TOPICS

What is Queening?
Do Submissives Tend to Have a Past History of Abuse?
What Makes a Submissive a Submissive
Basics of a Healthy Dom/sub relationship
Fulfilling the Desires of One's D/s Partner

THRVGloryB: Hiya, Pash-pie!

THRVPashun: Hugs and kisses, Glory How was your week? :)

THRVGloryB: Hmmm...seems a bit quiet tonight! :-) It's a busy time for me right now. But fun. How was yours?

THRVPashun: It will take time for people to get used to the new time and day

THRVGloryB: (And hi to Guest1! )

THRVPashun: Mine was great, thanks :)

Guest 1: this is my first time here.......so I am a listener....

THRVGloryB: That's fine, Guest1. All are welcome.

THRVPashun: hi there, Guest 2:)

THRVGloryB: Hi, Guest2.

THRVGloryB: This may turn out to be a very intimate gathering. :-)

THRVPashun: intimate is good sometimes :)

Guest 2: Hi..I'm just exploring different chat rooms. thought this looked interesting

Guest 3: Hello

THRVGloryB: Well, hey, Guest3!

THRVPashun: hugs Guest 3:)

Guest 2: Guest3 must be a regular :-)

Guest 3: hi, Glory & Pashun...this is Guest3's sub...Guest3 will be here in a sec

THRVGloryB: He sure is! Oh, Guest3's Sub, hi! You guys are in one place tonight!

Guest 3: Hi, Guest2....he's here a lot

THRVPashun: hiya Guest3's sub dear :)

Guest 3: yes, thank goodness....it'd been almost 3 weeks....way too long for me

THRVGloryB: Guest3--I'm impressed you guys remembered the time change!

Guest 3: now how could we forget???? we enjoy your hour a week

THRVGloryB: We'll be starting in a few minutes. Well, I was just saying we may have a SMALL crowd tonight. :-) Guest3's sub, this will be your chance to ask all those burning questions...I'm sure you've been bottling up for months.

Guest 3: ummm......sitting right beside him I'm supposed to ask "burning questions"??????

Guest 4: ?

THRVGloryB: Poor Guest3's sub! How humiliating! :-)

Guest 3: here he is.....Guest3 has the keyboard now

THRVGloryB: Hiya, KB. Do you have a question?

THRVPashun: KB, go ahead with your question :)

Guest 4: My screen was blank for a while and I wondered if anything was happening when I sent the ? it turned on

Guest 3: LOL....he said to tell you thanks, Glory....he's going for the icy hot

THRVPashun: glad you are with us, Guest 4:)

THRVGloryB: Ah! Well, you're coming through loud & clear, Guest4. Guest3's Sub...so I guess your first question is how to talk your Master out of the icy hot? :-)

Guest 3: Guest 3: <---- taking control of the keyboard muhahahhahah Hiya Glory. Pashynpoooh LOL

THRVGloryB: Why, hello, Guest3. There's a rumor going around that you have some icy hot with you tonight.

Guest 3: hehheh always

THRVPashun: Folks...it is my pleasure to present to you the lovely and wonderful Glory!!! She is here to discuss BDSM and kink! Please feel free to post a ? if you have a question :) Guest3 honey! ;)

THRVGloryB: For the newcomers--we ask audience members to feel free...to ask questions, make comments, and chat along!

Guest 3: Glory.. it is amazing a Little drop on each nipple and a finger trailed down the belly . it is like an electrical circuit

THRVGloryB: Really! Hmmm! I've never tried it. Does she squirm and squeal?

Guest 3: she will... she has already been walking challenged from a trip to the grocery this afternoon

THRVGloryB: Oh my! Poor Guest3's sub! ;-)

Guest 3: Poor Guest3's sub, my ass..... a butt plug and huge spikey balls are perfect for shopping LOL

THRVPashun: oh my!!!!

THRVGloryB: OH MY. Guest3's sub, would you agree?

Guest 3: she is nodding yes and moaning a little

THRVHoney: sorry I'm late

THRVPashun: hugs Honey Pie :)

THRVGloryB: HONEY! No problem. (on the other hand....hmmmm....Pashun....isn't there some sort of official Thrive policy that whenever...staff is late, they get spanked? (quickly looking through rule book)

THRVPashun: oh yes, I think so, Glory!

THRVHoney: Really?????

Guest 3: Pashyn wrote that policy ever since you let her on top

THRVGloryB: Yes, Honey, I'm afraid so.

THRVPashun: LOL!

THRVHoney: Would it possible for Guest5 to do it?

THRVGloryB: Guest5?

Guest 5: to do what?

THRVHoney: Yes, Guest5?

THRVGloryB: Guest3--that's what's known as "Top's Disease"

Guest 5: possible for me to do what?

Guest 3: LOL LOL

THRVGloryB: Oh, Guest5!! AH! I didn't realize we had Guest5 in the room.

THRVPashun: I guess I have been infected :)

THRVHoney: Give me a spanking for being late

Guest 3: psssst Glory watch her, she has a hungry look about her

Guest 5: oh, sure.

THRVGloryB: Since it's a Friday, may I ask: is this kosher Meat? Or a bit of pork sausage?

THRVHoney: LOL......Glory

THRVPashun: ROFL!

Guest 5: it's any kind of meat Honey likes...

Guest 3: Glory, I think she is Catholic from the lil plaid skirt and gets spanked with a flounder on Fridays

THRVGloryB: Folks, I hope you saw that Honey practically just BEGGED for a spanking! A flounder!!??? LOL! That sounds like a real pain in the bass, Guest3!

THRVHoney: Oh LOL

Guest 3: sheeeesh Glory and I thought YOU were kinky LOL LOL

THRVGloryB: I'm so kinky, it gives me a haddock!

Guest 3: <----notes Pahun wearing lil plaid skirt too. trolling Pash?

THRVPashun: ohhhhhh :)

Guest 4: Please explain what "queening" is?

Guest 3: lol lol

THRVGloryB: By the way, new for chat this week: I am pleased to announce...the debut of a new emoticon!

THRVGloryB: I call it "Mistress's STERN Look." Ready?

Guest 3: Pashun, my sub said "don't we all?"

THRVGloryB: :--[

THRVPashun: good one, Glory :)

THRVGloryB: Guest4, sorry, I got distracted. I've never heard the expression "queening." Has anyone else? Unless it's a new verb for "acting like a queen."

Guest 4: My partner likes to sit on my face and rub pussy on my chin and nose. We call it queening.

THRVHoney: If anyone has a question just type in your "?" or "!" for a comment

Guest 4: At a support group meeting I was corrected told it means the anal area is on the face, not the vaginal area

Guest 3: mmmm Guest4 I call that an appetizer

Guest 5: that's a room w/a view.

THRVGloryB: That's a new one on me, KB.

Guest 4: I was told it is wrong to use "queening" to talk about the vaginal area in contact, only the anal area. Briefly, it means "face sitting" The appeal is, suffocation and domination

THRVPashun: hmmm... Guest4, perhaps you could visit THRVSexDoc on Thursday nights at 10 :)

Guest 4: What's the big deal, anal or vaginal area?

THRVGloryB: I understand the appeal, Guest4. :-)

Guest 4: I like her using me to stimulate herself

THRVGloryB: Guest4, I think it's because oral-anal contact is considered...much more humbling to the slave than oral-vaginal.

Guest 4: I see

THRVGloryB: I've heard of analinctus referred to as "the kiss of devotion."

Guest 4: I would think that suffocating me while using my face for stimulation would be considered very dominating it comes across that way :)

THRVGloryB: Yes, absolutely, Guest4, it is. But, again, it isn't as humiliating. I would suppose that most submissive men would content that... being permitted to lick his Mistress's genitals is the very highest privilege.

Guest 4: So, if I call what we do "queening" am going to mislead people I thought it was a synonym for "face sitting"

THRVGloryB: Many dominatrices don't grant that privilege to their slaves.

Guest 4: Does "face sitting" imply anal contact also?

Guest 6: I need advice

THRVPashun: Guest6, advice concerning BDSM?

Guest 3: Guest4 sounds like few people know the term and you will explaining it to anyone you mention it to

Guest 6: Is there a sexpert in here?

THRVGloryB: Guest4, I don't think any of those terms are really so well-defined. Yes, Guest6.

Guest 4: good point Guest3, thanks

Guest 6: no...concerning pregnancy

Guest 4: Pashun thanks for the sex-doc tip

THRVPashun: Guest6, perhaps you can visit THRVSexDoc's chat on Thursday nights at 10

THRVGloryB: Sorry, Guest6. Not tonight.

Guest 6: My girlfriend has decided to give her virginity to me

THRVPashun: you are welcome :)

Guest 6: I just need an opinion

THRVGloryB: Guest6, this chat is devoted to BDSM topics.

Guest 6: If you can give it to me. BDSM?

THRVGloryB: Guest6, I believe you can find great resources for information on contraception...

Guest 5: BIG DUMB STUPID MEN

Guest 6: whats that?

THRVGloryB: right here on Thrive. Guest5, great definition!

Guest 6: Is that what it really means?

Guest 5: Guest6..it's about Bondage, etc.

THRVGloryB: No. It means bondage, discipline, fetishism, etc.

THRVPashun: Guest6, I can send you a link after chat :) Please send me email :)

Guest 6: okay..thanks

Guest 5: not just sex.

THRVHoney: Thank you Guest5!

Guest 5: no problem, honey

THRVGloryB: Wait a minute! Is meat a sausage or a pie? Hmmmm! :-[

Guest 6: okay..well for now I'll just sit and listen to the conversation if you dont mind

Guest 3: it means Belligerent Dommes Say Most anything LOL LOL

THRVGloryB: Sure, Guest6. As long as you're an adult.

Guest 6: okay

THRVHoney: LOL....Oh he can be many things!

Guest 6: In everyones opinion......

THRVGloryB: It means Beautifull Dommes Speak Melodiously!

Guest 7: hello everybody

THRVGloryB: That's my story and I'm stickin' to it.

Guest 3: LOL LOL

Guest 5: I can be a sausage or a pie...depends on Honey's taste that particular night.

THRVHoney: Good evening, Guest7

Guest 6: Do you think that masturbation is unhealthy when done with your partner?

Guest 3: Why did I know there would be a comeback LOL

THRVGloryB: Hiya, Guest7. Welcome to the funfest

THRVGloryB: Guest6, my dear, please visit SexDoc on Thursdays at 10 p.m.

Guest 7: I'm new to this area... anybody care to explain?

Guest 6: I guess I'll leave then

THRVHoney: If you have a question for Glory please type in a "?" or a "!" for any comments

Guest 3: Masturbation is only unhealthy in public theatres a la Pee Wee Herman

THRVGloryB: Sure, Guest7. This is the "Different Loving" chat hour....

Guest 6: :-(

THRVPashun: Guest7, this is a chat concerning BDSM and kink

THRVGloryB: devoted to questions/chat about kinky sex.

THRVHoney: LOL.....Guest3

Guest 6: thanx Guest3

THRVGloryB: All adults sympathetic to bdsm are welcome!

Guest 5: Guest6..it's about ....yes..what Glory said.

Guest 7: hmmm.. this is gonna be interesting !

Guest 5: sympathetic, or empathetic?

Guest 6: okay

Guest 7: when do we start?

THRVGloryB: Guest5--frankly, as long as they're breathing, they're okay by me. :-)

Guest 3: I just come for the lil plaid skirts

THRVGloryB: We've started Guest7

Guest 5: anyone breathing is fair game?

Guest 4: Guest6 I sent you email

THRVGloryB: Guest7, would you like to ask a question?

Guest 7: well... I'm not sure just yet... come back to me.. okay?

Guest 5: ?

Guest 3: Guest5 , it is like a pawn shop credit report. yep a pulse

THRVGloryB: Guest5--with their consent, of course.

THRVGloryB: Guest5--pls. go ahead.

THRVHoney: Guest5, you have a Q?

Guest 5: kinda a messy question...

Guest 5: let's see about wording...

THRVGloryB: <--holding dominant mop ready in hand

Guest 5: when considering psychological profiles of submissives, do they tend to have a "past" of abuse?

Guest 5: I think that's what I wanted to say.

THRVHoney: Guest5, chances are I would have to clean it up, so keep it somewhat clean!

Guest 6: Okay...

Guest 5: in other words, is there something that "makes" them want to be submissive, or NEED IT?

THRVGloryB: Guest5, thank you for phrasing it so delicately.

Guest 7: well???

Guest 6: I have used fruits and vegetables in my sex activities before

THRVHoney: Isn't he a cutie?

THRVGloryB: Guest5, to answer your second question first: yes, there

THRVHoney: hehehehe

THRVGloryB: is something that makes women (as well as men) want to be

Guest 6: Is that an abnormal fetish?

THRVGloryB: submissive and indeed those who are NEED submission in their lives...to feel balanced and psychologically at peace. HOWEVER--that need is NOT necessarily the result of abuse. There has never been any evidence (scientific) to support the idea...that all submissives had abuse in their backgrounds...although there ARE a lot of women in the Scene who did have abuse in their..childhood. Here is where it gets really fuzzy, you see..because the estimates out there are that 96% of us were raised in dysfunctional families...in other words, there's no reason to believe it's just submissive women...who were abused, or that the abuse is what makes them submissive.

Guest 7: wow... good answer !!!

Guest 3: Guest5 I have seen that addressed on several discussion lists and that didn't seem to be an over-riding theme, even those with a history didn't equate BDSM with past abuse

Guest 7: what about men... I have a very submissive husband I think it's just a roll they choose to work in the relationship. 96% huh??? wow !

Guest 6: I am obviously a little burden on everyone...I'll go

THRVGloryB: Guest7--In my personal opinion, just as many men have fantasies... about submitting as do women. That's a number that sociologists came up with.

Guest 5: well, that was my next question..about dominants...

THRVGloryB: Yes, Guest5, pls. go ahead. (Great questions!)

THRVPashun: Guest6, you might find more information if you try THRVSexDoc's
chat :)

Guest 5: well, same question, just applied to dom's.

THRVGloryB: Do most doms have abuse in their background?

Guest 7: probably !

Guest 5: yes

THRVGloryB: Guest5, from all my years of studying this, I am more convinced than ever...that there is no one (or even two) cause(s) for why people...
become sadomasochists or fetishists.

Guest 5: that's what I figured.

NDic941297: hello all

Guest 5: ?

THRVGloryB: For example, take two boys who grow up in the same household...both get spanked regularly as children by the same parents. It's very possible one will grow up a spanking fetishist, constantly...needing to replay the spanking scenarios. And it's quite possible...his brother-- growing up under all the same circumstances--will positively loathe any form of physical pain or discipline.

THRVHoney: Guest5, your Q?

Guest 7: I don't know.....

Guest 5: what do you consider to be the basics of a "healthy" sub/dom relationship?

THRVGloryB: Otherwise, why wouldn't all our siblings be as kinky as we are?

Guest 5: true

THRVGloryB: I've interviewed people who said "I need spankings as an adult because I never...got them as a kid" and others who said, "I need spankings because I loved being spanked as a kid." Guest5--the same things I consider to be the basics of any healthy relationship...mutual caring, mutual respect, and loyalty. I believe a dominant makes a commitment to take care of a sub. And the sub makes a commitment to serve obediently.

Guest 5: but when is the line between being dominant and being cruel crossed?

THRVGloryB: That line, in my opinion, is crossed when the submissive (or dominant) feels unhappy, emotionally battered, unable to express his/her opinions freely.

Guest 7: I think being dominant is more like being "selfish" in the relationship and submissive.. is more like... doing anything to keep you mate

THRVGloryB: Guest7--but do you believe a dominant has responsibility towards the submissive?

Guest 5: ?

Guest 7: yes... but they don't always see it that way !

Guest 3: Guest7, the D/s relationship isn't selfish... in my relationship I lend my strength to aid and counsel My Sub to be all she can be in every facetof her life

THRVGloryB: True, Guest7. Unfortunately!

THRVHoney: Guest5, your Q?

Guest 5: how would a sub get out of such a relationship in which he feels battered or unable to express his opinions? What do you say to a dom that is overbearing, so to speak?

THRVGloryB: Well, overbearing and abusive are two things (unless you mean the sub feels intimidated?)

Guest 4: !
Guest 5: well, kinda..yes

THRVGloryB: Guest5, there is no one answer because it depends on the individual couple. If a dominant is actually threatening the well-being of a sub, that sub should just RUN as fast as he/she can. Etiquette isn't important when your life is at stake!

THRVHoney: Guest4, you have a comment?

Guest 4: I would say to such a dom, "This is non-consensual" or "let's renegotiate" overbearing isn't necessarily threatening, but it can be a bummer. If you didn't contract for bummers, say so

Guest 3: or simply leave

Guest 7: !

THRVGloryB: What Guest4 said would be appropriate for another couple. If the couple is still able to communicate, the relationship...could possibly be salvaged with counseling. There *are* counselors out there who will work with BDSM couples.

THRVHoney: Guest7, you have a comment?

Guest 7: Well.. a dominate personality will only go as far as a submission person will let them. they have limits.

Guest 5: that was my next question, glory.

THRVGloryB: A *good* dominant is like that, Guest7, I agree. Guest5--there is a project called "Kink Aware Professionals," which is a listing of therapists & doctors who are "kink friendly."

Guest 5: hey..I"m a professional...maybe I should advertise, Honey? or thrown in the pen...

THRVHoney: LOL...... Guest5!

Guest 5: I think THAT kind of kink is illegal in this state.

THRVGloryB: Guest5--has trouble ever bothered you before? ;-)

THRVPashun: LOL, Glory!

Guest 5: well...depends upon w/whom I am in trouble.

Guest 8: Hi Glory (better late than never).

THRVGloryB: Guest8!!! I was wondering if you'd make it! :-)

Guest 8: I meant to be here about an hour ago. Fell asleep. :(

THRVPashun: Hi Guest8! :)

Guest 8: Hi Pashun. :)

THRVGloryB: I think tinkerbell must've drifted to lala land himself. :-)

Guest 5: this is kinda late for us working professionals.

THRVGloryB: Guest3, what do you think of this new midnight hour?

Guest 5: or should I say "stiffs".

Guest 3: it is nice Glory..

THRVHoney: Oh LOL..... Guest5!

THRVGloryB: "Stiffs" is so........evocative!

Guest 3: Hiya Guest8

THRVGloryB: And if they're young stiffs...does that make them "stiffies"?

Guest 8: Hi Guest3. Haven't seen you around for a while.

Guest 9: late? it's only hmmm 1ish

Guest 3: been hiding lol

THRVGloryB: Guest9, thanks for joining.

Guest 10: hello Glory

THRVGloryB: Have you corrupted you yet? Hello, Guest10.

Guest 10: I am new to this scene and am very curious want and need to fulfill my boyfriends needs/wants

THRVGloryB: You've come to the right place, Guest10.

Guest 8: Hiding? LOL...From who?

THRVPashun: You've come to the right place, Guest 10:)

Guest 9: I'm incorruptible GloryB...:o)

THRVPashun: OH MY!

THRVGloryB: OMIGOSH! PASHUN!

THRVPashun: ekkk!! ;)

THRVGloryB: Guest9--hey, give me a chance, okay? ;-) Corruption is sort of a personal specialty.

Guest 10: but also need help in locating what I need to do this

THRVGloryB: Guest10--are those B&D type desires?

Guest 9: somtimes GloryB...I give two chances...rofl

Guest 10: d/s desires what exactly is B&D?

THRVGloryB: Would you like to say what those desires are?

Guest 10: I feel so stupid

THRVGloryB: B&D=bondage and discipline.

Guest 10: sure

THRVGloryB: Don't feel stupid, Guest10. We were all in your shoes once.

Guest 10: ok..some of all of it I guess wow...I can't believe I'm even askingok..here goes first I am a married, about to be legally separated female..41 yrs old BBW, He is 51 yr old married bored male

THRVGloryB: Has he talked to you about his kinky fantasies?

Guest 10: he would like to have another female watch as I play and seek to please him

Guest 9: you mean this room isn't for ordering z24 parts?

Guest 10: oh yeah we have talked about all of it..it does excite me

THRVGloryB: Would the other woman just be watching, or would she participate in some way?

Guest 10: have experienced spankings for the first time about 3 wks ago and loved it watching to start and then participating with me spanking her possibly with him touching her also

THRVGloryB: That's great, Guest10! Do you think he'd like to have her watch you get spanked, too?

THRVGloryB: AH! Does that excite you?

Guest 10: oh yes he would. The only thing that bothers me I think is the thought that he would be touching someone else

THRVGloryB: Do you feel scared about living this fantasy out? That's very understandable, Guest10.

Guest 10: I have been in a monogamous marriage for the past 21 yrs so that's where I'm at any suggestions?

THRVGloryB: Guest10, there's nothing wrong with a fantasy. But if you think the reality....would upset you, then you should tell him so, honestly.

Guest 10: I would love to at least try it I have told him all of my feelings and we have discussed them

THRVGloryB: Was he understanding?

Guest 10: he is to a point

THRVGloryB: Well, Guest10, it's always possible that once the other woman is there
that you will be so turned on by it that you won't feel jealous.

Guest 10: he wanted a friend of mine to do this with us but I told him, quite adamantly that I do not want to do this with her at all

THRVGloryB: Do you think that's possible?

Guest 11: ?

Guest 10: I think it could happen

Guest 5: well, all...good night..I have to get to bed.

Guest 10: goodnight Guest5

THRVPashun: Folks....I am sorry to say we are out of time for tonight :(

THRVGloryB: G'night, Guest5! Thanks for stopping by! Guest10, please feel free to return next week. We begin at midnight. I'd be happy to talk to you more about your situation then.

THRVPashun: Please come back next Friday night at 12amET! :) Thank you all for being here! :)

Guest 10: thank you By then I may have fulfilled it

Guest 8: Goodnight everyone.

THRVGloryB: Thanks for coming, folks!!

THRVGloryB: Well, Guest10, then you can tell us all about it! :-)

Guest 7: Is is shutting down time.. already"

Guest 10: maybe

THRVPashun: night Guest 8:)

Guest 10: night all

THRVGloryB: Yes, Guest7--we start a midnight and go for one hour!

THRVGloryB: Goodnight everyone!

Guest 7: okay.. till next time :) good night !