Hi,

I have a quick legal issue if I may ask you.

Last sunday, This lady and I were together, where she was dominant and I was submissive, I ended up having to pay $250.00 for this, but in the beginning she wanted to do some CBT, which stands for Cock ball torture, I told her no, but through-out the time we were together she did some things to my private area that made it hurt, now there are marks or redness, almost like scratches of some sort on it, As I look at it now 2 days later. the marks look like there almost skin deep. She later offered to have sex with me, but I told her no because there was money involved.

Do you see anywhere I can press criminal charges against her?, if not what information is missing?

The house that we were at, I was told by her that it was her and indeed it wasn't, I talked to the property manager, and he told me 3 young ladies live their. I think its a female domination/prostitution house.

I am from Upstate, NY, I could really use any advise or suggestions to what I may do to get my money back from her or my legals options.

If you have any questions feel free to ask
Thank you
Bill

Hi lovable
After reading your post , could not help but respond ..
I will leave your legal answers to the Lawyer , though I could guess what they might be ..but I will add this
NEVER ! ever should anyone submit sexually or otherwise in a Dom/s situation to an unknown Person without investigating their background and standing in the community, Personally I do not believe that the best way to experience a D/s fantasy is through Prostitution this is not only extremely unsafe, but risky in many ways, you leave yourself open to robbery , bodily harm, sexual disease, mental harm , and those are just a few, there is no way of knowing how well trained if at all or knowledgeable they are, great harm could be caused even without intent.. there are so many well known organizations, and groups that can help get you acquainted with Others in this lifestyle that could hook you up,
 I'm very sorry for your negative experience.

~Taelyn~

Bill, don't touch a red hot stove, don't play three card monte and don't let strangers handle your intimate areas. Is that clear? Good. So, don't do it again.
    Prostitution involves more than one person and is an exchange of something of value for sexual services. If that happened, both the prostitute and the john may be charged. Get it? OK.
    What you describe may constitute assault and battery in your jurisdiction but it seems to me, from what you say, that it is questionable whether the possible public embarrassment, and consequent trouble not worth your time and effort.
    If you are injured you should seek medical advice now. If you are seriously injured, then you may want to consult a local attorney. How you would be compensated for your injury, I do not know, given the circumstances you delineate.
    Sometimes it is worth $250 for a lesson in life and certainly I think, given the PTL principle, I cannot see how you would implement the process for a refund.
    A general principle of life is that caution should be exercised at all times. You violated that principle. A corollary to that principle is that any subsequent cure for incautious actions should not be more detrimental to you that the original misstep.
    To say it another way, don't get in deeper unless you are willing to bear the consequences. I do not mean to minimize any sense of violation that you may feel, I simply say that you must consider your options rationally and concentrate on what is best for you.
  Good luck to you and see a local attorney, and a doctor please. F.R. McDermott

Hi,

Thank you for responding, I paid her to dominate me as a fantasy thing, she asked me if I wanted to have sex, I told her no because there was money involved. See, she is part of a group of girls who do this type of stuff as a business, and she told me that she and the other girls offer sex to certain guys, I was one of them, but I chose not too because of money being involved. They own a townhouse near syracuse which is very secure for them to do this hiding from everybody, In order to get into the townhouse you must go through the garage which hides them very well from being seen, that way no other people in the other townhouses can verify that they were there.

Did I do anything illegal??
What do you think of the idea if I report this to the police about these girls excepting money and then offering sex to certain guys, would they go through the same steps as I did to meet this girl to see if they get offered sex, when paying money. Basically what Im saying is would they go under cover to act submissive to see if they get offered sex and nail them in action??, or should I report this to their property manager?

I know the screen name that I can give to them, and they can reply to them and all they have to do it set a day and time and the girls will give out the address to their place.

I would like to hear a suggestions or advise you may have.
again thank you for responding.

Bill

Paying for sexual services is illegal everywhere that I know of, except for certain brothels in Nevada but in the circumstances that you describe, the legalities don't really matter.
 That said, it is not healthy to be obsessed with something that has gone wrong for you. If you are injured, medically or psychologically, seek professional advice. If you believe that you have made a mistake, that is curable. But stop and think. What is best for you? Leaving the situation alone and concentrating on yourself is sensible. To make yourself feel better, talk to someone. A professional would be best. Calm down and don't do anything rash. Rather, come to terms with what you want and understand that a misstep here and there is not the end of the world. Seeking love in all the wrong places is a common phenomenon and is no reflection on you.Regards, F.

My best friend and I are starting an escort service. We would also like to do live fetish/sex shows for a fee. How can we find out what is legally considered prostitution and what isn't? What are we allowed to let the client participate in? How far we can go without breaking the law? We both live in the Los Angeles area. Thank you for considering these questions.

You should consult a lawyer in your area before starting any business, even a lemonade stand.
That said, you can do some research yourself at the public library by looking at the state, county and municipal codes.
Usually, prostitution is the exchange of sexual services for anything of value.
Moreover, there may be other statutes that apply, as public lewdness or bawdy house statutes
The sex business, and that is what you are talking about, is highly regulated and frowned upon. Just as selling alcohol.
There is also a difference between what is tolerated and what is legal. Because the authorities may have winked at someone else for doing what you intend to do does not mean that they will not attack you.
So, get local legal advice and be candid. Regards, F.

Hello Mr. MeDermott -

It was my understanding (at least in TN when I lived there) that a "professional Dom" could provide services for a client IF there was no "sexual intercourse"...including oral or anal.
I knew of someone who provided "discipline sessions" - but SHE never rmoved her clothes or touched her client's genatelia. (?)

Anyway, I've a question -
I am supposed to be a "demonstration sub" at a BDSM workshop on corporal punishment.
I desire to do it a great deal.

I was told, however, by the presenter that he prefered to use corporal punishment when the model was nude.
I've been told that confidentiality is kept and this individual is well-known as well as the organization to which he belongs and for which he represents in the workshops.

I'm a bit concerned about the nudity part - and unsure of what legal ramifications could become risks.

Any feedback would be helpful.
Thanks so much

sublimity

I know nothing about TN law and cannot advise you on that. It seems to me that common sense dictates that if you have doubts and perceive risks, you should decline the offer. In other words, if you are proposing to put yourself in a peculiar position and if you relying on dubious and unsupported information from third parties, then the better part of wisdom is to graciously decline the invitation. And why not check out your exposure (I find myself resorting to cliches and puns in my answers) with competent professionals in your area?
Desire is, or should be, governed by reason. Safe play, I should think, includes thought as the act and the implications thereof. Regards, F.

Dear F.,
Perhaps I was a bit unclear in this question. My TN example was really not relative as I currently do not
live in TN.
The offer to "demontrate" is in an entirely different state from TN or from where I reside.
Let me try one more time, and if the advice still stands as before, then I will understand.
1) It is a *closed* "workshop";
2) Because of the BDSM nature of the workshop, the demonstrations will resemble "scening" at a closed party;
3) The nature of the demonstrations require a certain amount of bodily exposure.
So - while this may indeed be "entertaining," it is categorized as a "workshop."
I guess my question should have been:
    Are closed BDSM workshops in which partial, or full nudity occurs by one of the workshop participants - in general - considered a "legal" activity in the US - OR
is that something governed by STATE legistlation?
('Sorry...this was hard to put into specific terms.)
Thank you,
sublimity

Hi all,

   1) First, sorry if these questions are redundant.

   2) Under the area of paying money for 'sexual services': Does paying money to a lady where the man is performing cunnilingus/analingus to her a sexual service? (since she is really the one receiving the service).

   3) If in a professional D/S session, which usually ends in the man masturbating, if the mistress assists in that (e.g. using her feet to touch his genitals, erotic whipping, ...etc), is that 'sexual services' too?

  Thanks in advance.

Answers!

1. No problem.

2. YES. A prostitute sells you her body; what you do with it is negotiable according to price. Put another way: no cash, no vagina to lick.

3. Wrong. Pro sessions do not "usually" end up that way; some prodoms do it, some don't. If all the ones you've visited have allowed you to cum then you lucked out in your choices. Next, you aren't paying a prodom for her body but for her psychodramatic skills. Professional domination is considered sex work but not all sex work is prostitution (e.g., stripping, phonesex, etc.) So you wouldn't say that she is offering sexual services but instead domination services.

Does that help?

Gloria

Thanks for the feedback. So, I am guessing that the answer to the third point is no. I would beg to differ with you on that professional domination sessions do not usually, not always, end in some form of sexual release. I understand that BDSM can be a spiritual power exchange experience, but if a hypothetical survey is done on the hundreds of professional dominas in NY, most of their sessions will include that. I should also add that I had sessions where I was never offered that. In general, the more 'lifestyler' is the lady, the less likely this will happen. At least, not in your first session.
   I lately have been asking not to have that done in a session, but I still remember a session in a famous house of domination in NY, where I was 'punished' because I could not release myself.
   Just a humble different perspective.

Oh, please feel free to beg, camp! Throw a little groveling in, and you've got my attention. ;-)

OK, you make a good point that my perspective is based on "more lifestyler" women. And is also biased by having entered the scene in the 80s when most of the prodoms were actually INTO SM. Since the mid/late 90s, when SM started getting trendy, I've seen a flood of of folks who I believe would never be in the scene if not for the profit potential. And, since they (in my never humble opinion) don't quite "get" SM (because it is not their sexual orientation), they seem to treat sessions a little more like a phonesex worker or prostitute (i.e., expecting the session to culminate in orgasm) than, well, a femdom (who is seriously into the control and psychodrama and more likely to consider cumming a privilege to be granted only on whim).

Tell me, what attracts you to the "less lifestyle" type Mistress? Is it because the orgasm is important to you and you sought out the women most likely to allow it? Are these women you visit at pro-houses or do you find them on the Web or through escort services?

Gloria

I think my original question in this thread has given me a bad image :). I have sought the services of an escort type of dominatrix only once in my life (honestly). All of the others are mistresses at domination houses or independent. In addition, in the last few sessions, I usually avoid releasing myself. One reason is that I do not get sexually excited by the session action itself, but rather by thinking about it.
   I do not usually seek the ladies who are not lifestylers, but the fact is this word is widely overused. If we check the different web sites of professional dommes, a lot of them will mention they are lifestylers. At best, some of them use the term loosly with flexible definitions. At worst, some of them use it to stimulate some brain cells in the submissive's brain.
   Personally, I prefer the lifestylers, but they may not be easy to identify/pursue, or there may be a lack of chemistry for some other reason.

Hello, In this area you have to think in these terms " Sexual gratification in return for anything of value" may be regarded as prostitution. If so, that is chargeable against both giver and receiver. So beware and know how things work. Regards, F.

Tell me, if you have any knowledge on the backround of this law...

Why is prostitution illegal, yet free sex is perfectly fine?

EEP! Success .... Don't go and jinx Free SEX!

LOL

success,

Hi :-)

I liked your question and did some reading up on prostitution.
First I read that prostitution was the granting of "sexual access for payment" and that because of an epidemic of sexually transmitted diseases in the 16th century Europe, there was a major effort to control prostitution and public health concerns motivated regulatory legislation. This continued at least until 1959.

Then I read a quote that I felt was thought-provoking:

"Prostitution is the supreme triumph of capitalism...
Worst of all, prostitution reinforces all the old dumb ciches about women's sexuality; that they are not built to enjoy sex and are little more than masturbation aids, things to be DONE TO, things so sensually null and void that they have to be *paid* to indulge in fornication, that women can be had, bought, as often as not sold, from one man to another. When the sex war is won prostitutes should be shot as collaborators for their terribe betrayal of all women, for the moral tarring and feathering they give indigenous women who have had the bad luck to live in what they make their humping ground."
-Julie Burchill (b. 1960), British Journalist, author.
DAMAGED GODS, "Born Again Cows" (1986).
~~~~~~
Just one author's POV.
I did like the idea about how prostitution can represent perceiving the prostitute as nu ad void - just some sex aid to be paid for.

Sublimity

Thanks for sharing that--it is interesting.

But I think the feminist logic here doesn't go quite far enough. She's looking at it from a masculine perspective and subtly suggesting that the person who first thought up the idea of prostitution was a pimp; that's why she sees prostitutes as "collaborators" rather than as the ones in charge. Prostitution isn't IMO "a supreme triumph of capitalism," but just another tedious manifestation of capitalism, certainly no more malign or nefarious than Disney.

Seriously, this writer is still buying into the idea of all power being male power, and prostitutes and sex-workers being people who uphold the male power model.

How about the facts that most sex-workers see men as dupes--fools who can be manipulated through their hormones (or, put more bluntly, led around by their cocks)--and are as savvy at exploiting their clients as the casinos in Vegas exploit compulsive gamblers?

Like most people, the author assumes that sex for money is somehow worse than singing for money or <gasp> writing for money. I don't make that assumption. How about you? (Others invited to answer too ! *g*)

hugs,
Glory

*who never underestimates the independent power of women to commit evil as well as good

......

Don't even get me started on Disney........ -_-

Wow, Glory - deep thoughts ;)

I love what you said:
"How about the facts that most sex-workers see men as dupes--fools who can be manipulated through their hormones (or, put more bluntly, led around by their cocks)--and are as savvy at exploiting their clients as the casinos in Vegas exploit compulsive gamblers."

While I've never been a "sex-worker," I once did something *similar* and did think - "these guys are idiots to pay this much for this!"
So----I can see that happening.

Sex for money?? Hmmm...
*I* personally would not *pay* for it.

If I were going to "give it" (sex) to someone(s) I did not care about, yes - I'd expect to be paid *royally*.

I cannot give a personal opinion about if money for sex is worse than money for singing or writing.
I believe it carries more risks - and I just know that I do not think I'd be happy doing it.

BTW, what the author above wrote was the negative side as success was wondering why prostitution was illegal.
I read quite a few excerpts that took more of the flip side - just did not post them.

Sublimity

*who naively overestimates the independent proclivity of all people to possess goodwill towards others.

He who hesitates masturbates. Or calls for delivery.

Justin Medlin

*amen on the evil women thing*

All very interesting if unformed. In the law prostitution is defined by statute. Usually, these days, prostitution is described as the granting of "sexual gratification for anything of value". This is vague and meant to be. What is a statute? A law written by the staff of a legislator, usually a lawyer, in a state legislature and passed by a majority of such after negotiation. Why seek to control this behavior? Well, we might look at the problem of illegitimate children or the problem of disease or the problem of the conditions surroundings prostitution as coercion, drugs and general disorganization in an urban setting. In the US this is a state and local issue. And it is a issue. Society is an organized group of people. Prostitution disorganizes. It introduces an element of chance. Usually it is not the act itself that is problematical. It is the surrounding conditions. So, a pimp forces compliance, by this and that. Or, a prostitute becomes pregnant. Or a john is coerced.
     The rational way to preserve an organized society, given the proclivity of humans to behave badly, is to decriminalize the giving of sexual services for anything of value but to punish bad behavior. Bad behavior is anything that involves coercion. Or random violence. The act itself is benign or neutral, if there is no result be.