I live in a really rural location, in a NH town of about 700 people. We have 300+ acres, with the entrance about a mile from the village, off of several dirt roads.

We're having a party this weekend and I want to put some of the equipment out in my yard. (Like a St. A's cross, some spanking benches, etc.) Is it legal to let people walk around naked on my property?

It's highly unlikely that anyone from the town would come to my house, but what if a dirt bike rider drove by? If he saw naked people and told the town cop, could they do anything?

Or should I tell the town cop up front? (Which I hate to do, because he's a busy-body bored town cop.)

Should I put up a barrier of some sort at the end of our driveway, which is almost 1000 feet long, wooded, announcing a private party, or is that just asking the town cop to see what's up?

Thanks for whatever advice and help you can give,

Lisa

I have never even been in New Hampshire. I have been in Vermont but I understand that it is very different there. So, I am completely ignorant of your local laws but I do understand that NH is very conservative.
  I do have some general thoughts. If you have your equipment displayed as art objects, that is one thing but if you intend to use them outside, it is a different matter. Public lewdness and indecent and peculiar practices tend to arouse great interest in the authorities and the neighbors and the newspapers. Probably there is a crime there somewhere and if someone complains, you have a problem.
   Nudity in public is illegal everywhere that I know of. That includes standing in your front window after you get out of the shower. If someone sees it, I should think that you have a problem. Oddly, the crime of being nude in public is, in my experience and you should check your local laws, preferably in consultation with an NH lawyer, a general intent crime. That is, you may intend that no one sees you but if they do, you take the consequences.
This is the oft-stated priniciple, and stated by me, of don't do it in the streets and scare the horses.
As for discussing matters with the police beforehand, that is a delicate matter. If Barney and Andy are the only police likely to be involved and if you have a good relationship with them, it might be a good idea. If they like you they are probably going to say don't do it.
Of course, there are state troopers everywhere so if one happens by or if, not to be too conspiratorial, the local cops lie to you saying they don't care and the state cops show up to bust you, don't be surprised.
Now the foregoing is more in the nature of common sense than legal advice that I can't provide in NH. You should take my remarks as general and cautionary. But why not spend $50 for a consultation with a local attorney? At least you would have someone to call if things go wrong.
BTW, your local laws, including county ordinances, etc., are available in your local library, why not read them?
Anyway, good luck with your party and you would be very well advised to be very conservative and paranoid until you know where you stand legally. Best wishes, F.
Regards, F.

Thank you very much. My husband said "I told you so!" I thought that if we were on our private property, which is very very remote and rural, whatever we did was fine. I mean, if someone walks 800 feet down a private driveway and sees naked people, I can't understand how that could be criminal.

But to be safe, we're going to restrict any nudity to behind the house, and put equipment on the back deck.

New Hampshire is generally a "live free or die" state, but we will play it safe.

Thanks again, and hopefully I'll post again after and tell you I was worried about nothing!

Yup, I worried about nothing. No one showed up at all, and we were able to play in the back without incident. People could (and did) make as much noise as they wanted, which is one of the benefits of living very rural and being kinky.

Pictures of some of the equipment posted in my journal ... 8/27 entry.

http://www.section12.com/users/lisa_s12

Well, that is good and I am sorry that I was not invited. Play safe please. Regards, F.

Those who are interested in the problems of private parties might want to look at the Paddleboro site. The case has been resolved happily for the principals. After almost one and a half years. The case is similar to the Spanner case in the UK which did not have a happy ending. Both cases have to do with consensual BDSM in a private party context.
And both cases will give you an idea of the problems that are inherent in staging scenes in a private context. Regards, F.

1 keywest14 Edit 2001-11-16 12:26
I just recently consented with my guy friend that all I wanted was "a sexual slave relationship". He made me put it in writing through e-mail. What does that mean?

The other night, he blindfolded me, and handcuffed me. I noticed he kept getting in and out of the bed, and our sexual play was different than usual. When I was checking out of my room the next morning, I found a camrecorder tripod leaning next to the dresser. I called and left a message to see if it was his, and never heard back from him. I guess I busted him. I trusted this man, and now I think he did a movie of me without my consent. What should I do now to protect myself?

Why would you consent to a sex slave relationship, without understanding?

Someone made a video of me double fisting a woman once
but I was aware of the video being made.

What pissed me off was I didn't get a copy of it.

Steel

I did have a pic made of me once that I didn't agree to. I said, "do not" but she did anyway.

She sent the pic to me in email once, it wasn't as bad as I thought. You could "see" but not my face.

Was wasn't a bad pic to show the marks from the crop.

Steel

You hit the nail on the head, Steel. Keywest, though I am sorry to hear that you were upset or hurt by this, if you consent to be someone's slave, what do you expect? Slavery means you are giving up control to someone else so they may do whatever they wish with you. Did you not understand this, or did you have pre-set limits/rules that should have stopped him from taping you?

If he tricked you somehow, or forced you to do something without your consent, you might have legal recourse. Did he? Or did he just do something you hadn't expected?

Steel>>:Someone made a video of me double fisting a woman once

Ummm, is that 'double' as in TWO fists are better than one???? Oh my God! I know I'm still a bit naieve but I've never heard of TWO fists........uummmm...in THERE!

Hugs,
deb

No, it was more like;
Ahhhh! in there!

Well, I don't know what you agreed to in your email. It indicates that if you agree to certain acts but don't want them recorded then you should specifically say, in writing and keep a copy, that you do not agree to recording such acts.
Of course, such a tape might appear anywhere or everywhere.
You should consider consulting an attorney and see if there is a possibility of bringing an action that would include restraining him from copying and distributing the tape and delivering the original to you for destruction. That might or might not work. Good Luck, F.

There is one further possible recourse and a warning. Many, if not most jurisdictions have statutes prohibiting recording a person without that person's permission. It is possible that such a statute might apply in your case. These statutes provide for criminal and, sometimes, civil penalties. I don't know if your email gave or implied permission. If it did not there may be a violation. But, if you were engaged in acts on that tape that are not legal in your jurisdiction, you may have some jeopardy. For example, sodomy is illegal in many places altho it is a common practice. So, see an attorney in your area and find out where you stand before you take action. I would do so promptly. Regards, F.

I feel that consent is vital. That and a clear understanding of your dom/sub is wanting to do or have done to them. I was wondering how common is it for d/s to have an actual consent form signed and will or have such forms ever stood up in a court of law?

No one can consent to this sort of thing. It is a personal agreement. It is not a legal contract. That is, it is not enforceable. No court will countenance this sort of submission. It is simply not understandable in the law. So, forget it. And why would you need a validation of your relationship from a jumped up lawyer wearing a robe? Enjoy your space and best wishes, F.

Thanks for all your replies. I am new at the d/s relationship. After researching, I found that we had never set limitations. This needed to be done. Since this event, I have not heard from him. He is a very prominent business man, and I feel he might be scared of what action I may be able to take. He tried to video us before, and I said "no". I asked for the tape, and he said it was just for his viewing, and the tape ended up not good. I guess he feels he got "busted" when I found the tripod. I would have not been with him if I didn't trust him, why must he sneak to do this? What kind of lawyer would you see about this?

I was recently involved in a scene with my Master, whom with all scenes previously have gone immensely well and created a VERY intense, enjoyable bond between us. Nevertheless, this last scene we did (I will not describe since that isn't the issue), I almost fainted. My friend, a paramedic, was watching (thank goodness) and took necessary measures to make sure I was alright when it happened.

After all this, My Master and I were rather freaked out. After speaking at length about the situation, we came across a dilemma. What if, in the middle of a future scene, I happen to faint or have a seizure or whatever, and he has to take me to the emergency room? If the doctors or paramedics see that I have marks on my body from his ministrations, will they be obligated to file charges against my Master and take him to jail? I do not know the laws in Texas regarding this, so I need to find out. Are there recorded accounts out there of bdsm'ers that have been legally detained even when both partners agree that that activity was consensual?

Obviously, I do not want my Master to ever land in jail. Please post replies.

You are wise to be concerned. I am unaware of the particular laws in Texas, but you should assume that there are reporting requirements that bind the medical staff to make a report of what appears to be abuse. Should that report be made, then there will be legal problems. Here is a possible scenario, a report is made, explanations are given, charges are nonetheless brought, submissive declines to testify, submissive is subpoenaed and threatened with penalties for failure to testify. Then what?
      The best cure is prevention. Play safe. There is a wealth of advice concerning how to do so. You and your partner have a personal responsibility to learn. If you are going too far, then stop. Congratulations on having a paramedic present but this has apparently been a wake up call. Further, in today's society and if you are doing things that may involve you in a legal contretemps you should contact a local attorney and be frank. Consultations cost about $50.00 on the average and give you a professional to call if there is a problem. Again, prevention. Re-examine what you do in your relationship and play safe. Regards, F.

Ok I have some doctors I know and trust who understand that I am truly consenting to This BDSM. They also know that I am not crazy or being manipulated to consent! I feel very good and safe seeing them.

However, I must admit I am scared that if I get into an accident and need emergency treatment and am unable to tell them That I have consented they will pull the Law into it.

You see there are times I experience bruising. I was wondering if There was anyway I could protect my husband.

After all the uneducated professional might see the bruising and assume that I have been abused.I know that in many states the cop can file the complaint without the wife filing it. My husband is the most gentle man I know outside of our Sceneing and I had to practically beg him to become my Dom.

So if it is possible to protect him I would like to! What can I do and how would you go about protecting him if you were me!

Thanks,
Keeper's Kitty

This is far from the same thing but
A few years back, there was this cute little blonde
who decided to beat the hell out of me. It was bad.
Her neighbors called the police/ambulance.

They could do nothing because I had no witness and she denied every thing. It was my word against hers even though I was literally beat in the face AND the glass on her front door was broken from my trying to get away.

But they had no proof.
Nothing was done to the bitch.

Steel

Kitty,

I've wondered the same thing. My internist is aware of my kink (as are shrinks I've seen). They've all been comfortable and supportive. If unknowing or biased docs saw me after play (although I don't bruise that easily), I wondered what they might think or do?

I mentioned this to two different folks I've played with - both ER nurses. One is a bottom, the other a top with a sadistic streak. Each said, no big fuckin' deal. They've seen it before as have most of the ER staff. I would have no problem discussing/revealing it if/when necessary (assuming I was alert). While possibly embarrassing, it beats (lol) having objects extracted from various and sundry body cavities. Maybe I'm naive, maybe brave, but I'm willing to do what I must to preserve health and sanity.

:)
Paul

Steel,

What about the glass?? DNA or something??
Could they not have done *something* to prove it if you had "pushed it?"
I think the neighbors calling would mean something (?)

(That cute little blonde needed to be put in jail <grrr>)

'limity

There is a question about duty to report. I do not know what that is in your jurisdiction. Rough sex is fairly common but, given the sensitivity to domestic violence now it may become an issue. It may also become an issue if your partner goes beyond your tacit agreement about what is proper. I do not think that there is a good answer. Many people make an agreement and reduce it to writing. Altho reducing such to a writing is extremely problematical. And can cut both ways. In other words, coercion as well as consent is always implied and consent unclear and an admission is an admission. I do not think that you can protect your partner, ultimately, from questions, should you be bruised. Of course, the answer is PLAY SAFE. and, of course, my constant refrain, get yourself a lawyer on call. A kink aware professional if possible. Sad really, sex should not be so complicated. BE CAREFUL , protect yourself and your pal and good luck, F.

I have two questions.....

1. Can a cop or some goverment board really lay charges
against you because some site clicked you to them and it wasn't approriate for that state, even if you never really looked at it. You know how they redirect you to there site even if you don't want to go there?

2. How can I stop this is it legal to do that?

If they can that really feels like entrapment. I never asked to go there they took me there!

Keeper's Kitty

Hi, kitty. Again, though I'm not a lawyer, I'm pretty sure that you have NOTHING to worry about in such a case. What cops/feds look for are offenders, i.e., people who actively participate in, operate, distribute or contribute to sites containing illicit materials. If you get an email that forces your browsers to open to a porn site or, conversely, think you're visiting one site only to be automatically sent to another site, you are actually a victim of illegal operators, and I'm pretty sure that is how the law would see you (if they ever even bothered tracking down your email, which is pretty dubious).

Glory

Kitty,

I committed no crime, but was asked by the FBI for my computer. I willingly gave it over - to be helpful -
and never gave a second thought to all of the "sites" I had bookmarked.
They, of course, could get to my deleted sections as the computer had not been deprogrammed.

I would think that some of my "sites" would have been considered "illegal"(??) I don't know. I've never thought about it before.

And what you are saying is perhaps not at all the same thing ---but nothing was ever said to me except "thank you" and when the monitor got broken being returned through the mail, they sent a check to pay for its replacement.

Sublimity

While it may be against the law to convict someone this way, it doesn't mean that someone without the financial resources to fight their state or federal government can't be ram-rodded though some terrible experiences. Locally, a man who recieved some unsolicited child porn in his e-mail attempted to turn it in to the FBI so they could possible track down the scum who sent it to him. The local FBI office being somewhat dissorganized, didn't follow up with him on obtaining the disk he'd copied the e-mail and it's attachment to, so he never got the disk to them. Until they decided to raid his hime, confiscate his computer, and charge him with possesion of child porn. The last I heard, he was still fighting the charges.

I'd recommend that if you end up directed to a site that has illegal content, you locate the menu in your web browser that allows you to clear out your cache. Or go straight to the directory where internet files are kept "temporarily" and delete everything you find there. I think under Windows, it's under c:\windows\Temporary Internet Files or something like that.

Never underestimate a government employee's ability to willfully ignore common sense.

Omega, good point. There's another option: file a complaint against the site with the Feds or one of the Net watch sites that is trying to close down illicit (child) porn. I sometimes get SPAM that tries to lure me to sites with underage models and I do my best to report each one I get.

If you are contacted by any law enforcement authorities you should immediately find a lawyer. Posession of illegal materials is a serious matter, even if inadvertent. An example is the passenger in your car with a marijuana. You are liable despite the fact that you have nothing to do with the offending substance. Regards, F.

And I'm a little embarassed to even be asking it.

Here is the situation: girlfriend and I just split for, among other reasons, the fact that I am bisexual and she is not comfortable with that. I tested HIV negative as well as negative for other STD's after the six month "window" period of no possible exposure. During every sexual encounter with her I used latex condoms properly from start to finish and no body fluids were exchanged, and during the time she and I were sexually active she was my only partner, and at current time there is no other partner.

She has informed me that she is going to be tested for HIV and if she has it, she will know where to come and seek damages from me. Never mind that I am negative (she thinks I forged the test results), never mind that we were safe (she believes that condoms are not really protection against HIV), never mind that during our relationship she was my only partner (she doesnt believe me). If she is positive, she says she knows it was from me because of my sexual orientation and says if she does test positive she will seek revenge.

There is a very good chance that she COULD test positive, but not from me. The partner before me did not use condoms with her and had a history of IV drug use prior to meeting her. She as a rule does not use condoms but "only dates safe, heterosexual men" to avoid HIV, I won't even comment on the maturity of that statement.

My question is: if, she did in fact test positive, could she legally sue me for damages? And, what would I need to do if this happened? CAN it even be done? She also feels the need to talk to the counselor at the STD clinic where I was tested to see their copy of the results. It is my understanding that all test results are to be kept confidential and not discussed.

I could just be overreacting to her hysteria, I just want to know if this can in fact be done and if so what I need to do.

Sorry to butt in here - I don't know anything about the legal side, but ....... It sounds as if the chances of YOU being HIV positive are pretty slim, so even if SHE was positive, how could she claim she contracted it from you? It sounds like she's having a bit of a post-break up tantrum. Hopefully she will soon realise that she doesn't have a case and drop it.

All of which shows that there is no such thing as safe sex. And anybody can be sued anytime for anything. Of course, if you are negative then you should win. If you are sued then the toll for you is the price of a lawyer to defend. I would suggest that you make sure that all of the evidence indicating that you are faultless is secured. Regards, F.

>Sorry to butt in here - I don't know anything about the legal side, but ....... It sounds as if the chances of YOU being HIV positive are pretty slim, so even if SHE was positive, how could she claim she contracted it from you?<

Her argument is strictly due to the fact that I am bisexual and "all bisexual men carry HIV". You cannot reason with her on this. It's homophobic hysteria as well as what I fear may be a slight mental imbalance.

>It sounds like she's having a bit of a post-break up tantrum. Hopefully she will soon realise that she doesn't have a case and drop it.<

Yeah, I'm working on that right now. Trying to reason with her, she has seen my test results-in fact has copies-so hopefully she will drop it. My main question was just #1: can people sue for this; #2: if they do what do I do and #3: what legal protection I would need.

>All of which shows that there is no such thing as safe sex.<

Or as I put it sometimes, "safer sex is about a lot more than just latex".

>And anybody can be sued anytime for anything. Of course, if you are negative then you should win. If you are sued then the toll for you is the price of a lawyer to defend. I would suggest that you make sure that all of the evidence indicating that you are faultless is secured.<

Well-that it is. Hopefully as I mentioned to Jewel I can get her to drop this entire issue and try to go about this in a more civil manner. Thanks for the advice, I wasn't entirely sure if this was even a case the courts would take.

...considered a crime against the state, and not the victim? I think the state, through a DA could press charges against a wife batterer even if the wife refuses to do so. What does the state have to do with anyone's personal life?

Not being a lawyer, I'm not positive, but I believe that being a crime against the "State" is what makes it possible for the "State" to prosecute the "abuser" with or without the "consent" and aid of the "victim". It has been my experience that many abused women will not prosecute their abuser for fear of retaliation. Making the crime a "State" crime takes the prosecution out of the hands of the victim and places it in the hands of the "State", ensuring that, if sufficient evidence is present, i.e. broken bones, bruises, etc., a prosecution will take place. Takes the burden of "pointing the finger" from the back of the abused.

Knyghtflyher

A crime is an offense against the state. It is an offense against the primary function of the state, which is to preserve order. If a complainant refuses to testify, a complainant is one who makes a complaint, then that person may be compelled to testify or be penalized. This all makes sense, I think. Regards, F.

Thank you all, for your responses.

I asked partially because of the recent events with wrestler Steve "Austin" Williams and his wife. Apparently, his wife felt threatened enough to call the police, yet refused to press charges, leading to speculation on whether or not the DA might follow up.

Secondly, a friend of mine has a sister who entered into a marriage that was doomed from the start. Within three months, they ended up at each other's throats on a regular basis, and he has been known to slap her around and physically abuse her on occasion. However, for some reason she's refused to press charges and also continues to live with him in the same home, a home her parents paid for perhaps, but still with an unstable man.

Now, her family refuses to call the police on her behalf for fear of retaliation on his part... Probably rightfully so.

I'm a little muddy on a few points. Is it considered pretty solid evidence of abuse when a wife calls the police in, even if she refuses to press charges? If my friends family decided to get involved, would they have much more to prove to convince the state to intervene, since the abused party hasn't actually taken action on her behalf like Williams wife did?

I agree with the concept of State intervention in true abuse cases, but I could also think of a lot of hypothetical scenarios where the system could either be abused, or perhaps confused.......