they've busted anyone, in the 6 yrs. I've lived here, is when there is evidence that prostitution is involved.Prostitution, to the law around here, seems to mean full nudity in exchange for money.

THRVBuja: Probably because Bowers is also into S/M :)

Guest7: that is a differentlaw like bawdy house then

Guest14: Hi Glory!

THRVGloryB: So I know, for example, that a couple of prodommes got busted 2 yrs. ago for offering sex with their SM services.

THRVBuja: But, New York Supreme Court for example ruled that S/M for money is not prostitution.

THRVGloryB: Right, Guest7--that fact is that if we ever get a DA who thinks he needs some lurid PR to get elected, the SM clubs are (in my opinion, of course) going to be in jeopardy. And of course, SM venues with SM on-premises don't serve alcohol, so the booze licensing people don't breathe down their necks.

Guest10: Or it's selectively enforced like similar laws in Florida.

THRVGloryB: Guest7, Atlanta is a very schizophrenic and hypocritical place when it comes to the sex scene. I guess most places are, but it is really exaggerated here. On one hand, you can't find ANY real X- rated videos in stores. Some yrs. ago, a man went to jail for going down on his wife.There's a law on the book that you can't have sex with a chicken in Georgia! (giggle!) Meanwhile, the place is FULL of strip bars and "lingerie shops" which are, at best, thinly disguised brothels.

Guest13: During "sweeps week" 4 or 5 years ago, a television news crew went undercover into an Atlanta SM club It resulted in the place being busted and closed down. All for ratings ....

Guest4: What place was that?

Guest14: Gloria........ You are a Knockout! WoW!

THRVBuja: Glory, in case you missed it 9 1/2 weeks does sell x-rated videos... and they keep getting busted!

Guest14: Nice...... Pic

Guest10: Excuse me... am I am the lagging or are we having screen freezes?

Guest13: I forget the name Guest4 ...

THRVPashun: Guest12, you have the honor of asking the last question of the evening:) Please go ahead:)

Guest4: ok

THRVGloryB: Right, BUJA. 9 1/2 Weeks is the only place with guts. Guest14, thanks.

Guest14: ?

THRVBuja: That, and the fact that owner is a former bank robber! :)

Guest12: What was the argument you used in the case you testified in

Guest13: 9 1/2 gets bused for selling dildoes ...

Guest12: In a gist

Guest10: What?!! In Atlanta?!!!!

THRVGloryB: BUJA, I believe Guest12's question is for you.

Guest14: Love your eyes...are you married?

THRVBuja: Guest13, yes they do... I was the expert witness in that case too :)

THRVGloryB: I'm married to my perversions, Guest14.

THRVBuja: Oh, oops... "Medical Necessity" :)

Guest7: LOL

THRVGloryB: Medical necessity? Can you explain, BUJA?? Like, "If I don't get that dildo inside me RIGHT NOW, I'll die?"

THRVBuja: You should have seen the hysterics in the courtroom when...the DA asked me to read the dildo boxes to the courtroom!

Guest4: rofl

Guest10: LMAO!!!

Guest11: you don't want to go there

Guest13: what????

THRVBuja: This is actually not as kooky an idea as it sounds...the law does have a loophole for "perscriptions" :)

THRVGloryB: BUJA, you mean like those wonderful captions from 3d world countries which read "is good healthful device for massage legs?" Guest10: <~~~~ Thinkin.. hmmm what I wouldn't give for a cattle prod. : }~

THRVBuja: I just made the point that sex therapists don't have perscription priviledges yet are the most qualified to recommend the devices.

THRVBuja: No, like "f*** her and stimulate her like never before with the Penetrator!"

THRVBuja: Well folks, and special thanks to our time here is up...thanks for all the great questions...Glory and her "special treatment" :)

THRVGloryB: HOLY CANNOLI, Buja. You read that in court?!

Guest13: Yeah, Buju, you said that in court?

Guest7: Court has fewer restrictions than aol

Guest13: LOL!

THRVGloryB: What? You mean I have to stop now? (crushed)

THRVPashun: Thanks again Glory and Buja for a wonderful chat! :)

THRVBuja: Always leave them wanting more... isn't that right?

THRVGloryB: You got that right, Buja.

Guest7: good night - thanks

THRVPashun: Now I can't wait until NEXT Sunday! :)

Guest10: This was great... it's every Sunday?

THRVGloryB: Thanks to all for coming tonightHope to see you all next week! Every Sunday at 11, MM!! And for all your one-handed typing

THRVPashun: :)

THRVBuja: Guest6, unfortunately, we have another chat at 10pm.

THRVPashun: Big kisses to you Gloria and Buja:)

THRVGloryB: Guest6, maybe down the road, if there's enough feedback, our esteemed leader, Buja (you know, the one with the strap on behind him) might see his way to giving us another time.

THRVBuja: You could go to that one, but it is not quite the same :) Thank you Pashun for all your help... now could you get this thing out of my ass? :)

THRVGloryB: <-------thrrrrrrrrrrrrrup!

THRVPashun: my pleasure....now bend over please:)

Guest6: you didn't use the special barbed strap on?

THRVGloryB: You're free again of my evil charms, Buja.

THRVBuja: Whew