Copyright Catherine Gross 2002, not for reproduction or duplication without permission.

Models of service and hierarchal structures have been functioning for centuries. Some of the reasons for this are: a) efficiency; b) practicality; and c) a means to achieve order and clarity. Such a structure can be indicative of good management.

History provides models such as feudal houses, biological families and the military. Modern SM communities provide examples via affectional families, vampiric families and SM houses. Each of these unique structures has point, purpose, and function. They are constructions that suit the need of those who choose to engage them.

If we examine SM today, some of the most common titles bestowed are boy, girl and slave. These have become general all purpose titles and descriptions. While these titles are useful, they lack specificity. Perhaps we have lost an exquisite exacting language which better enables us to communicate who we are, what our place is, what our skill set consists of, and we how function within our chosen structures.

The models from the present and past provide options to define our current tailor-made D/S stations. Some of these stations are: first boy, domo, butler, second, valet, Lady’s maid, domestic or companion. Each of these positions denotes a specified skill set. These skill sets are learned, honed and practiced. They each entail understanding the history of your position, the possibilities thereof, and the physical movements that speak to your refinement. Mere submission is not adequate. Your title is earned just as your skill set is learned. If you are fortunate to occupy several stations over time, your title will serve as a vivid description of the skill sets you possess, not merely a title held for a time.

These titles also speak to precise, clear expectations of what behaviors we may expect from one holding such a title. Clarity in our relationships is a defining component of successful relationships. Successful relationships may include: a) openness; b) honesty; c) clarity of your status in the relationship; d) clear communication; e) unambiguous and consistent boundaries; f) good organized management skills; and g) originality, flexibility and tailor made relationships as we are each unique.

If some of the following components present, they may interfere with the success of your D/S relationships: a) jealousy; b) competition; c) keeping secrets; d) inconsistent enforcement of rules; e) lack of clarity; f) not allowing people to form their own relationships to each other (for structures that have multiple members); and g) lack of sexual clarity.

In closing, understanding the detailed nature and specificity of each position may aid you in discerning your own goals in SM, previously unknown options of service and/or management, your needs regarding clarity, communication and full understanding. Each relationship must reflect the individuality of those participating in that relationship, however, let’s educate ourselves to the tried and true possibilities of what those relationships might entail.

That's what I think-- what do you think?