TOPICS

Submission: Need or Desire
Do Dominant People Ever Need to Feel Submissive
Fearing Disapproval
Denying Ones Need for D/S
Communicating Your Needs to Your Partner

Guest 1: so what happens in this room

THRVPashun: Guest1...this is our BDSM and Kink chat We have THRVGloryB here to answer questions and discuss issues :)

Guest 1: oh ok

THRVPashun: hiya Guest2! :)

Guest 2: hello

Guest 1: where do we start

THRVPashun: I hope you have all had a great week :) Guest1....we will get started once Glory arrives :)

Guest 1: ok had a excellent week

THRVPashun: Tink!!! :) Hiya! Glad to hear that Guest 1:)

Tnkrbell77: Hiya Pashun! :-)

THRVPashun: {{{{{Honey Pie}}}}} Glory will be here shortly :)

Guest 3: Hello

THRVHoney: Hiya, Guest3

THRVPashun: hiya Guest3!

THRVGloryB: How do, y'all.

Tnkrbell77: She's here!!

THRVPashun: Glory!!! ;) Hello dear one!

THRVGloryB: Why, hello, tink.

Guest 1: hello glory

THRVGloryB: Pashie-pie! How's my little sex kitten doing tonight?

Tnkrbell77: Hello Mistress.

THRVPashun: purrrrrrrrrrfect, Glory :)

THRVGloryB: Hello down there, Honey!

THRVHoney: {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Glory Pie}}}}}}}}}}}}}hahahaha

Guest 3: Hello Ms Glory, first time here

THRVGloryB: I see you too, Guest4.

THRVHoney: Oh my, looks like a full house tonight~

THRVGloryB: Hiya, Guest3. Welcome to our dungeon.

Guest 3: Thank you

THRVPashun: Ladies and gentlemen...it is my pleasure again to share the stage with the effervescent and exciting Glory!!!! :)

Guest 4: OOH! THANK YOU FOR NOTICING MS. BRAME!

THRVGloryB: Guest5, you big hunk of manhood, how are you tonight? Effervescent?

Guest 5: I have a headache, actually

THRVPashun: Please feel free to ask her your questions concerning BDSM and kink by typing a ? to the screen :) Our divine Honey will call on you :)

Guest 4: Sorry got excited ...didn't mean to shout.

THRVGloryB: Guest4, We approve of excitement. Isn't that right, Pash?

THRVPashun: oh yes, Glory!

THRVGloryB: Excitement is good for men. It causes blood to flow freely to their heads.

THRVHoney: I will call on everyone with their "?" up for questions and their "!" for comments

Guest 4: That is exactly what I need..I think..

THRVGloryB: Gee--I think I hear a little blood flowing right now. :-I

Guest 5: what about women...no blood flow is always the problem, I think.

THRVPashun: whooooooosh!

Guest 6: LOL

THRVGloryB: Guest4, what do you need? Guest5, the blood in our veins is ice. It doesn't flow. It proceeds slowly, like an iceberg.

THRVHoney: Ahem, NOT for this woman!

Guest 4: I was hoping you would tell me Ms. Brame...

THRVGloryB: Hey, Guest6! Welcome to our midnight soiree.

THRVGloryB: Guest 4: tonight I am the SM Oracle. Ask me anything.

Guest 6: thank You Ms Glory

THRVGloryB: <--donning black leather turban

THRVGloryB: Is your lovely Mistress joining us, Guest6?

Guest 6: I hope so Ma'am

THRVGloryB: Honey--does your blood flow like lava?

Guest 5: she makes my blood flow...

THRVGloryB: By the way, folks. Newcomers are WELCOME to jump right in!

THRVHoney: Only when I have my Guest5.....hehehehe

Guest 7: <===observing

THRVGloryB: Don't be shy. And don't feel insecure about asking questions.

THRVPashun: We are an equal opportunity perverted chat room :)

THRVGloryB: I hear honey drizzled on meat can be quite a taste sensation.

THRVHoney: Oh Guest7, you may have a question or comment eventually

THRVGloryB: So, Guest 4: remind me. What were you hoping I'd tell you?

Guest 7: I am sure I will...

THRVGloryB: Honey--it even qualifies as a kosher dish, doesn't it.

THRVHoney: Oh LOL......

THRVPashun: LOL :)

THRVHoney: <~~~~Blushing

THRVGloryB: Yes, folks: when we don't have audience questions we just improvise.

Guest 4: Well I was hoping to think of a way to inspire you to write a provocative autograph on my copy of "Domina"...as a start!

Guest 5: you didn't blush w/me earlier, Honey.

Tnkrbell77: ?

THRVGloryB: I suppose you could enclose a nude photo, Guest4. That could be inspiring.

THRVHoney: Tnk, your question?

Tnkrbell77: Do you consider SM a "need" or a "desire"?

THRVGloryB: Guest4--are you up to the task, so to speak?

Guest 4: Hmmmm...I'm not yet sure which pose would be best!

Guest 1: what kind of questions can we ask

THRVGloryB: Tink, how do you distinguish between the two. Guest1--anything about kinky sex--b&d, s&m, etc. Guest4, do you really want me to suggest a pose?

Guest 8: What is the chat?

THRVPashun: Guest8...this is a chat about BDSM and kink

Tnkrbell77: Well... I would think a need would be a visceral sort of thing one feels intensely... and a desire... sort of something you can take or leave but you like to experience. I have a hard time explaining.

Guest 7: !

THRVPashun: Guest7..please go ahead with your comment :)

Guest 4: I believe I would be if I felt your genuine interest

THRVGloryB: Tink, I guess I would use different language, but I understand what you mean.

Guest 7: I just wanted to say that the book "Different Loving" was the first book on D/s that I read..and I found it wonderful.. and I recommend it to
many that are just starting you in D/s.

THRVGloryB: So to go back to your original question...

Guest 4: ! I fear I'm a little down lately

THRVGloryB: Tnkrbell77: Do you consider SM a "need" or a "desire"? First, to answer personally: in myself, I consider it a need...or maybe not even exactly a need but a natural part of my sexuality. I don't feel sexually content without sm. I do know, however, that for many people it is not necessarily...a fundamental component of their sexuality, but something they enjoy exploring, for a variety of different reasons. For some people...it's just the pure variety and adventure of trying different sensations.. or maybe the thrill of doing something kinky (i.e., wild).

Guest 3: ?

Guest 6: <---has always felt that submissive WAS my sexuality...not a need or desire

THRVHoney: Guest3, you may ask your question, hun

THRVGloryB: Tink, do you think it's important to distinguish between the two kinds of approaches to SM? Guest7--thank you so much!

Guest 7: welcome

THRVPashun: Guest7...have you picked up DOMINA yet? :)

Tnkrbell77: When I think of the effect that SM has on me I think of it as a need (for me). as opposed to just kind of experimenting when the spirit moves us.

Guest 3: Do you find dominant people tend to have that need to be submissive?

THRVGloryB: Guest4--why are you feeling down?

THRVGloryB: Guest3, I think a very high percentage of people have feelings on both side. I know lots of submissives who have tried (and enjoyed) dominating others... even though they much prefer the submissive role.

Guest 7: no I have not

Tnkrbell77: My life is not on track without it.

THRVGloryB: Tink--do you think that's superior?

Tnkrbell77: No not at all. Just different.

THRVGloryB: I'm curious if you feel it's important to separate...the ones who really "need" it from the ones who do it for fun, and could take it or leave it (if they had to). Back to Guest3--is that an issue in your life? That you feel or know people who feel...a need to explore the other side?

Tnkrbell77: Well.. I have left it when I had to... but w/o it life (for me) isn't the same.

Guest 4: Well...it's kind of a long story...lately I've decided my "friendship" with a "witndship" with a Pro Domme

THRVGloryB: a witndship" ??

Guest 9: "?"

Guest 3: Yes, I am very dominant, but have the need or desire to be submissive on the other side drives me nuts

THRVGloryB: psssst....Pash... Guest7 hasn't read it. :-)

THRVHoney: Guest9, you will next, hun!

THRVPashun: hmmmm.... Guest7....it is a MUST READ!

THRVGloryB: Guest3--does that bother you? Or confuse you?

Guest 7: LOL...Glory

Guest 4: ..friendship with a Pro domme was a disappointment

THRVGloryB: Thank you, Pashie. Knew I could count on you! :-)

THRVPashun: always, Glory dear :)

THRVGloryB: Oooh, I just *love* these multiple conversations. It's just like dominating a whole GROUP! Okay, Guest3--drives you nuts in a good way or a bad way? :-) I mean...do the sub fantasies arouse you or worry you? Guest4--prodommes can break a man's heart. But, come to think of it...so can non-pro dommes! :-) In fact...for some, it's a kind of specialty. :-I

Guest 3: Good way, I am starting to learn to explore the other side. That is why I am here.

Tnkrbell77:

THRVGloryB: Ah! Well, please make yourself at home, Guest3.

Tnkrbell77: <---notes the stern look

THRVHoney: Guest9, you had a question, hun?

THRVGloryB: By the way--is there any particular significance to the "8" in your name?

THRVGloryB: <--she asked hopefully

Guest 4: I know...I should be billed for my pain!

Guest 9: I've never had an orgasm, any suggestions?

THRVGloryB: That's the attitude, Guest4.

Tnkrbell77: Masturbate

THRVGloryB: Tink, took the word right out of my mouth. Guest9, how old are you?

Guest 9: 19

Guest 3: Can't explain, you have to see it

THRVPashun: Guest9... perhaps you can also visit THRVSexDoc on Thursday nights at 10 in the Sexuality Salon :)

THRVGloryB: Guest9, have you ever attempted to achieve orgasm? Gee, Pash, I don't know. I'm kind of intrigued.

Guest 9: what do you mean?

THRVGloryB: Maybe we could keep the nice young inorgasmic man around a bit longer. Guest9, have you ever masturbated?

THRVPashun: I knew you would be, Glory :)

Guest 4: !...I'm beginning to think I live in a dream world that others only pretend to enter with me!

Guest 9: yes

THRVGloryB: Guest4--have you ever served a non-pro? Guest0, and you can't reach orgasm from masturbation?

Guest 9: I'm female

THRVGloryB: The reason I ask, Guest4, is because I think it is harder to believe a pro domme is sincere... because she makes a living from doing sm. Serving a woman...you know is doing it because SHE enjoys it is different.

THRVHoney: Anyone with a question please type in a "?", or a "!" for a comment

Guest 4: ...well...sort of...I was once quite under the spell...but nervously bolted...it was years ago,,,like Arden I feared parental disapproval!

THRVGloryB: <--Arden is the main character in my book, DOMINA. An aborted attempt like that doesn't really count. What went south with this latest pro? Ah. That's sad, Guest4. I am sorry. It must have been painful for you. For what it's worth, I think many of us feared our own needs when we were young. I know I did. It may surprise some men to hear this, but I think that many women... who are into SM also felt that finding a man who *REALLY* enjoyed doing... such perverted things was just impossible.

THRVHoney: Que is wide open for any questions or comments

Guest 4: I was in a confused period of my life....mixed in with a lot of acting out that probably did deserve censure. ...none the less I have always wondered........

THRVGloryB: Drugs, eh? :-) Would any kinky women like to chime in here? :-)

Guest 4: then too...I plunged into a vanilla life of denial!

THRVGloryB: Wondered what would have happened if you hadn't bolted?

THRVGloryB: Oh, Honey, you party pooper! Pashie, I think it's up to you.

THRVHoney: LOL

THRVPashun: oy vey!! :)

THRVPashun: Hello, my name is Pash and I am kinky! ;)

THRVGloryB: Guest4, may I ask how old you are now? And when you finally began dealing with your sm needs?

Guest 4: You've got it! Still I was pretty kinky there for a while!

Guest 10: haha

Guest 11: MY GIRLFRIEND SAYS HER EX'S NAME IN THE MIDDLE OF SEX...WHY DOES SHE DO THIS AND HOW DO I STOP HER?

THRVGloryB: Guest11, I'm afraid I can't tell you what the SM solution to that is...instead, I suggest you return on a Thursday night and talk to SexDoc Live!

Guest 6: ball gag

THRVGloryB: He can answer your questions. Guest6!!! Shhhh! :-)

Guest 4: I may be getting too old for this...white hair and all

Guest 6: :-)

THRVGloryB: Oh, where's Mistress when we need her!!

Guest 12: ?

THRVGloryB: Guest4, don't be shy. I'll tell you my age if you tell me yours. Besides we're all alone here, aren't we?

Guest 6: yes Ms Groy ...I agree.....we do NEED Her

THRVGloryB: Groy?

Guest 5: that's short for GROYn

THRVGloryB: That's Ms. GORY to you, RP!

THRVGloryB: Guest5--I see where your mind is at!

Guest 5: on Honey's groy.

Guest 4: ...as far as dealing with sm needs...you mean with pro?

THRVGloryB: (of course, with a handle like Guest5, why am I surprised?)

THRVPashun: Guest12..please go ahead with your question :)

THRVHoney: Oh LOL

THRVGloryB: Guest4, as far as finding someone to act them out with, yes.

Guest 12: Ms. Glory, I'm new to all this, not quite sure what it all is actually. I've wanted things to be a little spicier but am afraid

Guest 6: opppps

THRVHoney: Guest5, you are killing me~!

THRVGloryB: Thanks for your question, Guest12, and welcome. You are among friends. Now tell me...what are you afraid of?

Guest 12: thank you

THRVGloryB: We've probably all been there, Guest12. Trust me.

Guest 12: afraid that my partner will think I'm a bit too much and afraid of what people will say because I have a child

THRVGloryB: It's always difficult in the beginning to talk about these things.

Guest 12: are these thoughts normal?

THRVGloryB: Yes, Guest12. Many of us have had very similar thoughts in our lives...
"what will this do to our families if they find out?" etc. It's the very rare individual who knows for sure in youth that s/he will...grow up needing sm. Even if we can remember having the fantasies as children... we didn't understand what those things meant back then.

Guest 7: !

Guest 4: well....I started reading Dominant Mystique after a long lay off.....I mean about 10 years started to find the bittersweet sensation of enjoying the old repressed fantasies

THRVHoney: Guest7, you have a comment?

THRVGloryB: So many of us build very "normal" straight lives, only to confront...our real needs after we've made big commitments. Guest7, did you wish to comment on this? Why bittersweet, Guest4? (You know...I think I like this midnight hour! People are being so honest about their lives! I really applaud you guys down there in the audience.)

Guest 7: I just wanted to tell Guest12 that communication is so important in every relationship... even more so in a D/s one... so you need to talk about them openly with ones partner

THRVHoney: LOL.....It's the honesty hour!

THRVPashun: Yes, they are wonderful! ;)

Guest 5: sure seems to be.

THRVGloryB: Yes, Honey! It's very cool. It takes strength to be honest!

Guest 12: thank you Guest7

THRVHoney: Yes, I do agree!

THRVGloryB: Guest12, does your partner seem at all receptive to your fantasies?

Guest 4: well, I finally decided that it would be best to visit one of the most provocative young Dommes just to prove that I didn't need her.

Guest 7: and it can always start out slowly...like I did

Guest 6: it's also the "witching" hour

Guest 12: yes, very much so. We've talked about it but then because he's receptive to it, that kind of frightens me

THRVGloryB: Ah! Guest12, I understand that too--you're afraid of your own fantasies.

Guest 12: is it healthy to not act on it or just get over it and do what i want?

THRVGloryB: Do you find them shameful, Guest12? Guest12, repression is never healthy for a person. If you deny your real feelings...you feel a constant emotional pressure and stress in your life.

Guest 12: I guess in a sense

THRVGloryB: Can any others here speak to that? How you feel when you try to bottle up your sm needs?

Guest 7: It is really hard to....

Guest 4: It didn't work out quite that way however...

Guest 12: I'm 29 now and have had these feelings for a long time. I had a partner that would be somewhat dominant and I absolutely loved it. If it just happens I'll ride with it but I won't initialize it

THRVGloryB: Guest4--are you sure that's really why you went? Maybe another part of you...was hoping to be swept off his feet and ravished by her? JS, if you don't open up the subject, who will?

Guest 7: well Guest12, I think if you discuss your needs...because in a relaionship, we all have needs... you might be surprised

Guest 6: <---feels like "something" is missing when I'm not at Mistress' feet

THRVGloryB: Guest12, people waste a lot of precious time hoping someone else will make the first move.

Guest 4: Well...she was much better looking than I had imagined...and extremely precocious for her age...her dungeon ...was in the basement of her house....I felt like I was being drawn like a magnet!

Guest 12: so true! I guess I should just get over it thanks for your kind words

THRVGloryB: Guest12, have you read DIFFERENT LOVING?

Guest 12: no ma'am

Guest 7: great book too Guest12

THRVGloryB: Sometimes couples use the book to open up communication. They each read a chapter, and then talk it over--what was exciting, what was a turn-off, etc. This way, they start to get to know the other's "hot buttons."

Guest 12: will purchase it this weekend though and be back w u next wk

THRVPashun: I can attest to that :) ::blushing::

THRVGloryB: If you are in a happy marriage, with a receptive partner, Guest12...
you really owe it to yourself to make it the most sexually satisfying relationship you can dream of.

Guest 12: no not married. have part time lover

THRVGloryB: Well, okay. :-) With your lover, then.

Guest 7: it is a great book Guest12 because I felt it addressed the inner theories as compared to the "nuts and bolts" of D/s

THRVGloryB: Guest4, a masochist's imagination is a very powerful thing.

Guest 4: ....have you perchance ever encountered Avalon in NY

THRVGloryB: Was that helpful to you, Guest7? Some people feel that's one of the book's...shortcomings, that it doesn't give any how-to's.

Guest 12: just what I'm looking for. I think I need a little more literature to understand. maybe that will give me what I need to pursue thanks again

THRVGloryB: Guest4, no. I didn't know that many pro's in NYC. When I lived there.. (I left in '91), pro's seldom came out to clubs.

Guest 7: I thought it was great... I used it to get a better understanding of who I was.. and where I was coming from... then I could move on to the more "practical" aspects

THRVPashun: Guest12, good luck!

Guest 12: thanks pash

THRVGloryB: Thanks, Guest7. I am happy to hear that. Guest4, it's different now. Lots of pros mingle in the Scene. Guest12, thanks for joining us and sharing! That was brave of you.

Guest 4: ...It is a small world..I've been with her in Hilton's store

THRVGloryB: Ah! I do know Hilton! :-)

Guest 12: one step at a time Ms. Glory

THRVGloryB: Guest4--how did she disappoint you? You mentioned disappointment earlier.

Guest 7: Guest12.. I think it is important to talk first... I also feel if you have an understanding as to where you are... and where you want to go.. it makes it easier to lay out expectations... and communicate them

Guest 4: As I noticed when I read "Different Loving"..recently a woman there told me her brother wrote..I think an intr

THRVGloryB: That's right, Guest12. But the first step is usually the biggest one. Her brother wrote a what?

Guest 4: I'm sorry I think it may have been an introduction? for your book?

THRVGloryB: Um, nope, Guest4.

Tnkrbell77: introduction=disappointment?

THRVGloryB: No one wrote an intro for DifLove. We did interview a lot of people, though.

THRVPashun: folks, I am sorry to say that we are just about out of time for tonight :(

THRVGloryB: Do you recall the woman's name or what she looked like Stanly?

Guest 4: well...I'm probably mixed up..can't remember her name now

THRVGloryB: Wow! Is it time already?

THRVPashun: yes....but didn't we have a great time? :)

Guest 12: well good night everyone. Have a great weekend. roses and waves to all

Guest 4: She was probably late 40's to 50's, intellectually inclined, she was reading a New Yorker article on S&M

THRVPashun: goodnight, Guest 12:) Please come back soon! ;)

THRVGloryB: Allyn, by any chance? Wild mop of dark hair, streaked gray?

Guest 4: ?You want to read a story Avalon had me write for Dominant Mystique?

THRVGloryB: Well, folks, I can't believe the chat is already over... but Mistress/slave Pashun has announced it! Thank you all for joining us tonight!

Guest 7: I am glad I came

THRVPashun: Dual role!! Mmmmmm ;) Glory thank you so much! ;)

THRVGloryB: (Mistress to the masses, slave to GloryB)

Guest 3: Thank you Ms Glory

THRVHoney: Night everyone, thank you all for a wonderful chat!!!!!!

THRVGloryB: :-) Thanks, Pashie-pie.

Guest 7: night all

THRVGloryB: Guest4--is it a true story?

Tnkrbell77: bye everyone.

Guest 4: It was titled "Slave of Avalon". If she hadn't encouraged me to write, I would not have ...Yes!!

THRVPashun: night night Tnk :)

Tnkrbell77: Good night Pashun. :-)

THRVPashun: I hope to see you all back here next Friday night at 12! :)