Welcome to the ask anything corner. : )

I've shared with all of you several topics that have been on my mind. Please share with me the topics and questions that have been on your mind.

So, put it out there folks-- this is the ask me anything corner.

Catherine

What is the basis for what you hold dear and how you believe and how you live your life? And how does it directly relate to how you run your business, classes, family and personal (companion) relationships?

Justin Medlin

<<What is the basis for what you hold dear and how you believe and how you live your life?>>

The basis is my value system. A lot of the values I live by, you've seen in other posts. Here's a bit of it here.

I'm not allowed to harm anyone. When I am able to help someone who needs it, I will. I don't raise my voice and if I do I apologize. I am not allowed to lie to make my life more comfortable or make decisions from a place of fear. I must take responsibility for my life and everything I co-create in it. I must answer to my sense of intregrity. I must behave in a civilized manner (that means manners, not losing my temper, etc.). I say what I mean, I mean what I say and I stand behind my principles even if I stand alone. I don't allow public opinion to rule my life. I am comfortable with being loved and loathed. It allows me a freedom in my person and life that is unequaled. It allows me to be honest because I don't fear rejection or jugdement. It allows me to live my best life.

These are foundational. It's my sense of ethics, morals and I would say that 90% of it came from when I was owned. I lived according to the ethics of the man who owned me.

<<And how does it directly relate to how you run your business, classes, family and personal (companion) relationships? >>

It relates because it's the bottom line of how I make decisions. It's a structure that works for my life and bleeds into everything I do and am.

As to my family, personal relations and classes I give, I attempt to provide an example. That also means that if it's useful, I will provide a account of what I was wrong or mistaken. I attempt to show by example how one makes the hard decisions. My actions must match my words. I attempt to do that everyday.

Catherine

With all of the public recognition that you have received, as well as having been witness to at least one time where you seemed to stand publicaly alone due to your beliefs, I think you are very successful in your daily endeavor. What, to you, was your greatest failure and how were you able to rectify it to your own satisfaction?

Justin Medlin

What is the greatest challenge/problem that you see facing the public community and if you were hired to "fix it" what would your plan be and why?

Justin Medlin

<<What, to you, was your greatest failure and how were you able to rectify it to your own satisfaction? >>

This could be a long list. I've made many errors. It's difficult to narrow it down to a "greatest." So, I will only talk about what I feel is one of the biggest mistakes I have made in the last three years. Especially because I feel that one mistake lead to a string of mistakes. So here goes....

I took on another boy when my current boy was having issues and my boy had just shifted duty positions with me. I didn't believe my boy when he told me certain things about the new boy because I thought his version was inaccurate. I was painfully and horribly mistaken.

This period of strife lead to a moment on my part which was nothing short of stupidity. I was on the phone to my cherished property who had just switched duties and she asked after a duty she had had for some time. I was impatient and thoughtless, I said, no don't worry about so-and-so will replace you. I meant in that duty. That was not what was heard. I hurt my property terribly. I wish I had taken a deep breathe and spoken with deliberation. My property didn't tell me of her feelings for three months.

When I heard about it, I took each of them aside and apologized (the full anatomy of an apology too), then I brought them together and apologized again with both of them there. I listened, I gave amends and when I apologized I did not cut myself slack. I did everything in my power that I could.

In my mind, I did everything I could do. However, was this situation concluded in a manner that satisfied me? No. I never should have said what I said and as an owner, impatience and a flippant mouth isn't becoming or up to the standards I have set for myself.

My property also never forgave me. By the time I was told of this it had gotten so big for my property that I don't think she could forgive me. It was truly the beginning of the end of a relationship that I cherished just short of my own life.

So, there you have it. That one was a big one-- a costly one too.

Catherine

<<What is the greatest challenge/problem that you see facing the public community and if you were hired to "fix it" what would your plan be and why? >>

This is quite a question. I am not sure I am qualified to speak to this definitively but I will do my best.

Some of the large problems I see are:
  
a) we have defined "real" in a manner that is too limiting (i.e. you aren't real unless you're 24/7) to include all of who we are and that definition is demeaning to what I suspect is the majority of our communities;

b) we seem to lack the spine and backbone to exclude players who are abusive and/or criminals; and

c) our methodology for teaching and passing on information is as badly lacking as is the curriculum of our schools that don't teach our children self-esteem skills, communication and how to be honest regarding who they are as individuals.

If I was god for a day, my fixes would be:

For a) I would make classes for self regard mandatory where the goal for people would be to attain such a solid self knowledge that they wouldn't fear judgment or rejection from others. I believe the result of this would be a need to be balanced with their personal sense of integrity that would be so strong as to overwhelm any need to fit in and therefore claim to be 24/7. This internal value would in turn allow them to accept others as they are without passing judgment as well. At that point, no one would give a flip who was 24/7 and who was not.

To solve b), please see my answer for a. Personal integrity would take care of it soundly. It would be unthinkable to allow such ruffians free rein.

To solve c) I have a few ideas but honestly, none of them are adequate. We have so many in need and so few who not only survived and prospered but mostly importantly, have the ability to teach. So, my answer for the moment is to continue to hope.

Also, as a final note, I'm merely answering questions with my opinion-- I certainly do not have all the answers to magically transform our communities.

Catherine

I am quite impressed with your presentations, Catherine. You definetly rock :-)

TooLoose :-)

Thanks, TooLoose. I appreciate that. I'm enjoying all of you.