What do I get out of all this? A number of things. It's an expression of the fact that I am not necessarily what I seem. I am not the typical doctor's wife, not the typical mother. There's more to me than most people know. At this point, it's an external statement. I've always had a line: people either knew me or they didn't--there were things they needed to know to be considered friends or for me to be completely comfortable with them. And the tattoos [are a] kind of external expression of this. You don't really know me if you haven't seen my tattoos.

I get the tattoos for myself; that's what they're for--me. I also know that [The Doctor] likes them, and that's very important. I'm not sure what would have happened if he had a completely negative reaction. I don't know if I would have gotten the first one. I might have. Now they express a link between [The Doctor] and myself. We're both tattooed. When someone sees us walking down the street, very often he'll have [his] tattoos showing, and I'll have mine showing. I wasn't sure he was going to get one when I first got it. But it has taken on that [meaning] for me, that feeling of commitment.

The tattoos speak of a kind of an intensity and a passion and a lack of [the] fear that most people have. The thing that most people back away from and are very afraid of is the fact that [tattoos] are permanent. When I first got them, that was the most interesting aspect to most people. It wasn't what it was, or where it was, or even the art of it. [People] could appreciate the art of it, but [they said], "How do you know you'll want it there five years from now?" Well, nowadays you probably can change them, [but] when I got them, I was not aware they could be changed. In some ways it's a willingness to commit to something, to making yourself different [from] the rest of the world, to acknowledge it.

When someone asks me, "What if you don't want it there five years from now?" my attitude is, "What if I don't want my kids five years from now?" I've made a commitment. Why wouldn't I want it? I've made a decision. It grows with you. It's a part of you. In [my] 36 years, I have made numerous decisions, and I don't have any major regrets about the decisions I've made in my life. I looked at all the options; I thought about almost nothing else for that period of time and looked at it every which way I could think of [and made my decision].

I had seen tattoos from afar for [a] long time. They were mostly the military or biker kind of tattoo. I had never known anyone who had them. I never understood why people would do that. Then I met an individual who had a full-back piece, a naked woman chained to a wall. It was not an outline picture; it was not stereotypical. I realized that [a tattoo] could be art, and I could understand why people did it.

[The Doctor] had some magazines around, and one day he was talking with the individual who had the back-piece about tattoos in the magazines. They were looking at women with tattoos. I saw there was an interest there and that he found it at least intellectually exciting and sensuous. Some of them were very, very attractive, and I suddenly thought, "I could do that!" The question was, "Do I want to?" [But] it was no longer a foreign concept. It was about adding beauty, and I could understand it. So I thought about it and then came to him and said, "What if I got one?" I've done a lot of things in the years that we've been together. I [have] said "What if I dropped 50 pounds? What if I changed my hair color? What if I did...?" And [The Doctor's] always said, "That's fine, whatever you want." When I said, "What about a tattoo?" he jumped up: "What? Where you going to put it?" He got very excited about it, and that kind of clinched the decision. I went and got my first tattoo.

[Wearing] a piece of art appealed to me. [It was] an expression of being different, acknowledging the fact that I wanted it and that I was not afraid. I liked the idea that it would be there the rest of my life and that I chose to put it there. I have a number of beauty marks [on] my body. I've always accepted them. [But] the idea of choosing something that I would wear the rest of my life appealed to me.

My husband got excited and really got involved; [he] enjoyed the idea, so I decided to go with my first piece on the shoulderblade three years ago. The first piece is an open rose. It's predominantly different shades of blue. The first [time], I was apprehensive, because I had never been in a tattoo parlor before. I [had] uncomfortable feelings about going [there]. I chose to have the individual who had the tattoo on his back go with me to have somebody who could tell me what to expect. We went, and I brought home three different designs. [The Doctor] and I decided on the rose. Then I went back and had it done.

[The Doctor] was fascinated; he was excited by the entire experience. I know he liked that I was willing to take a certain amount of pain to put something on my body. [But] it was not exclusively for him. If I'd done it for him, it might not have been as positive. It was for me and for him; it was for us. [The pain] was not an issue for me. It was uncomfortable, but I didn't feel like I had gone beyond my limit. It was less painful than I had expected it to be.

It [took] about two weeks for the tattoo to heal. During that period of time, after 10 years of marriage, I was the hottest thing on two legs again, which was a wonderful feeling. He followed me around the house; he was always nearby, touching, holding. It was wonderful. That's when I decided pretty much what I was going to do. I [now] have about 40 hours' worth of tattooing on me.

I went for the second one alone. I never did that again. It was more painful; I had nothing to focus on. That's the only time that I got up--the tattoo wasn't done; it still needed a little bit more color--and said, "No. It'll get done some other time." It was not the most painful area to get done. I [just] wanted [The Doctor] with me. From then on, I would not go by myself.

I went through cycles of getting a tattoo every two to four weeks. As soon as one would heal, we'd start talking about the next one. The piece [on my back] started off as flowers--the rose, an orchid, a lotus, and a morning glory with graphics. The orchid is on the left side of the back. That one actually had to be done twice. It was recolored the second time. I wasn't happy with it. The morning glory with the graphics is on the left upper buttock.

We [also] experimented with painless tattooing, and I had a [kitty] cat put on my bikini line. We did it with Lidocaine. You don't feel it going on, but when the [anaesthesia] wears off, you're suddenly aware you have a tattoo. Instead of coming on slowly, it's like "Oh, yeah! I feel that!" It's the only one that I have that I didn't feel being put on.

I had a hip piece done on the right side. It's [an] Aladdin's Lamp with smoke turning into the front of a horse. There's a carp on my right breast. And then I had all the flowers connected with smoke and graphics. And bubbles. They wind around to a graphic piece on the bottom of my left buttock, and the smoke goes to a cauldron on the inner aspect of my left thigh. In shorts, you see two sources of smoke, basically, on the outer [side] of one thigh and the inner of the other. I got them all within nine months.

I sound like I'm terribly tattooed, but I can go out, and you [wouldn't] see any of them. I [have been] concerned enough about the outside world that all my tattoos are easily covered. I can wear a sleeveless blouse; I can wear a scoop neck; I can wear anything except short-shorts or a bathing suit. I can go formal [or] casual, and you don't see any of it. Since I've gotten them, my wardrobe has changed. I have to go out of my way to get clothing that shows them off, and that's why I'm thinking of other kinds of pieces that are more easily shown.

Unless it's winter and I'm covered up from head to toe, I often will go out of my way to show them [off]. You need to accept them in order to accept me. And if they bother [you], there's probably a whole lot of other stuff about me that's going to bother you. It's a nice externalization of that [philosophy]. I have carefully chosen the pieces on me. They express different things: there are no angry images, no destructive images. Some of them are powerful, and to some people, some might even have a sense of magic or of menace to them, because of the cauldron. But [they feel] perfectly comfortable on my body.

I was not uncomfortable with [being nude for the tattoo]. I was aware that it turned [my husband] on, and I found that pleasant and somewhat exciting. In some ways, with him it's more of a [sense of] pride. It's not something I would have done if he hadn't been there. But it's a sharing of me. I don't know if it would have had a different effect if it had been a stranger. We were very good friends with the tattooist. I knew his children, his wife; we'd socialized. A lot of people find that very uncomfortable, [but] we've always socialized with my obstetrician, [too].

The art of [tattoos] is sexy. They are beautiful pieces of art, and to me they are [permanent, aesthetic] accessories. Whether [I'm] wearing a backless dress or a formal gown they add something. I think they're also an expression of passion and strength that can be sensual and sexy. I may objectively fit more patterns than I care to admit to in terms of looking and playing the submissive, but there's a strength and an amount of control [within me] that I insist on. The tattoos reflect [that strength].

[When] I find a piece that I like or I find a place that I want [tattooed], tattooing and the ensuing sexual energy in the household appeals to me. [The Doctor] definitely is going to get more. And I will probably get another one. [There is] an arm piece that I will [eventually] get. It will be a black graphic band around the upper aspect of my arm. I'll probably have [The Doctor's] name somewhere in it, not necessarily easily found, but definitely there. The question is when. It may be something I'll do now. [Or] if, for some reason I lose him, that will be the black arm band I will wear to show devotion for the rest of my life.