NETIQUETTE

A Concise Guide to Good Manners On-Line

© 1994-1996 by Gloria G. Brame

First published (in revised form) in KNOW-HOW Magazine, October 1994

When Jean joined her first BBS she was so eager to make a good impression, she greeted all the world: "HI, MY NAME IS JEAN! I'M NEW HERE!"

"Take a Valium!" someone shot back in an angry note the next day, "And shut off your cap locks! You're screaming!"

Poor Jean: she had unwittingly committed a major cyber- faux pas. Typing in all capital letters is the on-line equivalent of greeting acquaintances at a sophisticated cocktail party by howling like a hyena.

If you don't want to be branded as a boor, an oaf, or a compu-nerd, brush up on your Netiquette.

BE A VOYEUR!

Mother always said it was rude to stare: but in cyberspace, it's polite. Always "lurk" before you leap into electronic conversations. Message boards are like small towns, with their own customs, ethos, and community standards. Read messages until you get a sense of the style and flavor of a board, and the topics being discussed. Nothing is more painful to observe than the struggling newbie valiantly beginning a discussion of a topic that's just been chewed to rags.

Hot Tips:

Lurk in the message area for at least a week.

Learn the names of regulars so that when you begin posting you know who's who.

Observe both the content and style of the posted messages and adapt your own contributions accordingly.

SAY HI

Lurking isn't forever; after a while, you stop being a casual voyeur and turn into a compulsive peeping tom. So, once you've picked up a sense of place, leave a message about yourself. But don't go overboard: a new user on one BBS I visit just uploaded his resume, a scintillating glimpse into the glamorous jet-set world of public accountancy.

Also, keep in mind that thousands of people may read what you write. Would you walk into a single's bar with your phone number scribbled on your forehead? Unless you enjoy the adrenalin rush that comes when a cyberstalker invites him or herself over to your house, NEVER list your phone number, address, place of employment, or other personal contact information on a public message board.

Hot Tips:

Address your message "TO: ALL." Don't oblige any specific participants to welcome you. Let people decide for themselves if your interests are compatible with their own.

List general information about yourself, such as basic biographical background, professional interests or hobbies.

Keep it brief. A few facts, especially those that demonstrate you belong in this community, are all you need.

FLAME WARS

If you think the fires in Kuwait were spectacular, you will love your first flamewar. Otherwise civilized people suddenly transform into cyber-commandoes: they grapple violently with each other's words, disembowel meanings, and verbally stomp their opponents with the gusto of an irate apartment dweller crushing a cockroach. And those are the nice flamewars.

Etiquette is a flamewar's first casualty. People rant and make rude remarks. Flamewars usually only end when flamers weakly crawl off, exhausted from hurling and dodging verbal Molotovs, and sobbing, "This is my last message. You will never hear from me again. Goodbye." Most times, these very same people return when another flamewar erupts to fight once again, and usually about the exact same things.

Hot Tips:

To help a flame die a fast death, simply ignore it. You can't have a screaming match if one of you refuses to scream.

Try to avoid stepping up to defend others. It may seem terribly unfair when someone targets your friend(s) but unless your friends incompetent, they can probably handle it themselves.

If you MUST flame: watch your language and don't slander anyone. Most moderators will delete messages that contain too much obscenity or which launch ad hominem attacks.

DON'T ADVERTISE

Cyberculture is anti-commercial culture. UseNet readers are particularly hostile to those who enter their free-space to post overt advertising for commercial products. On commercial services (such as Compuserve, AOL, etc.), advertising is simply not allowed without official permission.

If you have products or services you wish to promote, learn the gentle art of networking: develop relationships, build friendships, and remember that the Net is an INTERACTIVE environment, and not television.

Hot Tips:
Beware of the three food groups:

To SPAM is to advertise repeatedly on boards where potential customers are likely to participate

To VELVEETA is to advertise on message boards whose participants are unlikely to buy your products

To JELLO is to do both of the above.

ROMANCING THE CLONE

A "New Yorker" cartoon once captured the essence of cyberspace. A dog typing at a PC, grinning guiltily, turns to a puzzled canine companion, saying: "No one knows I'm a dog on the Internet." As a matter of fact, I think I once met this very dog on Compuserve, but that's another story. Suffice to say, many people use cyberspace to indulge their fantasies and self- delusions. Caveat Lector.

Hot Tips:

Beware of the Weenie-Wanker! Though many people are sincere, just as many are on-line for a quick thrill. They will literally say anything to seduce you (male or female) into a cybersex chat.

Refer to "Say Hi" above: NEVER reveal personal information about yourself until you have good reason to believe the person on the other end is trustworthy.

Quid Pro Quo: if someone asks for your personal details but won't share his or hers--something is wrong.

ELEMENTS OF STYLE

While cyberspace is a perfect environment to let your creativity run free, there are some basic style standards for message-writing. Net habitues follow these guidlines to make their messages more readable.

Hot Tips:

Shut off your CAPS LOCK, use lower case, capitalize proper nouns, and punctuate as you would in a handwritten letter.

Don't hog message space talking only about yourself. Leave some space for those of us who want to talk only about ourselves.

Reading a page-length, margin-to-margin paragraph is as pleasant as reading an IRS bulletin. Break your thoughts into short paragraphs to make your points.

Don't be afraid to show your emoticons. In an ethereal world where "I'm so happy for you" could be either a snotty comeback or a heartfelt sentiment, emoticons (ASCII graphics) will remove doubt.

Brevity is the soul of acronyms. Spare yourself keystrokes and conserve message space by abbreviating common phrases and expressions.

A final note: the debate over emoticons and acronyms still rages, with the Literary Old Guard still insisting that smiley faces and short-hand degrade written communication. I could be rude but, well...YMMV.

For help with on-line slang, read A Glossary of Cyberspeech.

copyright © 1995 & 1996 Dr. Gloria G. Brame
brame@gloria-brame.com