The mind has been working overtime the past few days and as usual when that happens I have questions.

Here is the one that i have pondered and have decided that i would ask it.

Do you feel that there are certain characteristics or perceptions that are sort of universally held by Dominants about submissives in general?

If yes why ...... if NO why?

What perceptions do you have that seem to spill over into your interactions with submissives ....
... the Novice
... the more experience submissive
... submissives that you know personally

Do you feel that there are commonly held expectations for a submissive and do you have certain consistent expectations of most to all of the submissives that you come in contact with ?

I know ..... more than ONE question by I would be most appreciative for all of the responses.

Storm

Midear Storm-

   Okay, first and upfront, these are generalizations, and do not apply universally. They are also my opinions based on observation, and not roolz or laws of nature-- and most are based on my perception of male dominants and female submissives.'nuff said.

   I'd say that IMX, most submissives are more aware of control issues than dominants. I had a clear example of this when, shortly before a meeting of my local disscussion group, I decided that we should open the door to the deck for ventilation. There were about ten early arrivials, mixed between dominants, subbmissives, switches, and singles and couples. I grabbed one end of the bench that was in the way, and asked the assembled group to give me a hand.

   The four dominants and one of the switches in the room promptly stepped up, and started moving it- three of the group, all submissives, wanted to debate why I was in charge.

   To me, this seems natural- they give more when they submit, so they are more sensitive about authority. On the flip side, many of the dominants I know, seem to avoid leadership positions outside of their relationships, provided that someone is doing something to lead.

   I also find, though this is a more tenouous link, that submissives tend to be more out going than dominants in social situations, and that submissives are more prone to be self directed than dominants, who seem to be more other directed.

   And someone recently offered the observation that subs fanasize, dominants plan- seems to work for me<g>.

stay warm,

Lawrence

From: Thorn4MyRose

To: Eclypse (Re: IMX): Excellent reasoning skill there. You hit it right on the mark. (And GS is Golden Showers, or submitting to being urinated on. Seems you asked about that in another thread. Just being efficient.)

To: Storm (Re: Your questions -- which are always excellent):

<<Do you feel that there are certain characteristics or perceptions that are sort of universally held by Dominants about submissives in general?>>

I think that if you ask any 20 dominants that question, you'll likely get 57 different answers. But once you boil those replies down to their common traits, I'll bet they end up sounding very similar indeed. ;-)

<<What perceptions do you have that seem to spill over into your interactions with submissives>>

I personally begin by advancing a degree of respect which will either strengthen with time, or deteriorate to a point where it convinces me that the person doesn't really know what submission is. I do this at the outset because I believe that a person professing themselves to be submissive is sincerely expressing their belief that they are a person of strong character who derives their pleasure by confidently devoting something about themselves to the pleasure of another. Frankly, I think that makes them a very special person -- and certainly worth any risk on my part to advance them any benefit of doubt. Their experience level doesn't factor into this.

<<Do you feel that there are commonly held expectations for a submissive and do you have certain consistent expectations of most to all of the submissives that you come in contact with ?>>

Commonly held? I think it's a fairly common expectation for submissives to be honest and trustworthy, but isn't that a reasonable expectation in just about any interpersonal relationship? It's certainly my only expectation of anyone I come in contact with, submissive or otherwise. Yes, meeting that expectation does take time, but it's time well invested when the expectation is met. (And when it isn't, I simply stop the expectation as well as the investment.)

Hope that helps in whatever it is you're trying to figure out. :-)

Be safe,
Thorn