BDSM, SM, D&S, D/s, or WIITWD? (what it is
that we do).
QUESTION: There are so many different
terms now for who we are and how we play that
even SM activists can't decide what
term to use in their speeches and books.
What do
YOU call yourself or your style of kink? Do you
see strict lines of division between SM
and BDSM? Do you do one but not the other?
Do you find all the different terms confusing? Do you think we
should decide on one word so we can better educate others?
If so, what one term do you think best describes people like
us?
I like to refer to me and my sub as D/s but when I tell anyone this that isn't in the scene they have no idea as to what I'm talking about. When I then say BDSM a light goes on over their heads and they go, "OH!!" I think it's best to call it whatever is appropriate for the circumstance at hand or in the privacy of your own home you should just call it "fun".
MPrit (secretgardn@hotmail.com)
ID US - Monday, February 21, 2000 at 23:06:43 (EST)
I am interested in all kind of fetishes, but first of all medical.
Zoltan Kortv (korty@nexus.hu)
Budapest, Hungary - Saturday, February 12, 2000 at 06:11:32 (EST)
Among those in the community i use the term D/s; with hipfriends i use the term 'kink'; with the rest of the world iuse the term 'BDSM'. i personally like the term 'kink', its been in use for a very long time and seems descriptiveenough with inviting questions that someone might not wantanswers to. The reason i use 'BDSM' with the public at largeis that i feel some responsibility to the community foreducating the public at large. i've begun working on a typological matrix similar to those based on Jungian personality typing like the Myer-Briggs Type Indicator.i'm doing this because i'm a sadistic masochist of mixed dominance that loves bondage but hates discipline LOL. i seriously believe such typing might be of use in advancingour understanding of one another in the community.
maggie (tarsier@hotmail.com)
seattle, wa usa - Thursday, February 10, 2000 at 19:28:29 (EST)
When I am in casual conversation with someone I am out to I use S&M because it rolls off the tongue nicely. I use BDSM in written communication because I particularly like bondage and humiliation play, I like the term power exchange play from an epistemological standpoint because I think it most accurately describes the true dynamic, but it is just not as sexy as S&M.
Dman4J
Brooklyn, NY USA - Thursday, February 03, 2000 at 13:51:01 (EST)
i think the term BDSM encompasses my lifestyle quite well. The problem, as i see it, is in the different perceptions of that term as used by lifestylers and by vanillas. Whereas lifestylers seem to understand that D/s (which is the underlying structure of the relationship), is part of that term, vanillas hear the expression and only think of the kink (which is simply an expression of the relationship). i am submissive; i express it through kink.
FireBaby (FireMastersBaby@aol.com)
LA USA - Thursday, January 13, 2000 at 21:23:17 (EST)
i think the term BDSM is quite comprehensive, and describes my lifestyle very well. i think the greatest problem is in the different perceptions of the term between lifestylers and vanillas. Whereas lifestylers more readily understand that D/s is the underlying structure of the relationship, vanillas seem to only be aware of the term as it relates to kinky activities (which for me are only one expression of that relationship). i am sub; i express that in kink.
FireBaby (FireMastersBaby@aol.com)
LA USA - Thursday, January 13, 2000 at 21:18:35 (EST)
i think the term BDSM is quite comprehensive, and describes my lifestyle very well. i think the greatest problem is in the different perceptions of the term between lifestylers and vanillas. Whereas lifestylers more readily understand that D/s is the underlying structure of the relationship, vanillas seem to only be aware of the term as it relates to kinky activities (which for me are only one expression of that relationship). i am sub; i express that in kink.
FireBaby (FireMastersBaby@aol.com)
LA USA - Thursday, January 13, 2000 at 21:16:04 (EST)
Yes we need to change the name of our activities to a warmer and friendlier name. I like tto think of my play as "Powerplay" as I turn over all power to my wife (Mistress) when we play. She is at liberty to use her power to her liking for the night. This arrangement satisfies both of our personalities. She becomes the Queen and i her slave. We both enjoy our roles for the night.
slvbillc (slvbillc@nightmail.com)
Corona, ca US - Wednesday, December 22, 1999 at 09:15:58 (EST)
To the Webmaster: Can't find your address, but thought you'd wnat to know that several of the archived previous questions have been truncated. At least they don't end in the usual sort of way. Hope it's a recoverable problem.
BT
US - Saturday, December 11, 1999 at 04:32:48 (EST)
E.P.E. (Erotic Power Exchange) is how I discribe it to outsiders and to our own. It is a simple phrase and to thepoint. No phrase or even paragraph discribes Everything, That part is up to the relationship...Master Vaughan
Gordon (lafleur@home.com)
Vancouver, B.C. Canada - Wednesday, December 01, 1999 at 06:23:16 (EST)
When I'm talking about the scene in general I like the "BDSM", when I'm talking about different aspects of what I do. I talk abot D/S, B/D ect. I also try to stay away from S/M because I try to distance what we do from the Marquee De Sade, because what he did what not safe sane or consenual, but I find that I have to use S/M for the vanilla people that I try to explain what we do,
Allen (AllenSwich@aol.com)
Cambridge, MA USA - Tuesday, November 30, 1999 at 10:28:13 (EST)
I too think that the term "BDSM" is very accurate, in thatit is all-encompassing. It very aptly describes what I do in my relationship, which is just about everything--from teasingmindgames to hardcore pain. I also use the term "S&M" a goodbit since I am a sexual sadist. True, though, the whole thing is getting a bit too overwhelmingly complicated. I don't knowwhat it is, but in this age of political correctness, it seemsthat ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING MUST BE MARKED WITH THE CORRECT LABEL.This is so tiring. It is my observation that living this kind of lifestyle and doing what I do allows me to safely slip outof a few social mores and really enjoy my sexuality. That'sthe main point of all this, isn't it?? I mean, maybe at timeswe need to clarify our sexual identities to others, but havinga perfect little cut-out white sticky label to attach to everythingwe do kind of defeats the purpose, doesn't it??Mistress Babylon
Ms. Babylon (Kalishakti@hotmail.com)
Knoxville, TN US - Tuesday, November 23, 1999 at 04:36:00 (EST)
I think people get too caught up in lables in general. Lables can be so limiting, but when trying to explain I use BDSM because it seems comprehensive : You've got the BD, the D/s and the SM. I prefer the psycological aspects of D/s, although I love to adminiser a good sound whipping as well. In my sex life I am a switch, but I don't get off on pain. I do like to be tied up and feel the thrill of submission, but hold the welts, please. I get off on dominating men too, but its a different kind of high.I think everyone in the Kink community should use the terms and language that they feel most comfortable with.
Feline
Portland, ME USA - Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 18:00:45 (EST)
I have always been strongly attacted to sexy, strong older women. My mother was a sexy strict woman and I guess I have always had a sexual attraction to her. My first "sexual" experience was listening to her having sex with her boyfriend when i was about 10. I clearly remenber not undersatanding my arousal but completely enjoying it. I used to stay up late to see who she had picked up at a bar. When she brought home young guys it was particularly exciting. My facination for older women has only grown stronger over the years.
Danny (Danmach2@cs.com)
Rochester, NY - Wednesday, November 03, 1999 at 11:30:54 (EST)
I feel that staying with the simple term, BDSM, says it all.I would consider myself to be a "Lifestyle Dominant". Having a real interest in all aspects of play, day to day.However, I have know others who only practice once in a while and they limit thier interest to just a few.Does that make them any "less" dominant/submissive? I do not think so. I try to keep the explainations simple. If the s/d has personal questions to what BDSM might mean to me, I reply that the definition is as unique as each of our "thumbprints". To each his/her own, Mistress Steele
Mistress Steele (sleepnbeauty@hotmail.com)
Fairfax, VA USA - Sunday, October 31, 1999 at 08:16:32 (EST)
Hi All:This is not on topic, but need some help. I am a 43 year old submissive who is also back in college. I am working on a paper about D/s for my Human Sexuality class, and am looking for articles/information that I can quote in my paper. If you have some good articles, or some great links to go to, it would be appreciated if you could E-mail them to me.Subgent
Subgent (pflmingo@aol.com)
- Sunday, October 31, 1999 at 06:55:24 (EST)
I am new to the scene and I prefer D/s to S/m. The different terms can be confusing to a newbie, however I think that you can give only one label because its different for everyone. I have been exploring for about 6 mons and its even different for me now than it was in the beginning. At first I was just looking for discipline, but now I am looking for for a Dom thats has some straits of a Master. We deeply commit to satisfing others.
dottiebugs (dottie108@hotmail.com)
flint, mi united states - Saturday, October 30, 1999 at 16:07:01 (EDT)
I'm a sexual sadist, I love giving pain & punishment in a controlled environment with a willing partner... I enjoy seeing my partner bound and enjoy his submission to the fullest... I branch out from my experiences to learn new things and don't classify myself or what I do. I do think there are too many classifications and that it can get confusing. Personally, I have always used the word Kink to describe what I do, it's just easier when explaining my lifestyle to people. The nice thing about that term is that there are varying degrees of kink, from mild to extreme and it is all encompassing of every D/s, BDSM fetish. (But that's just my opinion)
Shasta (Lady Kahn) (lionspride@telusplanet.net)
Edmonton, Alberta Canada - Thursday, October 28, 1999 at 01:49:03 (EDT)
If I really have to put a name to my sexual activities I would agree with BDSM. However, I am not one to try to categorize my sexual likes and dislikes. For the purpose of this opinion poll, I will say that I am submissive and I love hardcore sex with my dom, and or other participants, be they male or female, single or group. The fact still remains that this is not abnormal. Society, if they had a shred of truth remaining in them, would admit fleeting thoughts,stirrings, or images of our sexual experiences. They need to mind their own damn buisness. They have started a controversy they can"t win. You can"t tax it you can'tcontrol it, and you certainly can"t enforce it. So my suggestion is, be truthful of who you are, first to yourself, then to your mate. Becuase as they say, The truth will set you free. And in this case, you will be thouroughly pleased with your CHOICE>
freebird (lustyalot)
okla united states - Tuesday, October 26, 1999 at 15:56:13 (EDT)
I like the term BDSM-it encompasses the whole realm of play within the Dominant/submissive relationship. I regularily play with a group of like-minded,kinky friends and We describe Ourselves as " That better class of Pervert."But what We practice is the many pleasures of BDSM.To one of Us, I am obviously a Dominant, but , as I am repeatedly reminded, to much of the rest of society, I'm just an aggressive and pushy bitch!
Mistress Cat (sadopaideia@hotmail.com)
Victoria, B.C. Canada - Monday, October 25, 1999 at 22:36:26 (EDT)
Although everything we do is some from SM the bottomline is the power exchange. With complete trust in your partner or partners you enter the hypnotic world and outrageous world of S&M. The names mean nothing, but it'sall in the same realm. Frankly I ahve now idea what setsme off and have no idea what to call it, but it sure is an incredible experience.
Cool Slave
Boonton, NJ USA - Friday, October 22, 1999 at 19:46:43 (EDT)
I am first and foremost a bondager; I enjoy the safe, sane, and consensual tying of a partner for our mutual pleasure. I have been into bondage since high school, about 15 years or so. I didn't really begin to understand what D&S was all about until a couple of years ago, when I discovered that the idea of control, as represented by bondage, had deeper implications.The result is that how I describe what I do, and how I perceive what others do is altered. For me there is a distinct seperation between bondage, discipline, sadism, masochism, dominance, and submission, but that these various individual categories can be merged in various ways to describe almost any kink you can think of. There can be no one word for what we do, as much as a concept, namely control and its use and exchange. There are as many different styles in the BDSM world as there are people.
William (BindrUppr@aol.com)
NJ - Thursday, October 21, 1999 at 15:05:32 (EDT)
I'm not experienced in this, but I would be interested inmeeting a dominant woman with the hope of developing a long-term loving relationship. But then, dominant might mean different things to different people.
Erik Blair (richwcleve@aol.com)
- Sunday, October 17, 1999 at 06:00:35 (EDT)
I see degrees of delving into an alternative way of sexual love making. Although there is a point beyond role play, S&M,Bondage,ect., that it becomes either self degridation or the truly degridation of others that I question. But I dont know where that line is. Besides we all consider ourselves normal,it's the other guy that is not. Ha Ha
bill (billweaver@geotec.net)
beggs, ok usa - Sunday, October 17, 1999 at 01:52:45 (EDT)
BDS&M, I like those letters the best. They do encompass the whole term. We are new at this but love all the aspects of bondage and discipline. Just started the S & M stage and it has added to the whole relationship. S M could stand for sub for mistress or master. Somewho need to get attention to the kinky side of this lifestyle. We are glad to have this forum to speak and got lucky to find. If you have any information where we can get info or materials on this lifesytle please write and let us know. Hope to expand and have many many years of BDS&M.
Ronnie (RBJoseph@aol.com)
Clarksburg, WV United States - Wednesday, October 13, 1999 at 20:37:30 (EDT)
I consider myself a submissive as opposed to a slave.The connotation of slave is servitude and humiliation anddisobedience is grounds for punishment. It matters notwhether the slave enjoys it... only that she pleases herMaster.I submit because it is MUTUALLY satisfying and I wantnothing more than to satify my Dom because I know he willin turn satisy me. To me there should be an end to the roleplay and that is mutual sexual satisfaction.There is a fine line between SM and D/s. My greatest turn-onis bondage, not pain, although I love being spanked. My mateloves to dominate the scene and feel power over me, but hedoesn't like to inflict severe pain.I like the term "Alternative Lifestyle" My beliefs are mine and I respect others as theirs. Thereare degrees to everything. It is a personal choice.
Sweetcheeks (sdsrchr@flash.net)
San Diego, CA USA - Sunday, October 10, 1999 at 20:44:47 (EDT)
i think that what people want to define themselves as is a personal choice, and they'll use what makes them comfortable. i do agree with an earlier post about people who get upset when they hear BDSM, even if that's what they are into. that *really* irritates me; usually i refer to myself as "into s&m/bondage." it seems to create the least confusion among people who don't really understand. i'm starting to really understand the use of "d/s" as a term because of where i'm at in my relationship (i'm still fairly new at this -- i read a lot of books ). it depends on what i'm trying to describe to someone. i don't think its important to have an umbrella term, but my involvement with any sort of "scene" is that i know there's an AHS group in my area. my boyfriend used to go to it, but didn't have a car for a year... i don't know. i'm almost nervous about meeting others into the same things. up until about a year ago, i thought there was something seriously wrong with me. but then i came around -- i like being disturbed! sorry for all the rambling...xoxglitterthing
glitterthing (lovelydisaster@cs.com)
kansas city, missouri USA - Sunday, October 10, 1999 at 13:01:08 (EDT)
i am submissive, involved in a 24/7 Dominance and submission relationship. i see a distinction between S&M and BDSM in that S&M is just a small part of the whole. i am not a pain slut and engage in S&M primarily to please my Dominant. i do not find the terms confusing. As terms go, BDSM is a pretty good one in that it covers bondage and discipline, Dominance and submission, and, of course S&M.i am aware that leaves out some other kinks and have friends that refer to us as "kinky." However, i feel that includes some practices and fetishes that i would not like to be identified with, i.e. pedophilia, etc. So, as a general term, i think it is okay. i was long aware of my kink and looking for information anywhere i could before i came upon the term "BDSM". i think anyone who wants to be educated about the lifestyle will be enlightened rather than confused by that term.
elektra (elektra.z@mindspring.com)
Atlanta, Ga. U.S.A. - Wednesday, October 06, 1999 at 08:37:48 (EDT)
WIITWD...W/we love what we do. Whether it be for committment or pure lust,it is for love. I discovered I was into Kink as a young teen, beginning my Discovery as a "non specific kinker", now I'm a switch but mostly Domme. The sad thing is only 0.1% of my experience is in real time. My experience is online and I am a veteran of Hurt....unfortunately. One day a lovely sub will grace my Life. Love to A/all, MistressFiz, the wheelchair using Domme From Down Under XXXXX
MistressFiz (mistressfiz@hotmail.com)
Geelong (missing my Melbourne hometown), Victoria Australia - Tuesday, October 05, 1999 at 07:24:48 (EDT)
Labels are restricting, so we generally refer to our lifestyle and pleasures as "play". To help clarify for others, I'd have to say D/s, however, I maintain a strong, intellectual and playful personality. My favorite terms for myself are many: His little slut, a good slave, screaming whore, perfect bottom.... My favorite term for Him when verbal is 'Sir', and ML&M (my Lord & Master) when written. I maintain freedom of expression and He likes it that way, he adores who I am. There is no doubt tho, who has the final say (unless dealing with the children) and who wears the cuffs in the family (not the ones on pant leg bottoms). We enjoy created scenes, but our lifestyle is such that no matter where or what, a gentle reminder is all I ever need to submit. He'd never embarass me and my trust is total and complete. I've never felt so free and cannot be stuck under a label heading, unless it's Happy".
Angel (HzAngelO@aol.com)
Jacksonville, FL USA - Monday, October 04, 1999 at 13:43:27 (EDT)
I think of BDSM as a catch-all for those of us into kinky-sexuality.But in my own life I consider BDSM an activity it is what Ido, it is how I play. Lifestyle D/s is the type of relationshipstructure I desire (though currently without a r/l sub). Iam dominant by nature (just ask my mom, though she doesn'tknow about my lifestyle choices). I am a Mistress by training, experience and desire. I think chances are there will alwaysbe a disagreement on what a specific term means. I see a bigdifference between Topping and being a Mistress. I realizeothers don't. I am a Mistress to the sub(s) I have a deeppersonal relationship with. I am a Top when I play casually withsomeone for a scene with no relationship expectations beyondthe scene. The bottom may call me Mistress during it and Imay refer to him/her as my slave. But reality is when the sceneis over and aftercare is done we will go our seperate ways.Topping is something I do as part of my BDSM play. Mistressis long-term and committed for me. It is something I takeseriously and view as a responsibility. With that I willjump off my Soapbox. Thanks.
Loving_Mistress (ds_lifestyle@hotmail.com)
Gainesville, FL US - Saturday, October 02, 1999 at 14:49:57 (EDT)
we do BD and I am the submissive, my husband is the disciplinarianand we are branching into more bondage, best is over the kneespanking
ducky
ogden, utah usa - Saturday, October 02, 1999 at 01:22:57 (EDT)
I've often thought that B/D was basically .. the crafting of a solid bond, by at least two people who practice the self-discipline of ensuring mutual respect, mutual consent, and mutual support - with a bit of a zing to jazz it up! What is it supposed to mean? Rob
Rob
Canada - Saturday, October 02, 1999 at 00:36:12 (EDT)
I think a problem occurs anytime we try to generalise and catageorise peopleWe all have our own thing that we enjoy, do we really need to make a name for it?As long as all is consentual and "safe" does it matter, who cares? How many timeshave you heard someone say Men........... and some guy gets upset? Generalisations will always upset someone or other because there is always an exception to the rule.Thanks for listening and Play ON!!!
LD
NH - Friday, October 01, 1999 at 08:36:37 (EDT)
I think BDSM is a catch-all phrase for a wide variety of practices outside the norm. It amazes me how even in the BDSM community, one group will look down on the others, etc., (we have the same problem in the Pagan Community, there are elitist/separatists everywhere you go). I, personally, am into B&D...and toy with the others as fancies, but for me, the feel of the actual restraints are what matter to me, the physical lack of control over the situation. However, it doesn't mean that I am not part of the entire umbrella term just because I don't practice S&M per se. In a sense, we are all, along with those into body modification and Paganism and those who are gay/bi/lesbian/etc., part of a greater whole that we tend to refer to as the subculture. On occasion I'll look at myself and go...is this REALLY me? Am I really into this stuff? I'm warped! And then I just smile and nod to myself in the mirror and say, "Yeah, I'm warped all right, and I love it."Doesn't matter what label you put on me, I'm who I am and it includes the kinks as well as the smooth curves.One label? I don't think that will ever quite work, though if we chose one, I'd opt for Kink. I'm into Kink. I step outside of society's boundaries.Ah well, should be interesting to see how things progress over the next 20 years.
Yasmine Galenorn (yasmine@galenorn.com)
WA USA - Thursday, September 30, 1999 at 04:46:31 (EDT)
I think BDSM is a term used to "collect" a number ofvariations into a neat category. The advantage of thisgroup that one can embrace multiple or changing"disciplines" without being re-labelled. Such a category also lets one's imagination get exercised.
NorCalGuy (norcalguy@iname.com)
Califonria USA - Sunday, September 26, 1999 at 20:53:56 (EDT)
What is it that we do? this question is a perplextion masked in confusion. There is no right answer. We simply do what comes naturally to us regardless of what initials appear before or after, whether capitalized or lowercase. I care not how the vanilla world describes what it is we do. And as for our desciption of ourselves Shame on us for thinking we need one! If I had to describe what it is I do this is all I fell necessary to say...I LOVE..I SIMPLY LOVE.
Razi (kajira@internet.look.ca)
Toronto, Ontario Canada - Saturday, September 25, 1999 at 20:20:11 (EDT)
[PBJC] Well, I'm not sure if I should respond as I have been celibate for six years. So, I'm not into anything. . .yet. In the Carmelite Monastery, yes I was playing at serious slavery for a while, I learned there genuinely is arousal in Dominant and submissive relation-ships. We greeted our Mistress of novices and our Prioress by kneeling and kissing the floor, never looking them in the eye, asking permission to go to the bathroom, even whipping our behinds with a discipline (small braided whip) on fridays, (wednesdays and fridays during Advent and Lent.) You get the picture.Anyways, all of this occurred within a celibate, silent, monastic lifestyle. Was it S&M? Was it D/s? You see, relationships can contain different elements. Not technically the same thing as your BDSM scene, perhaps. Maybe more intense in the major slavery department. Definitely mind-control! Why do behaviors have to segregate people anyway? Preferences notwithstanding, this is all very human and very ancient response. There is definitely a sexuality to it. Pain can be very stimulating, even without the context of S&M, or a partner. Dominance and submission can also be very stimulating, even without the S&M. So in my humble opinion, they are separate categories, although fall within the one multiplicity of human sexual response.
formerly sr. regina pacis O.Carm.
CA USA - Wednesday, September 22, 1999 at 03:21:14 (EDT)
I've started several times to respond to this, but each time I get lost in the ironies and frustrated in expression. All these acronyms and alphabetic excursions I can't help but see as willful obfuscation. Even though (especially though) all are presented in their turn as the term everyone should and could agree upon, they all succeed primarily in further splintering the greater community of kink.
I think, first of all, that it's funny that codes--developed simply to save space and money in swinger magazines--have become so much a part of received wisdom among today's self-proclaimed perverts that they treat these arbitrary assemblages of letters with such reverence. Arguments about how BD differs from SM and DS and all the many variations thereof(with or without and ampersand, with or without a slash, with some letters capitalized and some low-case, and so on) will be tediously familiar to anyone who has spent appreciable time on Usenet or, in the old days, the bulletin boards, a great Big Ender/Small Ender bash that shows no sign of ever abating. I think the reason why is that newbies hasten to disavow themselves from all the nasty connotations of whatever term is prevalent when they arrive. S&M? Why, S&M is like Nazis and the Spanish Inquisition, whereas I am into a gentle and loving enactment of primal power and surrender that I will call something else entirely. Mind you, yesterdays S&M is today's BDSM, with pretty much the same things being done by pretty much the same sort of people for pretty much the same reasons, but people seem to feel better when they pack their sins onto a goat and drive it out into the wilderness, and so, away with you, S&M! And B&D, and CP, and D&S, and all you others. BDSM, your days are numbered.
Everyone is guilty about sex. Particularly kinky sex. People try to cut a deal with it, and they try to channel it into something they feel they can live with. Some just go over the top with over-reaction and start piercing everything that they can get a needle into and tattoo the rest and wear leather even to Kroger and go all over the country to compete in BDSM beauty contests and then again, some people furtively wank at their keyboards while a spouse snores in the bedroom and break all into a sweat in fear of ever exposing their, ah, dark side. Then there are those who want to deconstruct their desires and piece them back together in a pleasing or at least palatable form, going head-to-head with those whose deconstructions differ.. And then there are those who believe everything they read, and buy their philosophy wholesale, along with how-to tips from a simpering pack of poseurs who copy technical advice from old leather magazines and haunt Usenet to promote themselves. And even then there are those who are so guilty they can't even concede sex is about fucking and make a religion of it. And, cutting this list short, then there are those who just do it and don't much give a damn what you call it. And those people, of course, are a silent percentage, perhaps even a majority, but we will never know, because they don't come out and argue about it.
There are in-group dynamics to be considered, too. People like to be in the know and keep up with fashion, even if they have to invent it. What have you been doing, hiding under a rock? Everyone knows you call it BDSM nowadays. Particularly people who've been in the Scene for, oh, three or four weeks now and are just about to burst with the need to lord it over those seemingly less knowledgable than themselves.
I don't think that there will ever be a term we can all live with, and as for educating the public, I think we've got a long way to go toward educating ourselves first.
Love and kisses,
Contra
Contra Mundum
- Sunday, September 19, 1999 at 01:25:48 (EDT)
This whole line of debate, which continues on and on and on on the Net, frustrates me. I am suspicious of people who won't say they do SM, as if it was a dirty word or too far out for them. I think the reason they call it something else (I hate when they use wiitwd more than anything) is because deep down they feel that SM is wrong. They won'tadmit they feel guilty about being into SMso they call themselves something else and then that makes it all right.I had to get that off my chest. :) Thank yo ufor giving me a place to unload. . and also forletting me leave this without an email address so I don't get flamed. heeheee!
RuthBlue
USA - Friday, September 17, 1999 at 19:26:19 (EDT)
I would describe myself as ... a straight AB/DL, missing a few screws! I like the look of dominant female arch-types, but I don't want to be humiliated for being immature. To speak plainly, I'm not really sure, just where I fit into all this, if at all.
Rob
Canada - Sunday, September 12, 1999 at 03:47:13 (EDT)
My understanding of the term BDSM is (in order) Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, and Sadism and Masochism. To be honest the whole word fits what I do. I adore tight restrictive bondage.... so the first part of the meaning applies to me. I am submissive to my Mistress... so the second part does also. Even though it hurts terribly I enjoying submitting to pain which is given by my sadistic (but loving) Mistress. All which I do is within a dominant/submissive relationship. I am transparant to my Mistress and I delight in the smile which comes upon her face when she is "terribly cruel" to me. I especially enjoy remembering the next day... or the next week... all of the cruelties which I endured at her hands. It really excites me when she locks me into inescapable fetters....and makes me stay in an uncomfortable and bound position for extended periods of time. I guess I just enjoy being owned and used by her.
tinkerbell (tnkrbell77@aol.com)
Atlanta, Ga USA - Wednesday, September 08, 1999 at 22:43:01 (EDT)
Let us know what you think!
Gloria
Atlanta, - Wednesday, September 1, 1999 at 15:18:19 (EST)
PLAY SAFE
STAY SAFE
KEEP IT
LOVING
copyright © 1998 - 1999
Dr. Gloria G. Brame
All Rights Reserved
