TOPICS

Losing Patience During Discipline
Transgender as a Dominant
Resolving Emotional Conflicts as a Sub
Abuse in a BDSM Relationship
Gloria's Book Release
BDSM and Monogomy
Resolving Conflicts With Friendships vs Lifestyle
What Makes a Person Want to Dominate Another
Not Being a Doormat as a Submissive

Guest 1: Hiya Glory, Pashun, Honey and all the rest :-)

Guest 2: how's your week been, you kinky thing you? :)

THRVGloryB: Hi, all. Pashun, is our chat beginning to begin? :-)

THRVHoney: Hiya Guest1!

Guest 2: Glory! :)

Guest 3: Hiya Glory

Guest 5: Hello, everyone.

THRVPashun: Sure is Glory :)

Guest 4: hi, Glory

THRVPashun: Guest2..missed you last week darlin

Guest 2: yeah.......I was doing the vacation thing :)

Guest 6: Hi Glory...

Guest 1: What's new Glory?

THRVPashun: Welcome everyone to our BDSM and Kink chat with the ever lovely Glory! :)

THRVGloryB: Did you need a little more perversion in your week or somethin'? :-)

Guest 7: ?

THRVPashun: We have the delightful Honey bottoming and taking your ?s :) I get to top tonight! Woo HOO!

Guest 1: I think he was worried about being in the wrong room.

Guest 8: lol

THRVHoney: Oh LOL....Pash!

THRVGloryB: AHEM! (looking at Pashun)

THRVHoney: I think Guest7 has the first question!

Guest 1: Go get em Pash :-)

Guest 7: thank you

Guest 4: Pashun .... power corrupts

THRVGloryB: (flexing whip)

THRVHoney: LOL.....Glory!

Guest 5: LOL

Guest 7: my question concerns patience

Guest 1: Ye gawds I hope so.

THRVGloryB: Hello to the delicious Honey down below!

THRVPashun: >---returning to corner ;)

Guest 9: ?

Guest 7: is it common for the Dom...to sort of loose patience in the heat of discipline sexually speaking

THRVGloryB: Yes, it's WOMEN'S NIGHT here. That's a good little Pashun. (patting my co-host)

THRVHoney: Hello there, Glory!

Guest 4: <-refuses to have a sex change to participate in LADIES NITE

Guest 6: LOL

Guest 1: ditto. Lol

THRVGloryB: Guest4--not to worry. We are penis friendly.

Guest 7: sometimes it is better to receive than give selfihsness can be a good thing sometimes

Guest 9: Guest7, IMHO it's not uncommon but I'd think it unseemly

Guest 10: penis friendly or penis jealous??? ::ducking::

THRVGloryB: Guest7--what do you mean by "lose patience"?

Guest 4: LOL Glory I prefer penis craving LOL

Guest 8: ROFL!

Tnkrbell77: <-----always likes women's night

Guest 4: lol Tinkr

THRVGloryB: If you're saying you start whomping on the sub in passion, that could be a tiny problem. :-)

Guest 7: ok...stay in control of the situation before getting caught up in the heat that is being made

Guest 1: (hiya tink :)

Tnkrbell77: Guest1.. hi there. :-)

THRVGloryB: Or do you mean the dom gets so excited he or she must move on to the orgasmic part of the evening quickly? :-)

Guest 7: banging her yes, but with a different pole so to speak. Yes, one if many I hope

THRVGloryB: That is, in my view, the dominant's prerogative. Being sexually aroused is a Good Thing (as Martha would say)

Guest 3: lol

Guest 7: bless the good things in life

Tnkrbell77: Martha???? :-)

THRVGloryB: Tink, you and your Martha Stewart fetish! SIGH.

Tnkrbell77:

Guest 10: he just keeps imagining Martha Strapon

THRVHoney: Guest9, you have a question?

Guest 11: What chat is this?

THRVGloryB: Guest7--it is the dom's responsibility to stay in control, but that doesn't mean one can't get carried away a little by passion...passion doesn't necessarily mean a loss of control, does it?

Guest 9: I am wondering why it is so difficult to be taken seriously if you are TG and domme

THRVGloryB: Guest9, are you a TG domme?

Guest 9: If you are sub, it's okay but if you want to top...I want to be, yes. I don't feel submissive

Guest 7: no it does not only if you want to discipline or perform corrective actions

Guest 1: Guest11 - this chat is about bdsm and kinky relationships

THRVGloryB: Guest9, I've known tg's who were quite respected as dommes. Being perceived as a domme has more to do with how you carry yourself...than your gender.

Guest 7: tg does that = trans gendered

Guest 11: Oh thanks. I was just in the nutrition chat. I guess they've left.

Guest 4: Guest11 we eat too LOL

Guest 1: yep, they're gone, but you can stay if yer twisted.

Guest 8: lol

Guest 11: Kay, LOL I'm about to find out, huh?

THRVGloryB: So, Guest9, I guess the question is: do you come across as domme, in the way you dress, behave, etc? Yes, tg=transgendered.

Guest 9: I try to, yes

Guest 1: LOL, you betcha doll. :-) welcome to our werld.

THRVGloryB: And you've had people question your sincerity?

Guest 9: Yes!!

THRVGloryB: Is this in real life BDSM situations or on-line?

Guest 7: Master/Domme is an inner perception..not limited to outward signs

Guest 11: Thanks

Guest 9: In R/L-I won't do online

THRVGloryB: Guest7, that's true. But it's also true that people in the Scene do tend to judge people by how they dress and the way they act in public.

Guest 9: Doms ask me if I want to sub for them and when I say no they look lost

THRVGloryB: Most of us look at the clothes and accessories to give us clues about who's what. For example, if you see a woman dressed in a schoolgirl's outfit with a collar on, chances are she won't have a lot of subs coming up, asking to serve her. :-)

THRVHoney: Would anyone like to be next in line with q question for Glory?

Guest 7: true....collars or anklets but a Domme would not wear a collar

Guest 9: Good example, Glory

Tnkrbell77: <---thinks black patent mary janes are a definte give away. :-)

Guest 1: ?

THRVGloryB: Unfortunately, the signals have gotten so mixed over the years..as lots of new (clueless) people have begun showing up at groups and clubs.

THRVHoney: Guest1, your question?

Guest 1: now?

Guest 9: When I have gone to BDSM functions I have always tried to dress and act domme...

THRVHoney: Sure, go for it!

Guest 7: what is your Domme dress Guest9?

Guest 9: But I don't act like a ball-busting bitch. Maybe that's my problem?

Tnkrbell77: <--thinks Guest9 should wear whip and hancuffs on belt etc. Things which subbies normally don't do.

Guest 9: I always carry a crop, Tink

THRVGloryB: Uhhh...no, I definitely don't recommend the "ball-busting bitch" routine...until you're alone with your sub, that is. ;-)

Guest 4: It is attitude that will cause people to feel comfortable

Tnkrbell77: lol

Guest 4: you don't have to yell when a whisper will command

Guest 9: Guest7, usually more severe looking outfits, not much leather but lots of pvc

Guest 1: My beloved sub is deeply aroused by her submission, and yet that very arousal really ticks her off. Any thoughts about that conflict and suggestions for resolving it?

Guest 9: Guest4, you are so right

Guest 7: and you get asked to sub...the ones asking that question should be swatted at that moment

Guest 9: hee hee

THRVGloryB: Woopsie! No non-consensual swatting! A sneer would do! :-)

Guest 12: ???

THRVGloryB: Guest1--why does it irk her? Does she feel submission is "beneath" her? (When in fact her submission should be beneath you?) ;-)

Tnkrbell77: I don't understand what's wrong with getting turned on from submission. I do. I thought that was the general idea. :-)

Guest 8: ummm...because...I haven't quite accepted it completely, yet can't deny it. Also, I'm not completely convinced about how healthy it is emotionally.

Guest 1: (for those of you who don't know, Guest8 is my IRL sub)

THRVGloryB: Let me ask you something, Guest8 dear. Do you feel you really have a choice?

Guest 9: Guest1, maybe she feels like she's not *supposed* to be aroused?

Guest 8: uh...well no.

THRVGloryB: In other words---are you as happy in your life without submission?

Guest 8: well no.

Guest 1: <-- thinks Glory is REAL SMART. :-)

THRVGloryB: So submission is a reality of who you are, yes?

Guest 8: yes, but it pisses me off.

THRVGloryB: Guest12, we'll get to you soon.

Guest 4: it is a question of you making Guest8 realize that submission comes from strength and not weakness

THRVHoney: Guest12, your question will be taken next!

Guest 7: submission is a desire a need

THRVGloryB: Guest 8--then what you are doing is damning yourself to unhappiness.

Guest 8: explain?

Guest 1: Glory, this is a real big issue here.

THRVGloryB: Guest8, when you hear that little voice in your head that disapproves of submission and tells you it's wrong or sick or "weak" or unbecoming to a strong person such as yourself..just who's voice is it? A parent? A teacher? A clergyman?

Guest 9: Have you considered that perhaps you might not want to be sub?

Guest 7: oooohhh very good Glory

Guest 8: mom probably but...just because it FEELS good DOESN'T necessarily mean it's good for you, no?

THRVGloryB: Certainly I always heard my own mother's voice in my head sneering and disapproving at anything sexual.

Guest 1: introjection no doubt

Guest 8: lol

THRVGloryB: It isn't about "if it feels good." It's about knowing who you are.. and what makes you happy in life. Not just a passing sensation, but a basic reality of your identity.

Guest 12: ???

Guest 3: why do you think it's unhealthy, Guest8?

Guest 7: the sexual end Guest8 is only a part of the lifestyle

THRVHoney: Guest12, you may ask your question now.

Tnkrbell77: Denying the reality of one's self cant be too healthy either.Living the truth is.

Guest 1: Glory. this is also linked to her earlier conflict with feminist ideals.

Guest 9: Guest8, maybe you need to understand why you want to be sub first

THRVGloryB: Guest8, these are questions you have to ask of yourself.

Guest 7: as the army says...be all you can be ten hut soldier girl

Guest 6: LOL

Guest 12: How do u know when BSDM becomes hurtful and abusive to your partner and when it's sexual??

Guest 13: ?

THRVGloryB: Guest12, I don't understand the distinction you're making.

Guest 8: ok, thanks Gloria.

THRVGloryB: First--you can usually tell when BDSM becomes abusive...quite easily. Is your partner happy? Does your partner feel safe and taken care of?

Guest 9: It's abuse when it's non-consensual. It's sexual when you both feel pleasure

THRVGloryB: Or does your partner feel depressed, trapped, frightened?

Guest 7: Hold on there Guest9 if the sub requires corrective discipline she may not want it but deserves it

THRVGloryB: Guest12, there are some very good guidelines on how to tell the difference between loving kink and an abusive relationship. I have a list of guidelines about this on my website, as a public service.

Guest 1: Guest9, if you want to comment key in a and you will be in the queue

Guest 14: It's abusive when it injures not just hurts....A sore red bottom is one thing, bleeding and severe pain is another

THRVHoney: Guest13, you have a question?

Guest 7: this is true

Guest 15: ?

Guest 13: I was wondering is Gloria is Monagomous and whether she believes it is a part of BSDM?

THRVGloryB: Guest13, no, I am not monogamous. I'm in an open marriage. And I'm a rather frisky Mistress, if I do say so myself. :-)

Guest 14: Making a sub eat cold soup out of a dog bowl is humiliating-making them miss meals is abuse

Guest 13: excuse the late Sunday nite spelling...

THRVHoney: Guest14, you have a question?

THRVGloryB: No problem, Guest15! :-) I think it's really a personal decision whether you need or want monogamy. Monogamy never was comfortable to me, even when I was a kid.

Tnkrbell77: <--thinks frisky is an understatement ;-)

Guest 3: lol

Guest 1: LOL

THRVPashun: Guest15..before we get to your question, I would like to make an announcement! :)

Guest 15: ok!

Guest 6: Yes, Pashun..

THRVGloryB: AN ANNOUNCEMENT!(waiting with barbed breath)

THRVPashun: It is my pleasure to announce that Glory's new book, DOMINA will be out in the stores on July 24th!!! Please rush out and buy it!! ;)

Guest 1: wowza!

Guest 15: congrats Glory!

Guest 16: ???

Guest 4: heh heh pashun too late to suck up LOL

THRVGloryB: Hehehehe! Well, gee, that's a nice announcement!

THRVPashun: We will be devoting our chat next week to DOMINA! Never too late, Guest4 darlin :) hahah

Guest 17: ?

Guest 13: when are you coming to princeton for a book signing??

THRVGloryB: YES! A full hour of me giving away the entire plot! Whooee! You are all invited to Gloria's Little House of Perversion next weekend...same time, same channel (different leather panties, though)

Guest 4: LOL

Guest 3: lol

THRVPashun: ok.. Guest15 is next I believe :)

Guest 16: and I haven't been on in a while, Gloria. did you do Sewanee so to speak?

THRVGloryB: Hey, Guest16. I'm going up to Sewanee this very week!

Guest 15: thanks, well, I'm a newbie, I guess and I was talking to a (vanilla) friend about it and she thinks I'm using submission as an excuse to run my own life, do you think that's possible?

Guest 14: Do we all get free autographed copies since we were here for the announcment?

Tnkrbell77: <--is gonna miss his Mistress. :-(

Guest 16: I think you should come down to Nashville...friend from LA will be in...we will roll out the red carpet.

THRVGloryB: Yes, Guest14, I will sign them all with my magic Invisible Cyber Pen!

THRVGloryB: Guest 15--do you mean she thinks you're just looking for someone else to run your life?

Guest 15: yeah, that's not how I feel, but I guess now I'm confused..lol

THRVGloryB: On what does she base this? Are you having difficulty keeping your life together?

Guest 15: no, I don't think so, I just feel that I'm changing

Guest 16: I cut in line....wanted to know when, if, Gloria did the writers conf. told it is very exclusive.

THRVGloryB: Or is it possible she just sees submission, in general, as a bad thing?

Guest 15: she does see it that way I think

Guest 14: I know I have a lot of authority and decisions to make in my "normal" life-so its good to turn to my mistress for some stress relief....butI also have a dominant side.

THRVGloryB: Then maybe you need to discuss your interests with a more sympathetic friend.

Guest 15: thanks, she was making me doubt myself..

THRVGloryB: It's tough enough for submissives to deal with all the issues that come up when they're first getting involved in BDSM...talking to friends who disapprove can really be confusing and hurtful.

Tnkrbell77: some friends will never accept submissiveness as "a good thing"

Guest 4: Guest15, send her to the www to get educated, if her friendship is important

THRVHoney: Guest17, would you like to ask your question now?

Tnkrbell77: good idea Guest4.

Guest 15: it is imp, but like Glory said, it is hurtful, she's not helping me..!

THRVGloryB: Guest15, I'm sure she was. But you need to let her know...that what you need from her now, as a friend, is her support, not her criticism or her psychoanalysis. Just her "permission" to be the person who you really are.

Guest 17: Is there something in particular that makes a person want to dominate another?

THRVHoney: Good question, Guest17!

THRVGloryB: If she can't do that for you, this will always be a problem in your friendship.

Guest 15: thank you Glory, that's good advice..

THRVGloryB: Something in particular? Like a gene? You bet, Guest15. I hate to see subs get down when their vanilla friends...form opinions in the absence of solid information.

Guest 17: Well maybe something in our minds maybe

THRVGloryB: Guest 17--I don't think there's any one thing that is true of ALL dominants...except the simple fact that we find it very gratifying to take control...it gives us pleasure--physical, emotional, psychological or all three kinds.

Guest 17: I was just wondering because I do truly enjoy taking control

THRVGloryB: Is it exciting for you, Guest17?

Guest 17: Yes very much so

THRVGloryB: Any other doms want to pipe in? :)(Everyone's so callllllllllllm tonight. Or are they just tired? )

Guest 1: yep

Guest 4: I find it rewarding to see someone improve all facets of their life and know I was the catalyst to help that happen

THRVPashun: Go for it Guest 1:)

Guest 1: I call it the power kink Some go dom, some go sub, but we all find it irresistable.

THRVGloryB: The power kink, Guest1? You mean power is your fetish? :-) (it's MINE!)

Guest 17: Thanks GloryB

Guest 16: and let me add as a sub, the three items Gloria mentioned is what turns me on...serving a woman is emotional, psychological and physical and spiritual in a way

THRVHoney: Does anyone have a question for Glory?

THRVGloryB: Yes, it can be very spiritual too. Especially with one you love.

Guest 1: yes, power and control just gets me hot, makes me feel fully alive, fully present, even makes the dark nights shine.

THRVGloryB: Guest 1--I think many subs would say they feel the exact thing about their submission...it makes them feel totally alive and fully present.

Guest 1: I know, that's what I mean, it's the power kink, either you got it or you can't understand it.

Tnkrbell77: That's the way I feel.

THRVGloryB: And now as a lovely albeit sneaky segue...the main character in my new book (a submissive man) talks a lot about feeling that he is reborn and doubly alive when he becomes a slave.

Guest 4: I think what ya'll are saying is that the two partners complete each other and make a stronger whole for both

Guest 15: and there is nothing wrong with that is there?

Guest 1: not that I can see Guest15. :-)

Tnkrbell77: not at all Guest15....its good.

Guest 15: thanks Guest1 and Tnkr :) You've made me feel better...

THRVGloryB: Guest4--ideally they are in balance. Like yin and yang. :-)

Guest 18: ?

Guest 4: yes, Glory

THRVHoney: Guest19, you may go ahead with your question!

Guest 18: I have heard that a sub can take herself into the subzone without a Dom present or any type of physical touch is this really possible?

Guest 19: how does a sub Not become a doormat?

THRVGloryB: If she has an excellent creative imagination, yes, I believe she can. During fantasy, I mean. Many SMers have very creative imaginations...when they go into their fantasies, they can really pull up many...of the same feelings they have when they're doing BDSM. Would others agree?

Guest 1: (the sub finds a Dom who will treat her with respect)

Guest 21: Guest20, Gloria is perfect. Thanks!

Tnkrbell77: <--agrees with Guest1

Guest 14: I like to find ways to try to turn that fantasy into reality....

Guest 1: (or him) thanks tink :-)

Tnkrbell77: I agree...but the fantasy is no substitute for the reality.

THRVGloryB: No one agrees with me?! (stamping foot)

Tnkrbell77: I get part of the feeling... but not all.

Guest 4: Glory I agree..... for instance, teaching someone to cum on command is a proof of that

THRVGloryB: But enough for you to climax, eh, Tink? :-)

Tnkrbell77: Indeed Mistress. :-) I find "remembering" things which really happened take me to that place.

Guest 14: True... Spanking a woman's bottom is so much better than thinking about it..

THRVGloryB: Guest 4--is that one of your specialties?

Guest 4: Wanna find out? LOL heh heh heh

Guest 20: so spanking a mans..lol

Guest 1: tink, yer such a grin

Guest 3: lol Guest 4

THRVGloryB: Why, I'd be delighted to watch you work, Guest4. Thank you.

Guest 4: LOL LOL Ok ... My sub is here, watch carefully

Guest 3: lol

Guest 21: Glory do you deal with hypnosis?

THRVGloryB: I don't use hypnosis, Guest21. Tink is already hypnotized enough.

Tnkrbell77: <---is brainwashed

THRVPashun: Does someone have another question for Glory?:)

Guest 3: lol

Guest 8: lol

THRVGloryB: Brainwashed in the nicest possible sense of the word, of course.

Guest 4: Where is Eliza? we enjoy harassing her and getting her in trouble LOL

Guest 21: Glory when did you realize you had the power so to speak?

Tnkrbell77: Of Course.

THRVGloryB: Eliza got a late start home tonight. (She lives an hour away from us.) (She was in for the weekend.)

Guest 4: ahhhhhhhh ok

Guest 1: !

THRVPashun: go ahead, Guest 1:)

THRVGloryB: Guest 21--that I realized I was sexually dominant?

Guest 21: Yes? same thing

Guest 1: Gawd Glory, I'd love to be a fly on the wall in your house, jeez, I have enuf trouble keeping track of ONE sub, much less the complexities of a marriage and TWO of 'em.

Guest 4: Damn, Glory, we would have been delighted to have come over and watched yall work LOL LOL

THRVGloryB: Well...I've been aware I'm an SMer (clinically) since 1986 I started going to clubs, etc., in 1987. But I did have some experiences even as a girl where I was dominant. I just didn't know I "qualified" as an SMer.
:-)

Tnkrbell77: Guest4... You'd volunteer to be a fly on the wall?

Guest 21: do you remember your first sub?

THRVGloryB: Guest4--we like to call this place "House of a Thousand Screams."

Guest 4: LOL Tnkr.....

Tnkrbell77: hmm...perhaps we can sell tickets next time. :-)

THRVHoney: Ok, would anyone like to ask what will probably be the last question for the night?

Guest 4: LOL Glory.... we would bring my submissive dog... My sub has taught her to stop crying to be spanked and bark to demand it

Tnkrbell77: <---has contributed his share of the 1000 screams.

Guest 6: ?

THRVGloryB: My first sub? Hmmm. Do you mean the first man I ever explicitly dominated...

Guest 1: tink yer too much, She's done a great job with you.

Guest 21: Yes?

THRVHoney: Guest6, you have a question?

Tnkrbell77: :-)

Guest 6: GLory, have you ever been a sub?

THRVGloryB: Well...YES. I do, Guest21. I remember all the men I've dommed, I think. I hope. ;-I

Guest 20: lol

Guest 15: lol

THRVGloryB: Guest6, I've tried to be sub. I was not very good at it.

Guest 6: really?

THRVGloryB: I'm too dominant for my own good. ;-) Yep, is that surprising?

THRVPashun: I am sorry to say we are out of time for tonight :(

THRVGloryB: Ahahaha! And, gee, WHAT TIMING!

Guest 6: kind of?

THRVPashun: Remember to be here next week for our discussion of Glory's new book, DOMINA! Check your bookstores on July 24th! :)

Guest 6: Thanx, glory.

Guest 16: I don't think you can be too dominant for your own good, gloria.

Guest 15: thank you glory, I appreciate your help

THRVGloryB: Well, Guest6, nothing wrong with keeping people on their toes, is there? You're most welcome, Guest15.

Guest 6: not at all !!!

Guest 15: and everyone else's help too!

Guest 4: Pashun you party pooper

THRVGloryB: Errr! No, don't check bookstores! The book will only be available on-line for the first coupla months! Thanks everyone!

THRVPashun: awww :( oops

THRVHoney: Night everyone!

THRVPashun: Thank you all! See you next week :)

Tnkrbell77: Good night everyone.

THRVGloryB: Guest 8--let's talk about your issues again sometime, okay?

Guest 8: say when.

THRVPashun: Hugs and kisses everyone! ;)