Enjoy!....Gloria
What intrigues and enslaves so many different kinds of people from Canadian truck drivers to British politicians? Why does a young man in college save up for six months to visit a Dominatrix so he can smell, touch, and kiss Her feet? Why does a 50 year old C.E.O. visit his Domina once a week over a dozen years to grovel beneath Her and proclaim his eternal devotion? What's the connection between an East Indian Fakir laying almost naked on a bed of nails, and a North American business man wearing only leather cuffs and whip marks?
I strongly advise my clients to never analyse why they need their particular fetish and/or fantasy. It is unhealthy to deny your inner desires, so fully explore your secret self, and have FUN through S/M play. If you are not lucky enough to have your own personal Dominant and submissive relationship, seek Professional help! A Pro Dom should be able to offer you a clean and safe collection of creative and traditional S/M equipment in a professional dungeon. She should also possess intelligence, wisdom, creativity, passion, honesty, and S/M experience. A good Dominatrix will have a deep understanding of human behavior, and (contrary to popular belief), sincerely like men. An extensive wardrobe and a beautiful physical appearance are not the only standards to judge a Professional Domina by.
Of course a gorgeous latex clad Woman towering over you in six inch heels may bring you to your knees with Her beauty, but can She keep you there perched precariously on Her stilettos? The fetishes and fantasies that Pro Doms cater to (yes, We are providing a service, and you deserve to get what you pay for) require expertise as well as equipment. Your fetish/fantasy scenario is as distinct and unique as the Domina who fulfills it, and should be customised for the both of you, not read from a script.
Professional Dominatrices deal with (mostly gentlemen's) Sadomasochistic (S/M) fetishes and fantasies. There are eight areas of fantasy that a Professional Dominatrix caters to; Bondage, Discipline, Training , Crossdressing, Infantilism, Role-play scenarios (including Medical Scenes), Torture, and Body Worship (Non-oral-genital.) Any of these fantasies may cross over into each other, and are mostly experienced by paying clients only two to three activities per session. Many scenarios within the same hour or two can be too time consuming and costly for many submissives, and/or masochists.
A submissive and a masochist are not the same. A submissive is one who enjoys giving over control (sexually or not) to their Dominant. A masochist is a person who sexually enjoys pain and humiliation. Most submissives are Masochists, but not all are. Dominants , Sadists and Mistresses are not the same, either. A Dominant is a Person who enjoys being in control (sexually or not) of a submissive. A Sadist is someone who sexually enjoys inflicting pain or humiliation on a masochist (from the name Marquis De Sade). Mistress is the title of a Woman who Dominates a man or a woman, Professionally or privately. Most Dominants are Sadistic, although not all are. You know from my previous article that Professional Dominatrices are not prostitutes, and in this article you will learn what a that a good Dominatrix should be a professional guide through the arts of S/M. The Latin translation of Dominatrix is Queen.
The Marquesa, and I, Domina Zan Misery, are Professional Dominatrices , Sensual Sadists, and Lifestyle Mistresses. Sadomasochism is any activity that combines one person's sexual enjoyment of giving up control, with another person who sexually enjoys taking control. The controlled situation does not have to be sexual, but the enjoyment is. E.g. walking behind and to the right of your Dominant, or doing the housework in a collar, as a slave. S/M does not necessarily involve pain, humiliation , bondage or sex.
Myself, and other 'Professional Dominatrices' practice Safe, Sane & Consensual Domination. Safe, meaning all precautions, including viral and bacterial protections are taken before the S/M scene; Sane, meaning no alcohol or drugs, and no unconscious people, minors, or anyone else unable to make a valid decision are involved the scene; and Consensual meaning , All people, including voyeurs, agree to any or all activity that may take place, and fully understand the risks involved. ANYONE may exit the scene at any time, with the proper use of safe words. This is so the submissive does not have to "tell" the Dominant which direction the scene should take, but can still communicate with respectful S/M etiquette.
We use RED, YELLOW, & GREEN. "Red Mistress", means, ' Please stop the entire scene NOW because of medical concerns, I feel ill'; "Yellow Mistress", means, 'Please stop the session for a moment to talk about minor concerns, I feel uncomfortable.' "Green Mistress", means, 'Please continue exactly what You are doing, it feels great.' Both the Dominant and the submissive can use safewords. If the masochist loses the ability to judge their safety in the heat of a whipping scene, the Sadist must recognise when to call "Yellow".
It is my opinion that a good Dom should be able to read the body language and cries of their sub before the sub has to use a safeword. However, some submissives give as much feedback as a rock (as The Marquesa says; it's the same as a person who is a "dead-fuck") , and it is difficult to know a client very well during the first session. At least "Red" should be called, because I can't play with a broken "toy". If you trust me, I will bring you slightly past your "yellow" limit, then ease off. I assume "Green", but it brings me great pleasure to make my submissive feel good, so you may say "Green" as often as you wish.
If you wish the scene to start the second you enter your Mistress's domain, please talk about safewords on the phone during negotiations, before the session. Also, ask your Dominant if your limits will be respected. Submissives are not worth less than Dominants; respect should be mutual. Finally, inquire about her cleaning methods, and where and how she learned the techniques of Domination. If she can't, or won't answer your questions, visit a Domina who does.
One more Definition before W/we get to the intimate stuff; a Fetish can be defined as a sexual attraction to any inanimate object or non-sexual body part. The most commonly fetishised objects are feet, stiletto shoes, high heel boots, legs, and stockings. Hands, fingernails, gloves and cigarettes are very popular as well. I have one client who has a fetish for navy- blue leotards and turtlenecks with faded blue jeans on the Mistress, and on himself. Mistress Poison has a client who has a fetish for rubber rain boots, and a raincoat on the Mistress.
Bondage is the most requested S/M activity. According to The Marquesa, "There are four types of bondage; Hard, Soft, Humiliating, and self-restraint."
Hard, or heavy, can include being caged, boxed in, buried, metal chains and hand-cuffs, plaster mummification, multi-point suspension, needle and thread restraint (blood-play), and multi-sensory deprivation (hearing, sight, touch, etc.).
Temporary piercing is one method of nipple or genital bondage which would be considered hard bondage. Nipple or genital bondage can be heavy or soft, depending on what ties are used, and how they're used and if the nipples, cock and/or balls or cunt is tied to something.
Soft, or light bondage can include leather or rope restraint of the neck (but not strangulation!), wrists and/or ankles, a straightjacket, a body bag, an arm-binder, a hood, a gag, a blindfold, latex or plastic-wrap mummification, 2 or 4 point suspension, and single sensory deprivation.
Humiliating bondage often includes "forced" feminization with the sub being restrained with a corset, high heels, a wig and makeup. ( Dominas in corsets and thigh-high lace-up stiletto boots are also in bondage, but are not humiliated. I can get uncomfortable in heels after a few hours, but I feel and look very powerful when I am wearing my fetish gear. A man (who is not crossdressing) in heels and a corset is an embarrassing sight.) I have humiliated a client in a public café while he was wearing his leather cuffs and studded collar under his Bay St. uniform of a suit and tie. I told him to loosen his tie and undo his buttons so he would be embarrassed if people saw his slave collar.
Self bondage is self explanatory. Any method of restraint done by a person to their self, such as; a woman tying her ankles to her bedposts before she goes to sleep. Self bondage can also mean ordering the submissive to remain in one spot or position, with only their will restraining them. The person who is in bondage can be tied to their self, (wrists to ankles), another person, (which is very fun), or to an inanimate object such as a chair. Most Doms have special equipment for restraint, such as a bondage horse, a bondage bench, a St. Andrew's cross, a bondage table, an inverting rack, a torture wheel, a sling, a bondage post, a rack and pulley system, or even a suspension cage with a pulley system equipped for several hundred point suspension.
A common reason why bondage enthusiasts like to be tied up is that they need to feel helpless and under complete control of their Mistress. Many people feel secure and safe in a very limiting position. Some of My clients like to struggle against their bonds and feel restricted and uncomfortable. Some people get excited by the notion that they have been captured or kidnapped, so a frequent request is "inescapable bondage". Many S/Mers experience a floating, weightless "out-of-body" feeling, especially when they are mummified or in multi-point suspension.
To Me, bondage is a perfect way to escape from My physical body, and be released from the responsibilities that I carry. (Yes, I do switch in My personal life.) Every good Dominant should experience S/M as a submissive, or at least a "bottom's" point of view. (The Top is who controls the activity that takes place, but does not control the bottom. The scene, not the bottom is controlled by the Top.)
The second most requested service of a Professional Dominatrix is discipline. Then pain of physical discipline comes in two types; a "thump" feeling, which can come from a heavy and wide flogger, a paddle, or a padded baseball bat; and a "sting" sensation, which can be given with a single-tail bullwhip, a rubber strap, or a thin cane.
Discipline can be defined by the four categories of: hard, soft, humiliating, or self. Hard, or heavy discipline, can mean the masochist being hit tens or hundreds of times with a bullwhip, a leather or rubber flogger, a leather, rubber or wooden paddle, a leather or rubber strap, a tawse (a 2 or 3 pronged strap), a wooden, plastic or metal cane, a rubber hose, or any other object that causes great and lasting pain. Practically any implement can be painful, depending on how it is used. I have disciplined an adult baby with his heavy, urine soaked diaper whapped against his bum. Marks, scarring, or bleeding is optional, and your limitations and safety words must be communicated to your Mistress before the scene starts.
Soft, or light discipline, can be experienced through an erotic hand spanking, a soft yet heated encounter with a horse- tail flogger, a firm wooden hair brush , a tickling feather duster, or any other method of gently sensitizing (increasing the feeling) the skin or genitals. Soft discipline is absolutely necessary before heavy discipline, in order to warm up the masochist (or devoted submissive).
Humiliation is most often verbal, as opposed to physical abuse. This can be hard to soft, ranging from severe psychological abuse, disturbing a soul to it's core; or light-hearted name calling. E.g.; "You're more pathetic than a poodle with a pink pedicure." According to The Marquesa, "Discipline through humiliation disturbs and breaks down the submissives' ego, questioning the fundamentals of who they 'think' they are." A Dominant can see how much they are injuring a submissive through physical discipline, but can not see how badly they are hurting a submissive through verbal discipline.
Self discipline is obvious: any abusive act done by a masochist to their self. (Note the small but dedicated group of religious zealots that practice self-flagellation. These men are not ostracized, but looked up to and revered as holy men.)
Discipline is not wholly defined by the tools of pain, but how the implements are used. I can give such a light, relaxing whipping with a seal-skin flogger, that you will feel that you have just had a therapeutic massage. I can also use the same tool to turn your back into a red, swollen mess. If a feather is used long enough, and in one spot, the subject might be screaming for the session to end. These are the delicious nuances of S/M.
The reasons why people enjoy discipline range from the profane to the sacred. A masochist may desire the sting of his Mistress's whip as he is reaching his sexual peak. The line between pleasure and pain is very thin to many S/Mers. Some people feel an intense need to be punished for current, past, or even imagined misdeeds, and their Mistress's flogger releases them of their guilt. Some submissives take the discipline that their Mistress gives them through devotion, to please them, and satisfy the Doms' sadistic urges. Some slaves swallow the pain out of obedience. Religious people perceive that discipline completely absolves them of their sins. There are still festivals in many Spanish countries where dozens of men parade through the city beating their backs with leather floggers tipped with razor blades. They believe this is spiritually cleansing, and can reach a spiritually ecstatic state, and feel closer to their god.
Many of our clients understand the need for themselves to be properly trained through S/M. There are (mainly) 7 different training methods; submissive, maid, slave, slut, toilet, dog or equestrian training.
Submissive training involves teaching the S/M novice the fine arts of S/M etiquette, how to behave to a Mistress or a Master, how to hold your body, and how to treat a Dom the way They deserve--including massage, manicures and running Their bath-- generally making your Dom's life easier. Maid training involves all aspects of housework; laundry, dishes, floors, windows, cooking, preparing cocktails, serving, laying out your Dom's clothing, dressing your Dom, bathing Them, and (if you are very well trained, and won't embarrass your Dom,) They might allow you to serve at one of Their parties. Slave training means totally surrendering yourself, and doing everything that you have feared your Mistress or Master might ask of you. This may mean sexual, or even "humiliating" or humbling favors for Themselves, or Their friends. Slave training is the strongest way that a submissive can show his or her true devotion to their Owner .
Slut training is simply being a shameless, vulgar harlot. It often means throwing your ego out the window and being a complete trollop. This includes body language, clothing, makeup, and sexual knowledge. Most slut training involves men crossdressing as whores and behaving as such.
Toilet training usually entails receiving the honor of your Dom's bodily wastes, such as urine. 'Golden showers' are quite safe and sensual. Urine is sterile as it leaves the body, but I would not advise drinking it unless you have seen a 100% negative Lab Test result from your Dom's doctor. Your Dom might demand that you are "potty trained" and wear diapers, and order you to use them. If They are especially wicked, They might tell you to clean Their toilet with any tool They demand, including your mouth. For those who crave the "ultimate" in dirty play, there's always feces, or shit, called 'Brown Showers'. This can carry all bacteria and viruses, H.I.V. , Hepatitis (A.B.&C), parasites, and e.coli among other diseases. (As quoted by Trevor Jacques, Author of 'On the Safe Edge: A Manual For S/M Play' and 'Alternate Sources, THE definitive guide to the world of kink.') For the extremely perverse; 'Roman Showers', are to be gifted with your Mistress's vomit.
In dog training, you are taught how to be a "sick puppy". The dog will walk on all four paws in a leash and collar, and do many tricks for its' Mistress's or Master's amusement. Good dogs may lick their Owner's hands or feet, and sleep at the end of Their bed. Equestrian training involves you learning how to behave as a horse, and how to carry your Rider bareback, or with a saddle. Sometimes you may have a bit and bridle in your mouth, and if you are a proud pony, your Rider might let you use a butt-plug with real horse hair as a tail. If you are bad, your Owner will dig Their spurs into your sides, and hit you with Their riding crop.
Training is a form of role-play, but it is usually long term, and only undertaken when a commitment or a written or verbal contract has been made between the Mistress or Master and the submissive. Some people enjoy training because they need very strict rules on how to live, and have difficulty with self- discipline. Some submissives are in need of very ritualized control. This makes expectations very clear, and life very simple. Training is a positive way to dedicate yourself to your Mistress and Sadomasochism.
Crossdressing through Professional Dominatrices mainly involves men wearing the clothing of a Woman, including pantyhose (to hide that bulge), panties (silk or satin), high heel shoes, dress, wig, and makeup. Bras often support $40- $400 breast forms, corsets or waist cinchers create curves, and padded girdles give the illusion of feminine hips and a rounded ass. Sometimes, Women will wear the clothing of a man; usually a business suit and tie, men's shoes, and maybe even a hat. Some Women bind their breasts with elasticized tension bandages, and even "pack" a dildo or any other penis-like shaped object in their jockey shorts, or under their boxers in a jock-strap. Many cut their hair in a "masculine" fashion, and use makeup to create the illusion of stubble. A few 'Drag Kings' will glue moustaches, beards, or sideburns to their faces.
Crossdressing is not necessarily practiced by men (or Women) who wish to permanently become the opposite sex. Most people simply enjoy wearing the costume and accessories of the gender they are not , in order to experience sexuality from an opposite point of view. Some people crossdress for entirely non- sexual activities. Some men crave a release from having to be in control and "all powerful". They enjoy the "feminine, powerless or helpless" softer, and more relaxed and emotionally sensitive manner that they believe Women experience. Some Women enjoy the powerful aspects of being a man in a business suit, as well as experiencing the "masculine", confident, more controlled and emotionally strong manner that they perceive men have. Some people portray the negative stereotypical appearance of the opposite sex such as the "slut" or the "sleazeball". It is not realism, or "passing" that matters, so much as having fun. Some crossdressers prefer to be as authentic or "passable" as possible, in order to enjoy the full benefits of the opposite sex. Crossdressing is simply another way that some people have of escaping the responsibility, burden, and weight that their soul carries.
Infantilism is not pedophilia, a sexual attraction to children, as many people believe. Many men and Women merely feel the need to go back to a simpler, softer, and safer time.
According to the Marquesa; as quoted in Her documentary; Marquesa; Portrait of a Dominatrix, "Infantilists are incredibly sensual people." There's thick cottony diapers, creamy baby oil, silky diaper powder, Mommy's warm breasts, soft clean blankets, dairy fresh milk, constant and loving attention, and the strongest and most powerful love of their adoring mother.
When is the last time you played with blocks? When is the last time you "flew" on the tire swing hanging from the maple in your mother's garden? When is the last time you played in the sun until you fell asleep, and your parents carried you onto the porch to continue your nap? When you woke up, Mommy was smiling at you with a plate of your favorite foods, and no vegetables. Afterwards, two desserts! Adult babies have the best of both worlds. They are young enough at heart to be purely and simply happy, and old enough to understand how wonderful life can be.
Role-play or fantasy scenarios are a huge part of Professional Domination. An extremely popular scene is the medical scenario, where I can examine you as a Cruel Nurse, or a Sadistic Doctor. Enemas and catheters are commonly used in Our medical examinations. Medical sounds (increasingly sized probes of sterilised surgical stainless steel, inserted down the head of the cock via the urethra) are a quick and effective way to stimulate the bladder and prostate. Our authentic, leather covered medical table is excellent for securing the nervous patient while We administer the procedures. Many different sizes of sterile needles can be inserted into the patient's skin. Our cold stethoscopes will jolt your genitalia and get your heart racing. Very safe and realistic surgical procedures such as castration can be simulated. Electroshock therapy is still practiced in Our clinic. We can expertly use a scalpel to cut you, then professionally stitch you up with sterile sutures. Don't worry, We have dozens of clamps to "stop the bleeding". If you are in need of injections, we could safely use a needle and sterile saline solution to innoculate you, or maybe increase the size of your testicles with the same technique. Cupping and leeches are not out-of-date practices with Our medical staff. To clean you after "surgery", Our caring candy-stripers can give you a bath in the antique tub in Our studio, or if you are too "weak", maybe a sponge bath.
Some people ask Professional Dominatrices for role-play or fantasy sessions because they need their dreams turned into reality in a safe, consensual, and authentic manner. They sometimes use the reality that We have created with them for their own masturbatory desires at home, whenever they feel the urge. Some clients use role-play sessions with Dominants for non-sexual needs. These people have intense personal and psychological reasons, such as claiming power over past negative issues, or reliving happy memories. It would be extremely expensive and impractical for someone to hire an entire production company, when one or two good Doms could fulfill the fantasy for a reasonable fee.
Another aspect of S/M is torture. Bondage and discipline is not necessarily torturous. Many of My clients crave extreme pain. Being a Sadist, I enjoy giving it to them. As a Professional Dominatrix, I can torture someone quite safely and consensually. I could tie them up, and lash them until they cry with one of my well-used floggers. I could apply electricity to their genitalia, or affix biting little clamps to their nipples. Many drops of hot wax followed by a bucket of ice-cold water can be fun, too. Brushing a kitchen grater or sandpaper across the skin is always effective. I personally believe that keeping someone in constant fear is much more effective than brute force. A few softly whispered words, or a bullwhip whistling past someone's ear can make the anticipation more torturous than the pain. Something as innocent as a feather repeatedly brushed across a submissive's lips, and never allowing her to scratch them with her tongue or fingers, can be nicely evil.
Many people enjoy torture for the sheer terror, then the following rush of adrenaline and endorphins . Some people like the feeling of being completely out of control . Some people like to "live on the edge", and this can be done safely with a Professional Dominatrix.
A few Dominatrices allow their clientele the intimacy of "oral servitude". Myself, and any other Dominas affiliated with the Labyrinth do not service our clients with oral-genital skin-to-skin "body worship". We permit our gentlemen to adore our spiritual presence and physical body in a manner which is clean, legal, safe, and in keeping with the proper etiquette of a Mistress/submissive relationship.
The Marquesa has a favorite joke, where She tells a submissive to stand ten feet away from Her, and "orally" worship Her body. Of course, many gentlemen are completely tongue-tied at this point, and are totally unsure if The Marquesa is serious or not. Some men are smart enough to verbally worship Her, and they are rewarded with the Mistress's attention.
Occasionally, I will allow you to smell my feet, and if you are very well behaved and deserving, sample the aroma of other, more intimate parts of My body, such as My hair, neck, or underarms. Then, if you are a properly submissive gentleman, you will be allowed to touch and massage My feet. If you do a good job, you will be honored to massage My legs, My neck, and maybe even My bare back. If you can keep composed and polite, I will allow you to kiss and lick My feet. If you are still a good boy, and do not slobber too much, you may be privileged to lick and kiss My ankles, My calves, and maybe even the sensitive area behind My knees. For a final reward, you may use only your sense of smell to try to imagine what I personally and intimately taste like.
I think no less of a kinky man who enjoys to be hung from his bound wrists and ankles to achieve sexual ecstasy, as I do of a shaman who hangs balls and fruit from Her skin with flesh- hooks to reach a state of spiritual ecstasy. Kinky sexual S/M is just as important and legitimate as "pure" spiritual S/M. Many of the practices and activities are virtually identical. Whether you want to have sensual fun, or seriously enrich your spirit, each person must do whatever their soul asks for. How you choose to enhance your personal life is your business. My business is Professional Domination and I love it.
For My entire ten years as a Pro Dom, I have been debating the reasons for and against having sex with My submissive male clients. For the past two years of My ecstatic partnership with The Marquesa, We have also been discussing the issue. As She has said to Me, "Who made the rule saying We can't have sex with Our clients?" So, I have committed Myself to bring up the issue in this public forum, based on the pro's and con's of a Female Professional Dominant and Her male submissive client engaging (or not) in intimate sexual relations on a professional (paid) basis. I do not intend to say that sex should or should not take place, I only hope to explore all points for and against. We can all make our own safe, sane and consensual decisions.
What is sex? What is sex to a Female Dominant, and what is sex to a male submissive? For O/our intents and purposes, I will only define sex within this specific S/M context. Based on how We are made, sex for a Female is generally internal, emotional, and invasive, while being an expression of vulnerability and intimacy. Sex for a man is mainly external, physical and penetration, as well as being a show of strength and power.
The specific sex acts that can take place within an S/M scene are "bodyworship" (oral-genital skin-to-skin contact); hand or mouth contact of any part of a Mistresses' clothed or unclothed body, including Her breasts, Her cleavage, Her pubic area, Her outer vagina, Her inner Vagina, Her thighs, or any other (not necessarily) sexual part of Her body. A male submissive may also enter a Mistresses' body (via Her vagina, anus or mouth) with his penis, tongue, hand, finger or any other foreign object She may have in Her dungeon or bedroom, such as a dildo or butt-plug, or anything longer than it is wide. If the male submissive is well behaved and lucky enough, it is not unheard of for the Mistress to manually or orally pleasure the mans' penis or asshole with Her own body, or maybe a vibrator or any other tool She is prepared with.
Have you ever experienced any of the above acts within your Mistress/sub relationship? Or not yet? Have you ever questioned why or why not? Well, let's stop thinking with our groins, and start thinking with our brains. (The brain is the largest sexual organ.)
There are a few reasons why sex might happen in an S/M scene between a Domina and a (male) sub. The main reason is that a Dominant Woman should do whatever She wants to do, whenever She wants to do it. (Providing, of course, that all players safely and sanely consent to the activities that may take place.) Professional Domination does fall into the business category of the "Sex Industry". We are providing a sensual, (although not necessarily sexual) service. If the fantasy or fetish of the male submissive involves sexual (as opposed to sensual) gratification, and if the Dom agrees to providing this kind of service during the negotiations, both the Dom and the sub could benefit from this arrangement.
A potential client called Me the other day stating he has a "cunt fetish". After my laughter stopped, I informed him that all men have a cunt fetish, (as do most lesbians!) If his fantasy involves being smothered with a Woman's breasts, or suffocation with a panty-clad (or naked) cunt, or strangulation with a powerful Woman's thighs, it is highly possible he will be able to find a Pro Dom willing to provide that kind of service. Some submissive men feel that a Woman cannot enjoy a scene without sexual gratification, (eg. An orgasm or a very well faked one), therefore they enjoy "orally pleasing a Mistress". Some bottoms get a thrill out of "degrading" themselves by cleaning the Mistresses' moist fragrant pussy or freshening up Her pungent asshole with their eager tongues. I personally do not think of the sub as degrading themselves, but as being greatly honoured and rewarded by that intimate pleasure. But, I am the last person to judge others' perversions. It's a sick world! (Thank Goddess.)
It is my hope that if people are enjoying these activities, they are practising saf(er) sex. An attractive Woman who is sexually available to anyone with enough money has probably been with many more sexual partners then a Woman who is not employed through the sex industry. Realistically, She has a greater chance of being in intimate contact with someone who has an S.T.D. Most professionals in the sex industry use protection, but many people do not use latex condoms and/or dental dams when they are engaging in oral sex. (Especially combined with an antiviral lubricant or spermicide that has nonoxyl 9.) These two precautions are nowhere near 99% effective against H.I.V, Herpes, or any other S.T.D. except when used properly. If your mistress has allowed you "the greatest of honours", who else has She allowed? Please respect yourself and your Dominant, by using complete and proper protection.
For certain Dominant Women, combining S/M and sex can be hugely financially rewarding. If the "traditional" Dominant decides to provide "full service" for Her clients, She can double Her income. Fully equipped, quality Domination sessions led by a safe, competent Domina are currently going for around $225 for an hour. (Please consider that Our dungeon has about $100,000 worth of custom- made equipment; and a single outfit can run upwards of $500 for boots, $500 for a corset, $1000 for a bra, panties, garter, and/or a top with a skirt or pants. Please do not ask the price of this in leather or latex! This does not include makeup, hair, manicure and pedicure. The total outfit can be minimum $2000.)
Sexual "full service" Domination starts at about $400 for the hour. This higher rate was what the standard foot fetishist paid for an hour of My time ten years ago. (There were as many Professional Dominatrices in Canada then as there are in Toronto, now.) Money means different things to men and Women. Generally, men equate money with power. (That is one of The Marquesa's thoughts.) Money brings feelings of security to Women. The reason that finances are dealt with at the beginning of a sensual exchange between men and Women is because men are subconsciously giving the power (through money) to women, and Women need a sense of security before sharing themselves sensually. It is not surprising that some women have decided to combine sex with Domination for money.
However, many of Us Dominant Women have chosen NOT to allow our inferior male submissives sexual intimacy. Mainly, We exist in the grey area of the Law, and providing sex for Our clients would be too much for an archaic legal system to handle. Women Who have all the power and sexual initiative as well? Call the Morality Squad!
Canada's outdated sexual laws are hardly enforced on the "Johns" who frequently break them, meanwhile legally and financially penalizing the mainly poor and uneducated Women who are only trying to make a decent living. Our current laws only protect the frigid and hypocritical men and women who for political, social, and personal reasons wish to impose their minority morals on the public majority. The illegality of sex for money only increases shame and secrecy, as well as the spread of diseases. Prostitution should be decriminalized, so we can regulate the sex trade for reasons of public health safety, and also make distinctions based on the quality of service. Many European governments have successfully regulated Prostitution. But, for now, "solicitation for the purposes of sex" is illegal in Canada. The best Professional Dominants can do is keep legally clean, and maybe one day, Our Profession will not be in such a grey legal area.
Another reason sex should not take place in a paid S/M scene is because of the health hazards explained earlier. Many of My sub male clients visit Me because they respect their current partners,(and themselves) and wish to experience a sensual exchange of power without physically or psychologically compromising themselves. Unless you have been 100% monogamous with your partner (and they 100% in return) for ALL your sexual life, you must assume everyone you play with has every disease and S.T.D. , and play with that in mind. This is the only way to stay alive and healthy enough to continue an active sensual/sexual lifestyle.
The biggest reason to not have an intimate sexual Dominant/submissive relationship, is because such an interaction is fundamentally against the principals of a Dominant Woman's and a submissive males' exchange of power. Professional Doms are the Untouchable Goddess to sub. males.( The literal meaning of the term "Dominatrix" is Queen.)
By the nature of sex, men cannot look up to a Woman who lowers Herself to his level for physical sexual gratification. Men equate sex with power and penetration, and Women generally equate sex with vulnerability and emotional and physical surrender, by the fact that men put their penises inside a Woman's vagina (or mouth, or anus) and inside Her body. A man naturally feels he has to be in control in most sexual exchanges, and if a man is truly submissive, he should want to give the power and control to a Superior Dominant Woman. The only reason a man would want to have sex (orally, vaginally, anally or manually) with his Mistress is if he wants to take the power back (that he previously gave his Dominatrix) at the end of their session. These men are uncomfortable, and unsure about their submissive nature.
As The Marquesa says, " Hamsters can fuck. It takes an intelligent human being to be perverted." True S/M is not about genitalia. To quote The Marquesa again: "Putting a cock in a cunt is not necessarily the punctuation at the end of a sexual sentence." Real S/M is about sensually, physically, emotionally and spiritually challenging one's self. Not getting off.
Personally, I have nothing against sex for money. I love going to watch gorgeous male or Female Exotic Dancers. I am passionately dedicated to My calling as a Professional Dominatrix. These three careers are considered part of the Sex Industry, but they are not the same, and should be kept completely and totally separate.
It was only a few years ago, that thanks to the perverted perseverance of a few people in the S/M Community ( The Marquesa included), that consensual Sadomasochistic Activities were taken out of the Diagnostic Manual of Psychiatry as deviant and negative practices. Just think! Safe, Sane and Consensual S/M was considered on the same level as Paul Bernardo's and Jeffrey Dahmer's criminal activities. (Thank you, to Those who changed that outdated belief.) Hopefully, "communication with the intent of purchasing sexual services" (including Domination) will be legalized soon. It will be very difficult for that to happen if the sex profession does not start treating sexual services (including S/M) for money as legitimately and seriously as private consensual S/Mers treat themselves. In order for this to happen, sex must be kept separate from Professional S/M. Currently, any item or activity that a single independent police officer views as "obscene" is legal cause to shut down an entire dungeon, and confiscate all of the Professional Dominas' equipment and personal belongings. This MUST change.
If a male submissive comes to the Labyrinth, and visits with any of Our Dominas, they will be honoured and respected as subs, and We know you will revere Us as Dominants. You will be sensually entertained, challenged, and played with. We fully realize that men are largely sexually influenced, however We know that you have a mind, and spirit as well. I promise you that We will explore you as completely as you will allow and trust Us to. We will take you above and beyond a mere sexual experience, and grow and explore the world of S/M with you. There is little better than a good animalistic fucking. I Myself have crossed over the slippery sexual line a couple of times, by the powerful energy that I have created with a submissive in a scene. However, the most meaningful and memorable time I have had has been in a scene where there was only pure S/M.
A good Professional Dom can stimulate your mind, body and spirit. We have the intelligence and creativity to challenge and entertain you for the entire time you are in Our presence, without resorting to sex.
Thank you to the Marquesa for Her help and multitudinous
suggestions and opinions.
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